And because I know you're just all up in the silly, how about heading over to Kathy's blog to see what other funny is going on?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
You thought you were safe since I did a twitter ho-down post earlier in the week, didn't you? HA! You were wrong! Wrong! *insert maniacal laughter here* Now, where was I? Oh, yes. The twitter ho-down post. Onward!
Friend's back is out. How'd she hurt it? Trying on a pull-up Spanx garment. I totally empathize. Still I want to laugh like Phyllis Diller. (RT @Carolcdt)
Should I put the lampshade on my head now or wait until later?
Someone's delusional and it's you.
Yeah, yeah. I've got all kinds of humility. I'm the most humble person I know, and that's saying something.
What? No fanfare? Sheesh.
EEEEEK! A male! Oh wait. It's only Jason. Carry on.
#wookieleaks. Like wikileaks, only more Star Wars-ish
He wasn't going to Toshi Station to pick up power converters #wookieleaks
Those really were the droids you're looking for. #wookieleaks
Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father #wookieleaks
The Death Star has a serious design flaw in one of its exhaust vents. #wookieleaks
Leaked Jedi Council memo indicates there is a Try. Senior Jedi Masters unavailable for comment #wookieleaks
Security footage proves Alliance whitewash over Cantina incident: Han shot first! #wookieleaks
A little bit longer ones
duane_scott I am buying a piece of fitness equipment. Its going to make such a nice piece of decor.
weightwhat @TheRustedChain Going to a nudist camp, are we?
duane_scott Anyone participating in Pleasantly Disturbed Thursday? Here is the button. I finally made it into code. http://ow.ly/2i5Qy @weightwhat
weightwhat @duane_scott Why am I being singled out as being pleasantly disturbed?
CandySteele @billycoffey I actually get to serve fried turkey legs to the 25,000 bikers coming to town. That's a lot of dead turkeys.
weightwhat @marni71 Just checking to see if everyone (around @katdish) survived all the sessions today.
WritingJoy @redclaydiaries Right. Perfectly sane. Or perhaps you are like @weightwhat in that Twitter helps you feel normal?
weightwhat @WritingJoy @redclaydiaries Joy, what are you trying to say? Steph, thanks. I think.
TheRustedChain What are your favorite ways to keep kids entertained on a long road trip? (other than movies)
makeadiff21 Hahaha. Does that actually work??
Schnik Why is it when i have nothing planned for the weekend, that's when i feel like i'm swamped?
weightwhat I'm back! Let the wild rumpus start!
redclaydiaries The. Drum. Kit. Is. Here. Happy migraine to me...
Okay, now you're safe. There couldn't possibly be another twitter ho-down post again this week. Or can there...? *insert even more maniacal laughter here*
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I spent yesterday being disturbed. And no, not pleasantly. What could possibly disturb mild mannered little me? Allergies. Bad ones. Ones that make me don my protective headgear.
I had to go to Target yesteday to get reinforcements - another multi-pack of tissue (with lotion in it, of course). I thought I was walking in there totally prepared, having filled my pockets with tissues, but there wasn't enough preparation in the world enough to cover these allergies.
As my daughter and I worked our way through the store, I was quickly using up my tissue supply. I was a sight to behold with my red, chapped nose and my watering eyes. But clearly, that wasn't enough for me, because by the time we'd reached the back of the store, I was on my last tissue. Last tissue. In the back of the store. Far away from the restrooms where I could get a toilet paper backup.
Ya ever have so much snot in your nose that when you blow your nose it shoots out of the bottom of the tissue and down inside the v-neck of your t-shirt, sliming you completely? Uh, yeah, that never happened to me, either.
Target has all those scanning stations all over the store that also have a phone and a trash can attached. Well, they USED to have paper towels in them, too. Yeah. Used to. Stupid budget cuts.
I finally made it to the bathroom. It was a big cleanup job. I guess I should feel bad for whoever got that cart after me... And now I can't help but wonder, were the security guards having a good laugh while watching me on the monitors yesteday? Or are they now as disturbed as I am?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Feel free to don your protective gear, because it's Twitter Ho-down time! You knew it was coming, so I hope that you're prepared.
Going to make breakfast now. That's right. All this AND I'm domestic!
I've discovered the ultimate pizza topping. Footlong meatball subs. (RT @badbanana)
DD just told me that she's going to go clean her balls. (bouncy balls) Resisted urge to say "TWHS" to her. Wasn't easy.
ADDerism - I would have a longer Attention Span if so many things weren't so SHINY! (RT @3stepsadd)
Here's your problem - you've got it set to 'evil.' #randomsimpsonquote
I'm a member! #randomsimpsonquote
But it comes with a free frogurt! #randomsimpsonquote
A little bit longer ones
Schnik Here's something new and different. I'll be wearing my "Front Desk Nick" hat today, so it seems.
weightwhat My blog post today has gotten quite a few hits, but is seriously lacking comments. Apparently I'm being read by the silent masses.
katdish I love automatic DMs after following people! Also? It's opposite day.
weightwhat Don't look @katdish! Too late. She looked. http://tinyurl.com/23uy4su
weightwhat Good morning! Please use small words with me - I haven't had my coffee yet.
weightwhat Is 9:37 am too early for Cheetos? I think not.
The ones that are even longer
Brian_Russell Sometimes... I'm an idiot.
weightwhat Coffee in hand. Life can go on.
SBeeCreations At work early this morning and coffeeless.
makeadiff21 @weightwhat I have never heard of chocolate zucchini bread. How did I miss that conversation?
br8kthru @weightwhat Will we be bringing on the zombies today then? (we totally need our own language- that's what the cool people do)
Okay, take a break. But be warned... There's more Twitter Ho-down to come! Muahahahaha!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Is your life funny? I'm guessing yes, it is. So how about giving us something to
point and laugh at laugh with you about? Write up a blog post and link it below, huh? All the cool kids are doing it.
Okay, today's post is a re-print. Hey, you probably haven't read it, so quitcher belly achin'. That being said... Enjoy!
So, that got me thinking about handcuffs and it reminded me of something I did when I was little. My dad used to be a police officer, so of course, he had handcuffs. And what kid doesn't love to play with handcuffs? Unfortunately, I wasn't supposed to play with them. But they just called to me...
One day when my parents were out in the front yard, I got a hold of the handcuffs. And did I put them on my wrists? Of course not! I put them on my ankles. Tightly. Hey! They wouldn't come off! I knew that I shouldn't have been playing with them, but I didn't want to get into trouble, so what did I do? I hid under a table and hoped that they wouldn't notice me. In my young mind, it was a brilliant plan. It might have been a better plan if that table had had a tablecloth on it. Yes, I was caught immediately. Yes, I got in trouble. Maybe if I had been wearing a long skirt and just took very small steps... Or hopped... No, I'm sure that wouldn't have worked either.
Well, I learned my lesson. Don't play with handcuffs unless you've got the key. What? Did you think I'd say "follow the rules," or something like that? Nah. Too much good blog material comes from not following the rules. ;o)
The following video is probably a PG, but you might want to make sure there are no little eyes around. Less 'splaining that way.
Okay, now it's your turn. Bring on the funny! Then sign up below with your blog post. And don't forget to link back to here, huh? You don't want to face my wrath now, do you?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
But enough about that. You're obviously here for the Saturday Silliness, and I'd hate to disappoint you twice in one week. Okay, truth be told, I wouldn't really be all that broken up over it. Anyway, I've got some silliness for you. I hope you enjoy it. If not, too bad. It's all you're going to get.
And because Kathy's back, why don't you take a look and see what funny she's got for you?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I went on a little outing yesterday. I went to the garden section of Home Depot to hit their clearance racks and hit 'em hard. So I guess you could say that Home Depot is to blame. Well, I like to blame them anyway. Oh sure, that orange sign of theirs makes them look all innocent...
But don't be fooled! They suck you in and then force you to do evil things... Or is that just me?
At this point you may be thinking, "Wendy, what in the world are you talking about?"
Well, I'll tell ya.
Oh, yeah. I get sucked in and see all these lovely plants, greatly discounted, and can't help myself. I must buy them and take them home.
Then kill them.
It's not that I try to kill them. I just have two black thumbs. And I hate gardening. Oh, I like the idea of having a lovely garden, I just don't want to be the one maintaining it. Or even planting it. Yes, many of the flowers never even make it out of the pots I've bought them in before they meet their doom. But really? They'd die whether I put them in the ground or not.
Do the plants know what's going to happen to them? I can't be completely sure, but as I left the garden center, I felt a great disturbance in the nursery, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Yeah, kinda like that.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Hey kids! It's time for another Life is Funny blog carnival! What's that? Oh. It's around the corner, first door on the right. We'll wait.
Better? Yeah, thanks for going before we get started. Now back to the carnival. Do you have something to share that's funny? Funny ha-ha or funny strange will do. Something that makes your life a little sillier? A good joke that just needs to be shared? Go ahead and blog about it, then link up below. You know you've got some funny in you.
This post comes to you today thanks/blame to Linda at 777 Peppermint Place because she brought up something I've been beating my head against the wall, trying to find a happy place, to forget. Yeah, thanks/blame, Linda.
Have you ever heard of death by 1000 cuts? It's a slow, painful and torturous kind of death. Well, my husband has created death by 1000 commercials. What commercials does he use to inflict this cruelty?
Yes, it's the horrible "Free Credit Report" commercials. My daughter and I hate them, but he loves them. And he likes to make sure that we watch them whenever possible, keeping a death grip on the remote. As if that wasn't bad enough, if we aren't in the room with him when one of those commercials comes on, he turns up the volume so loud that it can be heard from any room in the house. Yup, slow, painful and torturous death. It's just wrong that the first word my daughter knew how to spell was F-R-E-E. Poor kid is scarred for life. Do you feel my pain?!
Now, for something more serious. And because I hate those commercials with a passion. Getting your credit report there is not free. Big ol' scam to get you to pay for other things. If you want an actual free credit report, which federal law says you are entitled to, you can go to this site to get started. Seriously people? Don't fall into their little trap - it'll only allow them make more commercials.
Ready to join in on the fun now? Sign up below and don't forget to link back here in your blog post. Bad things happen to people who don't link back. BAD!
I'm going to go rock in a corner now.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Doesn't that just warm your heart? For more grins, why not head over to Kathy's blog and see what else you can find?
Friday, July 16, 2010
Some of you may have noticed that I didn't do a Twitter Ho-down post last week. Some of you are thinking, "Does Wendy ever post?" Hey, I'll have you know that this is my 4th post this week! Hmph. Anyway, I didn't put up a twitter post last week because I wanted to hold on to it so we could all have a Sarah Salter fix this week while she's still in Sudan doing the work God has called her to do. Of course, with her being away, she's not here to stop me from using the "Va-va-voom Sarah" picture that she's using on her alternate twitter account. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. And now... Onward!
I like exercising as much as the next guy. He hates it too. (RT @patrickmarkryan)
I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it. (RT@yerjokingnet)
Alright. I'll be back later. Yes, that's a promise and a threat.
The smell of twitter woke me up this morning.
Time for me to go wake the kiddo up so we can get going. I think I'll poke her with a stick to wake her up. She'll like that.
Scribbled on a wall in a ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere I go." Written below it: "I do not." (RT @funnyoneliners)
Getting my Abba on. I'm a dancing queen. In my own mind, anyway. Sequins anyone?
I may be biased, but that doesn't mean I'm not right.
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
It's so quiet that I can actually hear myself think. No good can come of this. RT @gilesmarie
Okay, I've gotta go help my daughter clean up the playroom. And by help, I mean threaten to throw things away.
CrazyGidgetDog Whine at the door - check. Chase my tail - check. Sniff my butt - check. Man, I've got a busy schedule today.
And then there's my other alter-ego
A little bit longer ones
weightwhat Alright, I'm awake. Now what?
duane_scott I'm pooped.
beckfromfrogandtoad Help! I'm filling out an application and it wants to know what I'm "passionate" about. "Sleeping" seems to lack zest.
weightwhat Just took my first bite of double chocolate zucchini bread. Not bad!
weightwhat I'm back. Feel free to rejoice.
weightwhat Okay, somebody entertain me, quick! You don't want me left to my own devices.
heartcures Oops. I forgot to eat dinner. Skipped right over to dessert. SIGH!
Ironic_Mom So, I want to start writing daily, doing yoga daily + walking daily. Any advice? Clone myself? Lose the kids? Retire?
katdish Did I mention I have a mild phobia of frogs?
~*~ Later... ~*~
weightwhat WARNING! I'm currently writing my 3rd post for the week. Time to start stocking the pantry and loading up on supplies. Bring on the zombies!
And now, for your Sarah Salter fix!
Why yes, I did wait until the end to put up the promised Sarah Salter tweets. That's how I roll. Blame television. Or Katdish. Whatever.