I really need to stop blinking, because every time I do, another week has flown by. What's up with that? I didn't even have enough time for anything funny to happen! Thank goodness I read my bloggy friend, Beki's, blog. Thanks to her, I can scrape something together.
So, over at Beki's blog, which you should totally read, she did her weekend update with a list of things she'd spent her weekend doing. One of the things on her long (Where does she find the time?) list was going to the mall with a friend and watching all the cute, skinny moms going by.
Let me take a moment here to interrupt myself. If I was at the mall, Beki would be one of the cute, skinny moms you'd hear me complaining about. I hateam making plans to lace her food with lard love her, but has she looked in a mirror lately?
Anyway, back to what I was saying. She later said they went to Dairy Queen and she felt guilty about that decision.
Really?
So yeah, I had to leave her the following comment:
Okay, but at the end of those skinny mom's lives do you think they'll say to themselves, "Well, at least I'm dying skinny!"? NO! They'll be saying, "Dang. Should'a had the Dairy Queen."
Now before you skeedaddle on your merry way, I have a list of things for you to do. First, do a Life is Funny blog post of your very own then link it up below with Mr. Linky. Next, go visit Beki's blog and ask her how her clouter is doing. She'll love that. Last, head over to my friend, Marni's, blog and wish her a very happy birthday. Yup, another birthday! While you're there, try to get her to tell you who did her lips for me, huh?
It's been a slow week on the twitter. So slow that I'll be including something in today's post that at first I hadn't intended posting. Sorry/you're welcome.
The one-liners
I have a house full of Girl Scout Cookies. Minus 1. Minus 2. Minus 3...
Huh. I had a package of Girl Scout Cookies sitting here a minute ago and now there's just an empty wrapper. Where'd they go?
And who drank my milk?
Finally got my Life is Funny post up. Hey, I gave up timeliness for Lent, remember?
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to craving KFC. (RT @badbanana)
I'm following you. Not in a creepy, behind-you-in-the-parking-lot way, but in an excited-to-read-your-random-thoughts way.
When I see a man with a beard, mustache & glasses, I think, there's a man who took every precaution against someone doodling on his picture. (RT @funnyoneliners)
A little bit longer ones
Helenatrandom @weightwhat Oh if only you said something a little earlier... You know I ALWAYS listen to you....
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Listening to me is the only sensible thing to do. I am the voice of reason afterall.
CandySteele @weightwhat It's people like you that teach me to think on my feet, Wendy. Today, you were a text from RB....
Now aren't you glad you'll have a week to recover? But if you're a glutton for punishment and can't get enough of the tweets, head over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants to see what others have contributed to the Twitter Ho-down.
The other day, I wrote a seemingly normal (for me, anyway) post. Then things got more interesting. I received a comment that was both spam and someone taking offense at my words. The words in question? Tin foil hat. Oh yeah. While I didn't approve the comment (I don't approve of spam. Or Spam, for that matter.), it was just too good to not do something with. So for your reading pleasure, I present... The Comment:
I have a problem with your use of the term, "tin foil hat". Everyone knows that only a steel V2K Cap will protect against mind control weaponry.
Go ahead. Click on the link. Expand your mind. I'll wait here.
Oh yeah, they're out there. And apparently looking for blogs mentioning tin foil hats. And since I have word verification on my comments, I'm guessing that it was a real live person who took offense and wrote this comment.
So, it appears our friend, Jeremy, makes his own special hats. What, tin foil not good enough for ya? It's for more than just covering leftovers, you know.
You can also wrap your favorite 70's band in it to keep them fresh. Hey, could somebody please get Björn more tin foil? Really. He's showing a little too much freshness.
We need our tin foil! Yes, even for making hats. Because those aliens and secret government agencies are out to steal our brainwaves! You know they're out there...
Now, because I'm such a giver (which I remind you of constantly), I've got directions for you on how to make your own tin foil hat. You know you'll need one.
And while you're at it, why don't you make one for your dog, too? That dog has seen way too much to be left unprotected.
Now if you'll excuse me. There's a very large butterfly net with my name on it.
How's your life? Is it funny? And if it is funny, is it funny "ha-ha" or funny "strange"? Either way, how about sharing it with us? We could use a good laugh. Sign up below!
I've been noticing things lately that just seem to defy explanation. I know! How weird is it that there's oddness around me? Anyway, I thought I'd share a few with you because yeah, I'm a giver.
Yesterday on the Stuff Christians Like blog there was the following video. Wow. Just wow.
Who buys this stuff? I mean, really. There must be someone out there buying it. But wait, it comes with wooden roses? Well why didn't you say so in the first place?! Where's my phone...?
Not long ago my husband went to the pistol range for some target practice.
When he came home, he showed me his paper target. I noticed that at the bottom of the paper, in tiny letters, was a warning to make sure of the target you're shooting at before you shoot. Okay, is it just me, or does this seem like something that should be in big, red letters that are not 100 feet away? And if you could read those tiny letters at that distance, don't you think you'd also be pretty sure what you're shooting at? Huh eagle eye?
I was out in my garage last week and happened to look over at an area where my husband keeps our emergency stuff (Hey, are you prepared for 3 days?). Then what caught my eye on the shelf?
So, clearly, we are prepared for power outages, floods, earthquakes and zombie attacks. You never know when you'll be attacked by the undead, you know.
Okay, one last thing. As some of you may know, I live in the Pacific Northwest, home of flannel, pine trees and...
...bicycles flying over your head. These signs just popped up around a new trail that went in. The old trails don't have this sign, so apparently you're safe there. But if you dare to take the new trail, just know that there are bicycles over your head. I don't see a picture of a basket carrying E.T. in the picture, so as of now, I still don't know what's making these bikes fly. Hey, does that picture of that pedestrian look like he's walking faster than normal?
So there's a little glimpse into my world and the things that make even me wonder. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make myself a tinfoil hat and rock back and forth in the corner trying to find a happy place.
Happy Saturday everyone! And what would Saturday be without some silliness? A waste of a Saturday, that's what it would be! For your viewing pleasure, I present you with one of my all-time favorite commercials. Oh, how I love this commercial...
If anyone knows where I can get my hands on a night vision tiara, please let me know. I just know it would make my life complete!
Have some Saturday Silliness to share? Or just want another chuckle? Head over to Happy At Home for more fun. She's got a comic strip there that I'm totally stealing... :o)
Yes, truly an exciting week on the Twitter. Does life get much better than that? But before you go, how about some birthday wishes for Jason (@br8kthru)? Yup, he's another year older. And maybe if we're nice to him, he won't reproduce anymore. Need I remind you of br8kdish?
It's time, once again, for the Life is Funny blog carnival! You're life is funny. I can tell just by lookin' at ya. Why don't you sign up below and tell us about it?
My friend, Sarah, sent me the following video the other day and it's just too good not to pass on. Especially since yesterday was Valentine's Day and I'm guessing there are some husbands out there who, well, were clueless. Perhaps the Marriage Translators could help in the future so you men won't spend the night before Valentine's Day standing in the local convenience store wondering if your wife would rather have the motor oil or beef jerky as a gift. That's right men, put them both down and step away. This is good advice and you'll be thanking me later.
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