Life is Funny - Look! A Pirate!

I know.  It's been a long time since I've written a Life is Funny post.  I guess my life just hasn't been all that entertaining lately.  But this weekend, I had a "why doesn't this happen to anyone else" kind of experience.


I became a pirate for a day.

Okay, that's not what brings up the whole "why" question.  I'm sure lots of people become pirates for a day.  My story starts at how it happened. 

The offender 

Oh sure.  It looks all innocent.  And no, I'm not allergic to peanuts.  I was just sitting there, minding my own business, shelling and eating peanuts.  That's when it happened.  The peanut attacked.  As I cracked a shell, a piece of it came flying at me and went straight for my eye.  Who knew peanut shells had such good aim?  But it managed to lodge itself in my eye nicely.  Try as I might, it didn't seem to want to come out.  So off to the urgent care I went.

Apparently, peanut shell attacks are not all that common.  No one at the urgent care had ever heard of it.  And my telling of the story brought stunned silence followed by giggles.  And yes, even the doctor, who looked to be in his mid-70's, was not immune to the giggling. Yeah.  I'm a medical oddity.

Turns out I scratched the heck out of my eye.  And that, dear friends, is what led me to piracy.  I got to wear a giant eye patch until this morning. 

My ever supportive family felt the need to point and laugh at me all day.  There were mentions of me needing a hat and a parrot.  I should have made them walk the plank. 

Will this stop me from eating peanuts in the future?  Nope.  But next time, I'll be more prepared...

Life is Funny - Ben & Jerry's loves me

I love a good bargain. I really do. But nothing thrills me to the core like free stuff. And free ice cream?! What, have I died and gone to Heaven? Oh yeah. And tomorrow is Ben & Jerry's annual Free Cone Day. They're doing it for my birthday because they love me. They don't actually know me, but they love me. And they show their love with free ice cream.

Anyway.

So I'll be having my free scoop in the afternoon. And again in the evening. Possibly a few times in between. Don't judge me. It's ice cream. If there was more than one Ben & Jerry's around here I'd make the rounds and have more free ice cream. Like that one time...

Back in the day, I used to live in Southern California. My best friend "R" lived nearby and she's all about the free stuff, just like me. Baskin Robbins usually does some kind of free thing once a year, too, and one year they were doing free Cappuccino Blasts. Mmmm... Coffee and ice cream... And the best part? There were Baskin Robbins all over the place down there!

So R and I hatched a plan.

We mapped out all the Baskin Robbins parlors in the area. There was a 3 hour time window in which they were giving out the free Blasts. We hit those parlors and hit 'em hard! Then we went and made the rounds again. Oh yeah, we were good.

But did you know that they put real coffee in the Cappuccino Blasts? Strong coffee. With lots of caffeine.

I think it was a few days later before I was able to sleep again. There's something to be said for bouncing off the walls, you know. And yes, I'd do it again. Because cheap is good and free is even better.

So go on out and get your free scoop. Maybe even make the rounds. Who could ask for a better birthday celebration? Mmmmm... Ice cream...

In which the Big Bad Wolf makes a life change

Brace yourself. This is actually a Life is Funny post. Will miracles never cease? Okay, before you go thinking I've given up on my slacking ways, this post is pretty much from my 8 year old nephew. He wrote a story for his class that made me laugh so much that I just had to share it. I'm sure I don't know how he comes by his humor...

"Once apon a time ther was three pigs. 1 pig had a straw house. The 2 pig had a stick house. The 3 pig had a brick house. And a wolf blow the 1 house in. The wolf blow the 2 house in. The wolf tryed blowing the 3 house in but the wolf cod not. So the wolf said I will eat cow from now on. The end."

*snort*

Life is Funny - the Christmas Edition

Last year, our neighbors decorated a tiny little tree in their yard that's right at the entrance to our street. I wrote about it here and again here. Why not go back and read those posts so you're up to speed? No really. Go on. I'll still be here waiting for you.

We never really knew what the neighbors thought of the mysterious adding of Christmas ornaments to their tree. I'm guessing they never knew who even did it. So my daughter and I were pretty happy this year when we saw that they had put all the decorations back on the tree that we had added on last year. Of course, we took this as an open invitation to add more this year...

By the time we were done with it, I think I heard that poor little tree begging for mercy under the weight of the ornaments... Good thing the tree is still growing - it'll give us a chance to keep up this sneaky little tradition of ours! I wonder if the neighbors will ever figure out that it's us...

Did I ever tell you that I know Santa? Yup, I do. He comes to my sister's annual gingerbread house party and he's wonderful!

What's not common knowledge about Santa is that he's a church pastor. True. And every year at the party, he tells all the kids about St. Nicholas and then tells them about Jesus being the real reason we celebrate Christmas. Don't you just love Santa?

Not all of you know that I've started another blog called Wendy Darling Ltd. I've done a post over there today about how "Christmas" has become a bad word. Why not hop on over and take a read?

Life is Funny - The mind of Wendy

There have been things floating around in my brain lately. Unrelated things. Things that may or may not be understood by seemingly normal folk. Why? Because it's my brain. 'Nuff said. So, without further ado...

Hi, my name is Wendy and I'm 43½ years old. That ½ is very important. Just ask my now 8½ year old. Yup, she just had her ½ birthday. She even had a countdown to it on her whiteboard. Do you remember they days when you'd add on ½ to your age? When did we stop doing that? I'm thinking I might start adding it back on again. Keeps people wondering.

We had a nice little snowfall last week. Where we live, we don't always get snow that actually sticks, so it's a treat. For me and my daughter, anyway. My husband? Not so much. He's very Grinchy that way. It doesn't stop him from going out and playing in the snow with the kiddo and dog though. And by "playing," I mean "pelting each other with as much snow as possible."

The kiddo after getting pelted

Crazy Gidget Dog after getting pelted

And my husband after getting pelted.

You know who didn't get pelted? The one holding the expensive camera. Until I put it down, of course. Then it was open season on Wendy. This just in: Snow is cold. You know, in case you were wondering.

Have you seen these commercials?

Is it just me, or would anyone else get a complex if an air freshener went off whenever you walked past it? Do I offend?! Okay, maybe a bit...

So, what's been on your mind this week?

Life is Funny - Number 3's

Before we go any further...

Moms totally get this. Poop explosions. How does such a tiny little body hold so much poop?! When I was a baby, my parents couldn't leave the house without at least two changes of clothes for me. And I'm not just talking about tops and bottoms, they had to bring extra shoes and socks, too. Because without fail, as soon as we'd leave the house, there would be a number 3 that would fill every nook and cranny within 5 yards of my little butt. The stories are legendary and many. And although I can't prove it, I believe that my mom wished upon me a child who would do the same thing.

She got her wish.

My daughter was a butt explosion waiting to happen, preferably at the most inopportune time. Waiting in line for a picture with Santa? Check. Mommy just used the last diaper while out running errands? Check. In the middle of a diaper change when her legs were pulled up in the air? Check. Don't think that I didn't pass along a mother's wish to my daughter. Yeah.

So, what number 3 stories do you have to tell? Feel free to put them in the comment section. Or better yet, blog about it and link it up to my blog carnival below! And don't forget to link back here, huh? Don't make me wish number 3's on you.

Life is Funny - Raisins? Not so much

Life is Funny, folks! You know it is. How has your life been funny this week? Why don't you blog about it and share it with the rest of us? Just link up below. And hey, don't forget to link back here, huh? It's the right thing to do.

Okay, so I'm doing a repost today. There was some raisin talk floating around not too long ago, and I felt it was important to explain my stance on raisins once again. And oddly enough, the post I'm reposting is one of the most popular ones that people get to after googling things like "do raisins go bad." Let me just say that yes, they do go bad. The moment they become raisins. Raisins are evil! It's what happens when grapes go bad... Now, on to the post!

I was reading the blog "i have to say" today, and there was a post about picking the raisins out of raisin bran cereal. I'll be the first to jump on that bandwagon! I, too, would pick the raisins out. I don't know why we couldn't just have bran cereal. Why must I be tortured with raisins?

When I was in college, my raisin picking became legendary. There was a 24-hour restaurant called Frimple's that my friends and I would go to at all hours of the night. They had these yummy, massive cinnamon rolls.

Okay, maybe not quite that big, but still huge. They were so wonderful, except for one small problem. They were packed with raisins. Raisins that you couldn't see unless you dissected the cinnamon roll. So, what's an Anti-Raisinite to do? I ordered an extra plate for the raisins and let the dissection begin. My skill at removing all the raisins was beyond compare. People couldn't help but stare in awe at my extra plate with the mountain of raisins on top. I could have fed a small country with all those evil little things. But not a one made it into my mouth. *sniff* I'm so proud of my collegiate achievement!

Life is Funny - You want to put what? Where?

It's time for the Life is Funny blog carnival! C'mon people, you know your life is funny. Blog about it and sign up below! We're all waiting here with bated breath to see what you have to say. Or is it bait breath? Whatever. Sign up below!

I am the Queen of Medical Testing. Yup, it's been one medical test after another around here. Some of you may remember the case of the huge growth on my face. In case you didn't see it on the Twitter, the evil thing was not cancerous. Then there was the test that left me setting off Geiger counters and wondering if poop could glow. But last Monday was the granddaddy of 'em all.

Yup, I got to have a colonoscopy. For those of you who don't know just how a colonoscopy works, I've spent hours searching for a video that explains it perfectly.

Oh yeah, it was fun. You know what else was fun? Doing the prep for it. You don't get to eat anything the day before the procedure. That doesn't seem like it would be that big a deal until you're told that you CAN'T eat. Suddenly, all you can think of is food. But the really good part comes at night. You see, a person needs to be really cleaned out to have a colonoscopy done. So, you have to drink this vile liquid every 15 minutes for an hour, preferrably while hovering near a toilet, to get your colon clean as a whistle.

Well, that's what's supposed to happen anyway.

Yeah.

I guess my nether regions weren't quite as sparkly as they needed to be once they got the camera in there. And really? How is there enough money in the world to entice someone into giving THAT test? Anyway, once I came to again, my doctor gave the the news that I'd have to get it done again in a few months. And this time, I'd have to do three days of prepping for it. Oh yeah, someone needs to pinch me. I have to say, I'm not terribly thrilled about having to get it done all over again. I'm not a Muppet, people! *sigh* If anyone finds my dignity, could you please let me know? Thanks.

Life is Funny - Blog Libs

Okay, want to have some fun? Steph over at Red Clay Diaries did a blog post in which she made up Blog Libs. You know, like Mad Libs, only bloggier. And hilarity ensued. So for today's post, I'm sharing the Blog Libs I came up with. Enjoy!

Wow! It’s been a gazillion days since I last posted! I am such a slacker! No really, THIS time I have a good excuse: I was too busy working on armpit farts to write. And now I have so much to tell you that I don’t know where to start!

For example: Today was a crack-up. When we got up, LC discovered that Tess had gotten into her Easter bonnet and flatulated on it. Well, as you can imagine, we all just laughed and laughed and laughed!

Then on the way to Doug’s Fill Dirt and Croissants, we saw a Blue Footed Booby. Whoa. Of course, then Scruff frolicked. And really, what do you expect?

I almost crashed, I was laughing so hard.

Great Gumby goobers! (I crack myself up.)

Besides all the fun of today, I’ve been learning loads of important life lessons over the past 3.14 weeks!

Like it’s all in fun until someone ruptures a spleen.

I KNOW. Isn’t that amazing?! You can quote me if you like.

All this craziness has reminded me of the belly button lint that we had when I was 29. I’ll have to save that for its own post, but here’s a hint: sparkly bra snacks were involved.

I gotta go now! I have so much hula dancing to catch up on!

Love, Me

Now doesn't that make you want to rush on over and do your own Blog Libs? Of course it does! And while you're at it, why don't you join in on the Life is Funny blog carnival? Link up below!

Life is Funny - Now with more reposts!

Hold on to your hats, folks! I'm doing a repost! But not just any repost, this is a combination of two old posts in one! I know, you're thrilled. Try to contain yourself though, huh? Why am I doing this repost? Because we went to Great Wolf Lodge again and it fried my brain the joy of it all just bears repeating. And now, on to the repost!

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I was away for a few days. And since I know that you are overcome with curiousity, I'll tell you where I went. Great Wolf Lodge. If you haven't heard of it before, it's a big hotel that has an indoor waterpark just for hotel guests. Cool, huh? There are actually quite a few of them around the country, but we went to the one here in Washington. Let me tell you, this place is a kids' paradise. Magic wands, talking animals, arcades, sweet shop... Oh yeah, and the indoor waterpark.

Waterparks mean bathing suits.

Yes, the poor unsuspecting public had to see me in a bathing suit. Fortunately/unfortunately, when they looked at me they were blinded by the brilliant flash of white that is my skin. Hey, they should have taken the potential danger into consideration when they made their vacation plans.

Anyway, in the middle of the park, way up high, is a 1000 gallon bucket that fills with water. When full, the bucket tips and spills all those gallons of water onto anyone who happens to be below it.

If you're standing under the bucket at the wrong time, your blissful ignorance turns to shock and awe very quickly. Ask me how I know this. Yup. I got clobbered. I have to say, that video hardly does it justice. It's much worse when you're standing under it. And people are pointing and laughing. Yeah. Good times.

My daughter is a big ol' chicken. She doesn't like to try new things and even gets scared of things she's already done before. I had to force her to go down one of the smaller waterslides while on our trip. I'm sure she'll be in therapy for years over that one. I'm such a mean mommy.

If you watched the video, you saw that under the giant bucket of death was a play area with a big contraption you could climb around in. It was so cool! It had water cannons that you could shoot at people below you, small buckets that you could fill and tip, and all kinds of other fun features. It also had a little bridge. It would take about 4 kid-sized steps to get across it. Well, guess who was afraid to cross it? Yup, my daughter. She refused to cross it without me helping her. I refused to go help her. So there she stood, unmoving. I called to her to come across, but she just wouldn't budge.

Well, at least for a while she wouldn't.

You see, while she stood there refusing to move, the giant bucket of water was filling up above her. And while I was safely under a covered roof, she was not. You guessed it. She got pummeled by 1000 gallons of falling water. Being the kind, considerate mom that I am, I stood there and laughed at her. She wasn't too happy with me about that one. But you know what? She came over the bridge on her own after that one. Sometimes it pays to listen to your mother so you don't become blog fodder. Muahahaha!

So, do you have something that makes your life funny? Then how about blogging about it and linking up below? C'mon, you know your life is funny. Don't keep the funny to yourself!

Going to live "on the farm"

Welcome to the Life is Funny blog carnival! Got your blog post ready? Sign up below!

You may or may not remember me doing a blog post about our chickens. We got them just after they were hatched and paid extra to "make sure" they were all females. Yup, we just wanted laying chickens. So we had our chicks and they grew quickly. One in particular, Nugget, grew more than the others. And was meaner. Then one day "she" started to crow...

Yes, there was a rooster in our midst.

After exhausting all ideas of places that Nugget could go to live out a nice, long life and coming up empty, we decided that he would have to "go live on the farm." Yes, that's what you say when you have an 8 year old daughter who loves her chickens. We'd tried explaining, as lovingly as possible, to our little darling why Nugget would have to go away and how he'd be much happier on a farm somewhere.

Then one day, my daughter and I were over at my folks house and the subject of the chickens came up. I told them that Nugget was going to go live on the farm, to which my dad asked, "Does that mean we aren't having a chicken dinner?"

GAAAAAA!!! With my sweet little girl right there! She then looked at me with her big blue eyes and asked, "Yeah! Can we eat Nugget?"

AAAAAAAAAA!!!

So much for protecting her.

Anyway, this weekend Nugget did go to "live on the farm." The farm is the woods behind our house. My husband dug a hole and buried him out there. When he told me about it, he said that he sure hoped that our dog didn't go outside and come back with a dead chicken in her mouth...

Which reminded me of a story. A couple's neighbors were going out of town and asked them if they could watch their pet rabbits while they were gone. They agreed and the next day, the wife went outside to go to the neighbor's house to check on the rabbits. She was stopped short by her dog, standing on the porch with a dead rabbit in its mouth. Mortified, she took the dirty and bloody rabbit away from the dog. She didn't know what to do, but she didn't want her neighbors to know that their dog had killed their pet. She finally decided to take the rabbit inside, wash it up then put it back in the neighbor's rabbit hutch as if nothing had happened.

The neighbors returned from their trip and the couple held their breath. They heard screaming and ran out to see what was going on and try to act innocent. When they got to the neighbor's house, the neighbors told them that they just didn't understand what had happened...

That rabbit had died before they left and they'd buried it in the yard...

What's the problem officer?

Yes, I know I missed last week's Life is Funny post. I could tell you why, but frankly, I'm running out of plausible excuses. But I'm back this week, and aren't you thrilled? If you did a Life is Funny post last week, feel free to link it up (along with this week's, of course) below. Don't want to miss out on these things!

We used to live in Southern California before moving here to beautiful Washington. We actually had our house here for about 3 months before we moved, and my daughter and I made the move up before my husband did. My husband stayed down there and worked a bit longer before he came up, then he made the drive up here on his own.

When it was time for my husband to come up, he loaded up his car with the last of the things that were too precious for the moving van, then began his drive up. Along the way, he made a stop in lovely Weed, CA. Yes, there's a city called Weed, and let me tell ya, they named it well. Anyway, he pulled off the freeway to get some gas and use the facilities. At the gas station, there were some unmarked police cars with unmarked police officers in them. So he pumped his gas and went and did his business.

*insert intermission music here*

Done with his business, he walked back toward his car and locked eyes with one of the cops as he did. As he came around the back of his car, he tapped his car's trunk a couple of times as he rounded it. Clearly this is deviant behavior, because the officer was out of his car, lickity-split, asking my husband if he'd mind opening the trunk of his car. So, my husband opened the trunk. And what did the officer see?

Yup, it was a fra-gee-lay leg lamp. Unfortunately for the officer, it was a bit dark out... The officer jumped back and my husband had to explain to him that no, it wasn't a dismembered body part, it was a leg lamp. I'm thinkin' someone doesn't watch enough Christmas Story. And that someone might have needed a change of underwear after that. Anyway, my husband got to go on his merry way. The leg lamp is now safe in my front window, for all to see. And an officer in Weed has an interesting story to tell his friends. Good times.

Now it's your turn to share. How is your life funny? Link up below! And hey, don't forget to link back here, okay? You wouldn't want to find anything suspicious in your trunk now, would you?

Having a moment

Okay, who's got something funny to share? C'mon, you know you do! How about blogging about it and linking up the the carnival below? Don't keep the funny to yourself!

Okay, so I found this article the other day and just had to share it. I laughed, then I laughed some more. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Okay, now I'll be needing some Kleenex. *snort*

Well, it's your turn now. Don't forget to link up back to my blog because I have a gun, and I know how to use it!

Sweet dreams aren't made of this

Disclaimer: Blame for today's post can be placed squarely on the shoulders of Steph and Ginny. All characters appearing in this work are factual, even if not really personally involved. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely deliberate. This is my story.

Dreams are funny things. Sometimes they are just a crazy mish mash of things your subconcious throws together. Sometimes they reflect the things that have happened during your day. And sometimes, they're there to snap you back into reality because of what's going on at that very minute. Confused? Let me illustrate...

The other night, while tucked warm in my bed, it wasn't visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. No, it was clearly bodily functions at the center of this dream. Specifically, the need to pee. Yes, I said pee. In my dream, I had to go so badly it felt like my bladder would burst. Unfortunately, all the bathrooms in my house were either taken or not working, I'm not sure which. But I was in great pain from a fullness of bladder and was desperate. It was at this point in the dream that I spotted the dishwasher and thought, "Hey, that has a drain in it!" So I opened up the dishwasher and was backing my rear end into it to find relief. It was at this point in the dream that my husband walked in to the kitchen and saw me, backside firmly planted in the dishwasher, peeing. As I explained to my husband what I was doing, the dishwasher started to overflow. I had visions of the Sorcerer's Apprentice part of Fantasia going through my head as I awoke.

Yes, my dream was trying to tell me something. No, not that my dishwasher has more uses than I'd originally thought. That I had to go to the bathroom. Badly. Thankfully, I made it to the bathroom, doing the Potty Two-step along the way. All was right with the world again. But I'm still eyeing my dishwasher suspiciously.

So, how has your life been funny lately? How about doing a blog post about it and linking up below? Make sure to link back here, too. People that don't link back have bad things happen to their dishwashers...

Um, those aren't my handcuffs

Is your life funny? I'm guessing yes, it is. So how about giving us something to point and laugh at laugh with you about? Write up a blog post and link it below, huh? All the cool kids are doing it.

Okay, today's post is a re-print. Hey, you probably haven't read it, so quitcher belly achin'. That being said... Enjoy!

Gina (who is, sadly, no longer blogging) left me a very funny comment on another post that I can't stop laughing about. Go ahead and read it, I'll wait.

Done?

So, that got me thinking about handcuffs and it reminded me of something I did when I was little. My dad used to be a police officer, so of course, he had handcuffs. And what kid doesn't love to play with handcuffs? Unfortunately, I wasn't supposed to play with them. But they just called to me...

One day when my parents were out in the front yard, I got a hold of the handcuffs. And did I put them on my wrists? Of course not! I put them on my ankles. Tightly. Hey! They wouldn't come off! I knew that I shouldn't have been playing with them, but I didn't want to get into trouble, so what did I do? I hid under a table and hoped that they wouldn't notice me. In my young mind, it was a brilliant plan. It might have been a better plan if that table had had a tablecloth on it. Yes, I was caught immediately. Yes, I got in trouble. Maybe if I had been wearing a long skirt and just took very small steps... Or hopped... No, I'm sure that wouldn't have worked either.

Well, I learned my lesson. Don't play with handcuffs unless you've got the key. What? Did you think I'd say "follow the rules," or something like that? Nah. Too much good blog material comes from not following the rules. ;o)

The following video is probably a PG, but you might want to make sure there are no little eyes around. Less 'splaining that way.

Okay, now it's your turn. Bring on the funny! Then sign up below with your blog post. And don't forget to link back to here, huh? You don't want to face my wrath now, do you?

Life is Funny - Death by 1000 commercials

Hey kids! It's time for another Life is Funny blog carnival! What's that? Oh. It's around the corner, first door on the right. We'll wait.

Better? Yeah, thanks for going before we get started. Now back to the carnival. Do you have something to share that's funny? Funny ha-ha or funny strange will do. Something that makes your life a little sillier? A good joke that just needs to be shared? Go ahead and blog about it, then link up below. You know you've got some funny in you.

This post comes to you today thanks/blame to Linda at 777 Peppermint Place because she brought up something I've been beating my head against the wall, trying to find a happy place, to forget. Yeah, thanks/blame, Linda.

Have you ever heard of death by 1000 cuts? It's a slow, painful and torturous kind of death. Well, my husband has created death by 1000 commercials. What commercials does he use to inflict this cruelty?

Yes, it's the horrible "Free Credit Report" commercials. My daughter and I hate them, but he loves them. And he likes to make sure that we watch them whenever possible, keeping a death grip on the remote. As if that wasn't bad enough, if we aren't in the room with him when one of those commercials comes on, he turns up the volume so loud that it can be heard from any room in the house. Yup, slow, painful and torturous death. It's just wrong that the first word my daughter knew how to spell was F-R-E-E. Poor kid is scarred for life. Do you feel my pain?!

Now, for something more serious. And because I hate those commercials with a passion. Getting your credit report there is not free. Big ol' scam to get you to pay for other things. If you want an actual free credit report, which federal law says you are entitled to, you can go to this site to get started. Seriously people? Don't fall into their little trap - it'll only allow them make more commercials.

Ready to join in on the fun now? Sign up below and don't forget to link back here in your blog post. Bad things happen to people who don't link back. BAD!

I'm going to go rock in a corner now.

Life is Funny - Food is sneaky

My daughter and I are plagued with an eating problem. You see, when we eat, the food does whatever it can to not go into our mouths. Yes, I blame the food. Food is very sneaky, you know.

These days, it's just not a meal unless some of it has dropped on me. My family has stopped telling me when I've been the victim of a food attack, and instead just say, "It's a meal!" Unfortunately for me, my favorite sandwich is a French Dip. Yeah, there's no walking away from that meal without au jus carnage. The other night we went out for Mexican food. Somehow, I managed to get a blob of refried beans on my neck. My neck! How does that even happen? Clearly the food was going for my jugular.

As I said though, this food curse is not limited to me. Yes, it's gone after my daughter, too. The food makes her eat it from the center instead of the edges. The result is food covering both sides of her cheeks almost back to the ears. But sometimes, the food is even more devious. The other day, I took my daughter to Costco, one of her favorite places. Why? The samples, of course! One of the samples this day was the mini chocolate croissant bites. I know, yummy, huh? So they took these already small bites and cut them in half to make a sample. Sounds easy enough, right? Yeah. As is normal for us, I did a mouth check on my daughter after she ate it. And also, as normal, there was food on either side of her mouth. I told her to clean it off and we continued walking. When we got to the front of the store, she turned and I saw the other side of her face. Cheek to ear were covered in chocolate. But wait! There's more! She had chocolate up on her forehead starting right above her eyebrow. How? The world may never know. But there it was. Of course by this time, it had dried nicely, so my daughter had to endure Mommy spit to get it off. We then went and had slices of Costco pizza, which ended up everywhere. But it turns out that the mini chocolate croissant bite was not yet done with my daughter. Somehow, even though she was standing up when she had the sample, chocolate had fallen and attached itself to her shorts. The exact place on her shorts that she managed to rest her hand. So the chocolate smearing went on. Unbelievable!

Eating is an adventure with us. On the upside though, we've always got a snack for later somewhere on our person. On the downside, napkins don't stand a chance against us. Sometimes, only a firehose will do.

Ready to join the Life is Funny carnival? Just do a post on your blog about how your life is funny, a joke or whatever. See how easy I am? Just make sure you link it up to my blog and put the link to your post below with Mr. Linky. Just don't give Mr. Linky any food while you're there. Watching him eat is just not pretty.

Life is Funny - My Peeps

We had a new delivery this week in the Weight...What? household. Baby chicks! They came in the mail. Yes, in the mail. I went to the post office to pick up a little peeping box. And they are the cutest little things!

My daughter is smitten. If she's awake and home, she wants to be with the chicks. Who can blame her? Look at those little faces and fluffy bodies! And they're so entertaining to watch! We have one who has big dreams of escaping the box. She stares up at the top of the box, then suddenly leaps into the air. No, she's not even close to making it out, but she keeps trying. The other chicks freak out every time that one makes an attempt. Pretty funny to watch.

So as I mentioned, the chicks are kept in a box here. At first we had the box in the laundry room on the counter (to keep them away from a very interested dog). While up there, my daughter wasn't able to get to them to pick them up, so I was on pick-up duty. It became a joke around here that I was "The Claw" because I was always reaching in and grabbing them.

Oh, and their names? Marshmallow (Peep), Nugget and Noodle. 'Cuz that's how we roll around here.

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Life is Funny - That's a strange souvenir

Way back when I was in 6th grade, my family went on a cruise to the Caribbean. Imagine my surprise when Julie McCoy and Gopher were nowhere to be seen. What was up with that? Anyway, it was our first cruise and it was lovely.

One of the activities that they offered at the different ports was snorkeling. You could rent your gear on the boat and they even gave you a snazzy t-shirt to go along with it that said "Dive In" on the back. That being the decided upon activity, my parents grabbed their gear and we were on our way.

Something I should point out here, that my mom is fair skinned. Very fair skinned. And it's awfully sunny and hot in the Caribbean. So she did what we pale folks often do and wore her t-shirt into the water to try to block out as much sun as possible. So we spent a lovely day on the beach.

Did you know that you can get sunburned through fabric? Yeah. My mom found that out the hard way. But wait! There's more. The t-shirt that she got sunburned through? It was the "Dive In" shirt she had gotten earlier. Only the lettering on the shirt was able to block the sun. So when my mom took the t-shirt off, on her very red back were the white words "Dive In." Nice. I wish we had pictures of that...

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Life is Funny - Blame Steph

I had planned on writing about a different topic, but once I saw what Steph wrote (she has a penchant for poo), I decided to go in another direction. Feel free to blame her for this post.

When I was a baby, my parents couldn't take me out without having a couple of changes of clothes for me. Shoes, too. Yes, I had a special way of not only filling my diaper, but having it go up my back and all the way down into my shoes. And in case you're wondering, yes, my daughter did pay me back in full for that. With interest. Anyway, I was a pooping machine.

One day, my mom took me into the bedroom to change my diaper and laid me down on the changing table in the corner of the room. In the other room (because my dad never changed a diaper *insert guilt here*), my dad heard a shriek and then laughter. He came into the room to find my mom holding my legs up in the air, mid-change, and a large amount of poop dripping down the wall my rear end was facing. Explosive. That's what it was. It's a good thing babies are cute, huh? And no, that didn't entice my dad into changing any diapers in the future. Go figure.

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