Friday, December 3, 2010

The Twitter Ho Ho Ho-down


Welcome to the Twitter Ho-down! Why not wrap up in your Snuggie and sit a spell?

The one-liners

I have only one more Christmas gift to purchase. Go ahead, be jealous. Now, if I can just remember where I hid everything...

I'm not mooning you. I'm turning the other cheek. (RT @funnyoneliners)

It isn't that I'm not a people person. It's just that I'm not a stupid people person. (RT @funnyoneliners)

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen - "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

Guess what? It's talk like a ninja day! So just....shut up. (RT @apodixis)

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. (RT @vvdenman)

I keep dropping tiny little seed beads on the floor. It'll be fun finding those over the next couple of weeks with my bare feet. Yeah.

Me: Since you snuck one tonight you can't have a cookie tomorrow. Toddler: Can I have one yesterday? (RT @WritingJoy)

My daughter just woke up and came to sit on my lap for our morning snuggle time. Best time of the day.

Haiku for Swagbucks? / Would I jump through hoops for that? / Hand over that hoop. #ttptp

RT @vvdenman RT @susanisaacs: Thomas Kinkade toilet paper: Stick the painter of light where the sun never shines.


Someone googled "gagging fart" to get to my blog. What did they find?

Did everyone hear my exciting announcement earlier today? I ordered a Veggie Tales Nativity set. And there was much rejoicing.

The ones that are a little bit longer

weightwhat @katdish Are you feeling all rested after your long trip back?

katdish @weightwhat Yesh. Now if I could get motivated to decorate for Christmas. Bah, humbug.

weightwhat @katdish Maybe you should just have the kids do it this year? If they're not there for slave labor, then why would we have kids?

The_BMG I wish places other than pizza and Chinese delivered.

SBeeCreations @The_BMG We have a burrito place that delivers but only very recently (it's also located in a gas station)

weightwhat @SBeeCreations How very appropriate... *snort*

The_BMG Our Barney that plays songs has a glitch so he gets stuck at the same spot in the same song. It's weird. And creepy.

weightwhat @The_BMG It's Barney. What did you expect?

katdish And as my mother would say, "This traffic is THE SUCKS!"

weightwhat @katdish Your mother has a way of putting things into perspective, doesn't she?

heartcures First dose of steroids done. In a few hours I'll feel like lifting houses & operating heavy machinery. Praying they resolve this back pain.

weightwhat @heartcures Will you start talking like Hans and Franz?

Hans & Franz Pictures, Images and Photos

katdish Technical question: What are those floaty things called on fishing nets and crab pots?

weightwhat @katdish You mean they're not called 'floaty things'? Huh.

katdish Weather stripping needs to be replaced on the back door. The wind is blowing thru it. Sounds like a giant kazoo.

weightwhat @katdish On the upside, you have a musical house! On the downside? It's kazoo music.

katdish Tomorrow, I'll be posting a story of 2 blue herons & the political ramifications of said birds. Yeah, perhaps I need to get back on my meds

weightwhat @katdish Please don't. It's much better entertainment for us this way.

duane_scott I simply don't have the energy to explain myself and my weird antics sometimes. Am I the only one?

weightwhat @duane_scott Have you met me?

katdish I wonder if this involves mirrors and large binder clips.


weightwhat @katdish Or the suggestion of hanging out with more blind people.

katdish @weightwhat that works too.

weightwhat @kelybreez Kely Kely bo bely, banana fana fo fely, fe fi mo mely - Kely!

kelybreez @weightwhat Wendy Wendy bo bendy, tialigo tendy, tie legged, toe legged, bow legged Wendy!

weightwhat @kelybreez Hey! I'm not bow legged! Mostly.

The ones that are even longer

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Listed my butt

SBeeCreations @weightwhat dang it, BabyBee hit the computer. Listed my butters. BUTTERS! sigh

weightwhat @SBeeCreations You might have gotten more business the other way... *snort*

SBeeCreations @weightwhat *snort* maybe, especially at those prices

weightwhat @SBeeCreations You may be cheap, but you're not free.

katdish Is there any lower form of reality television than televising small claims court?

weightwhat @katdish Have I mentioned that I was on People's Court? Yeah.

katdish @weightwhat NOOOOO! Really?

weightwhat @katdish Yup. With Judge Wapner. No autographs, please.

WritingJoy Any veteran parents out there have suggestions for teaching my defiant toddler to respect authority?

weightwhat @WritingJoy Shock collar?

WritingJoy @weightwhat Let me rephrase that. Any veteran parents who haven't been visited by Child Protective Services...

weightwhat @WritingJoy Oh sure, now you put up parameters.

redclaydiaries Charlie just got home from picking up CSA meat. He's making headcheese again. GAAA.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I thought he loved you. What's up with that?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Clearly I was mistaken.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Should we all pray for a power outage out your way?

And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

WinLiannefield @weightwhat I got leftover turkey, yes I do, I got leftover turkey, how 'bout you?!?

weightwhat @WinLiannefield I do! But not enough. Next year, I'm lookin' for a 50 lb. bird.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Would that fit in your oven?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Where there's a will, there's a way.

WinLiannefield @weightwhat Ours was 22 lbs. It is/was obscene. I imagine it tootling around its barnyard on a power scooter before its demise.

weightwhat @WinLiannefield With flags on the back?

WinLiannefield @weightwhat No, more like Yosemite Sam "Back Off" mud flaps.

weightwhat @br8kthru I'm suffering from serious Twinkletoes withdrawls. You should be on the twitter more so you can fix that.

br8kthru @weightwhat I'm so limited w/ my phone. I miss you too! So sad. We should throw a pity party.

weightwhat @br8kthru I'll bring the black balloons of mourning.

br8kthru @weightwhat we need a poster of eeyore & some sad movies too.

weightwhat @br8kthru And I'm thinkin' we should drop some ice cream cones on the floor, just for good measure.

br8kthru @weightwhat totally. This pity party is really cheering me up. That almost never happens!

weightwhat @br8kthru Are we supposed to be cheering you up? I'm confused now...

br8kthru @weightwhat I'm a whirling tornado of emotions. I don't know what's going on.

weightwhat @br8kthru Welcome to my world.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat are you planning a Ho-down this week?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Yes, there will be a ho-down this week. You're even in it. Happy?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Yes, yes I am

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Why do you ask?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Wanted to know if I should look forward to it this week or if my hopes were going to be dashed against the cliffs of despair

weightwhat @SBeeCreations No, just the Cliffs of Insanity.

There ya go. Your weekend can start now that you've read the Ho-down. Doesn't that make you feel better?


lifeshighway said...

why yes, I feel fresh and ready to tackled the weekend.

Casey said...

Very funny stuff. And... wow.. you are on Twitter a lot. A whole lot. :)

Anonymous said...

Nobody does a twitter recap like you, Wendy. So funny. Also, I appreciate you baiting me into making the post this week. It just keeps hope alive for me. :)