The Twitter Ho Ho Ho-down

Welcome to the Twitter Ho-down! Why not wrap up in your Snuggie and sit a spell?

The one-liners

I have only one more Christmas gift to purchase. Go ahead, be jealous. Now, if I can just remember where I hid everything...

I'm not mooning you. I'm turning the other cheek. (RT @funnyoneliners)

It isn't that I'm not a people person. It's just that I'm not a stupid people person. (RT @funnyoneliners)

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen - "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

Guess what? It's talk like a ninja day! So just....shut up. (RT @apodixis)

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. (RT @vvdenman)

I keep dropping tiny little seed beads on the floor. It'll be fun finding those over the next couple of weeks with my bare feet. Yeah.

Me: Since you snuck one tonight you can't have a cookie tomorrow. Toddler: Can I have one yesterday? (RT @WritingJoy)

My daughter just woke up and came to sit on my lap for our morning snuggle time. Best time of the day.

Haiku for Swagbucks? / Would I jump through hoops for that? / Hand over that hoop. #ttptp

RT @vvdenman RT @susanisaacs: Thomas Kinkade toilet paper: Stick the painter of light where the sun never shines. http://bit.ly/giN4Qi

Someone googled "gagging fart" to get to my blog. What did they find? http://tinyurl.com/y6kqsjb

Did everyone hear my exciting announcement earlier today? I ordered a Veggie Tales Nativity set. And there was much rejoicing.



The ones that are a little bit longer

weightwhat @katdish Are you feeling all rested after your long trip back?

katdish @weightwhat Yesh. Now if I could get motivated to decorate for Christmas. Bah, humbug.

weightwhat @katdish Maybe you should just have the kids do it this year? If they're not there for slave labor, then why would we have kids?



The_BMG I wish places other than pizza and Chinese delivered.

SBeeCreations @The_BMG We have a burrito place that delivers but only very recently (it's also located in a gas station)

weightwhat @SBeeCreations How very appropriate... *snort*



The_BMG Our Barney that plays songs has a glitch so he gets stuck at the same spot in the same song. It's weird. And creepy.

weightwhat @The_BMG It's Barney. What did you expect?



katdish And as my mother would say, "This traffic is THE SUCKS!"

weightwhat @katdish Your mother has a way of putting things into perspective, doesn't she?



heartcures First dose of steroids done. In a few hours I'll feel like lifting houses & operating heavy machinery. Praying they resolve this back pain.

weightwhat @heartcures Will you start talking like Hans and Franz?

katdish Technical question: What are those floaty things called on fishing nets and crab pots?

weightwhat @katdish You mean they're not called 'floaty things'? Huh.



katdish Weather stripping needs to be replaced on the back door. The wind is blowing thru it. Sounds like a giant kazoo.

weightwhat @katdish On the upside, you have a musical house! On the downside? It's kazoo music.



katdish Tomorrow, I'll be posting a story of 2 blue herons & the political ramifications of said birds. Yeah, perhaps I need to get back on my meds

weightwhat @katdish Please don't. It's much better entertainment for us this way.



duane_scott I simply don't have the energy to explain myself and my weird antics sometimes. Am I the only one?

weightwhat @duane_scott Have you met me?



katdish I wonder if this involves mirrors and large binder clips. http://plixi.com/p/60324085

weightwhat @katdish Or the suggestion of hanging out with more blind people.

katdish @weightwhat that works too.




weightwhat @kelybreez Kely Kely bo bely, banana fana fo fely, fe fi mo mely - Kely!

kelybreez @weightwhat Wendy Wendy bo bendy, tialigo tendy, tie legged, toe legged, bow legged Wendy!

weightwhat @kelybreez Hey! I'm not bow legged! Mostly.




The ones that are even longer

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Listed my butt

SBeeCreations @weightwhat dang it, BabyBee hit the computer. Listed my butters. BUTTERS! sigh

weightwhat @SBeeCreations You might have gotten more business the other way... *snort*

SBeeCreations @weightwhat *snort* maybe, especially at those prices

weightwhat @SBeeCreations You may be cheap, but you're not free.



katdish Is there any lower form of reality television than televising small claims court?

weightwhat @katdish Have I mentioned that I was on People's Court? Yeah.

katdish @weightwhat NOOOOO! Really?

weightwhat @katdish Yup. With Judge Wapner. No autographs, please.



WritingJoy Any veteran parents out there have suggestions for teaching my defiant toddler to respect authority? http://goo.gl/fb/fxPOX

weightwhat @WritingJoy Shock collar?

WritingJoy @weightwhat Let me rephrase that. Any veteran parents who haven't been visited by Child Protective Services...

weightwhat @WritingJoy Oh sure, now you put up parameters.



redclaydiaries Charlie just got home from picking up CSA meat. He's making headcheese again. GAAA.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I thought he loved you. What's up with that?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Clearly I was mistaken.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Should we all pray for a power outage out your way?




And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

WinLiannefield @weightwhat I got leftover turkey, yes I do, I got leftover turkey, how 'bout you?!?

weightwhat @WinLiannefield I do! But not enough. Next year, I'm lookin' for a 50 lb. bird.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Would that fit in your oven?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Where there's a will, there's a way.

WinLiannefield @weightwhat Ours was 22 lbs. It is/was obscene. I imagine it tootling around its barnyard on a power scooter before its demise.

weightwhat @WinLiannefield With flags on the back?

WinLiannefield @weightwhat No, more like Yosemite Sam "Back Off" mud flaps.



weightwhat @br8kthru I'm suffering from serious Twinkletoes withdrawls. You should be on the twitter more so you can fix that.

br8kthru @weightwhat I'm so limited w/ my phone. I miss you too! So sad. We should throw a pity party.

weightwhat @br8kthru I'll bring the black balloons of mourning.

br8kthru @weightwhat we need a poster of eeyore & some sad movies too.

weightwhat @br8kthru And I'm thinkin' we should drop some ice cream cones on the floor, just for good measure.

br8kthru @weightwhat totally. This pity party is really cheering me up. That almost never happens!

weightwhat @br8kthru Are we supposed to be cheering you up? I'm confused now...

br8kthru @weightwhat I'm a whirling tornado of emotions. I don't know what's going on.

weightwhat @br8kthru Welcome to my world.



SBeeCreations @weightwhat are you planning a Ho-down this week?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Yes, there will be a ho-down this week. You're even in it. Happy?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Yes, yes I am

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Why do you ask?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Wanted to know if I should look forward to it this week or if my hopes were going to be dashed against the cliffs of despair

weightwhat @SBeeCreations No, just the Cliffs of Insanity.

There ya go. Your weekend can start now that you've read the Ho-down. Doesn't that make you feel better?