Did that turkey just tweet at me?

It's Thanksgiving week, so things were a bit slow on the old Twitter for me. Does that mean there won't be a Twitter Ho-down post? Of course not! Why should a lack of content slow me down?

The one-liners

Huh. Is it weird that I was listening to the Clash while driving my minivan?

Gotta run to the bus stop. And in case you're wondering, yes.

Have you ever been in therapy? No? You should try it. It's really easy. The correct answer to every question is: 'Because of my mother." (RT @funnyoneliners)

@makeadiff21 In case you didn't notice, I'm ignoring you. Hmph.
If God hadn't meant for us to overeat on Thanksgiving, He wouldn't have invented elastic waist pants.

A little bit longer ones

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Tongue is rather tasty!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Tongues are for tasting other things, not to taste. Blech. Helen, I fear your meat choices.

The ones that are even longer

CandySteele @BridgetChumbley I think they needed the double dong *prayer* - not dare #keepmouthshutnexttime

weightwhat @CandySteele OH MY! TWSS!

CandySteele @BridgetChumbley ummm...that would be double DOG. Oops. Just made the ho-down

weightwhat @CandySteele Oh yes you did.

BridgetChumbley @CandySteele I'm wiping the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard... couldn't even type! LOL

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Time for a new doctor?

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter Yes, probably. I've only seen this 1 3x now. My old doc actually died last year. Hadn't needed to go since then.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Well, you should probably get used to going to the doc more often. You're not getting any younger, you know. *snort*

redclaydiaries @weightwhat OH NO YOU DI'NT! I'll cut you. Sekoority!

Helenatrandom Shhh....It's the cops over there... just stay calm and look innocent~ what I say to any passengers when I spot a police car...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Really? I yell, "Cops! Duck!" Mostly because there are a lot of ducks around here.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Ah, but there is nothing like telling an elderly relative to "try to look innocent..."

weightwhat @Helenatrandom This isn't the Hungarian side, is it? I'd think they'd be used to it. ;o)

weightwhat @br8kthru Okay Jason, I just have to ask... How are your cockles today? Are they warm?

br8kthru @weightwhat Warm & toasty until I go outside again. I was a little concerned cuz they've been lethargic the past few days- all's well now

weightwhat @br8kthru Hey, don't go neglecting your cockles.

br8kthru @weightwhat cockles, indeed, need to be cared for. You forget them at your own peril. Warm them, I say! & warm them well...

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh, I forgot. I do have one Christmas decoration that's up all year. A leg lamp. In my front window. It's fra-gee-lay.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat A "leg" lamp? Like a reindeer leg? Or a Santa leg?

CandySteele @sarahmsalter from "The Christmas Story" with "you'll shoot your eye out Ralphie"

weightwhat @sarahmsalter You're kidding, right? Please tell me you've seen A Christmas Story.

sarahmsalter @CandySteele I know I'm inviting contempt and derision by saying this, but... I've never seen it.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter We can't be friends anymore. Go watch it and I'll consider taking you back.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat LOL! It isn't even playing this early! YOU CAN'T QUIT ME, WENDY!

SallyHogshead When people type "LOL," what percentage of the time do you think they're actually laughing out loud?

br8kthru @MattTCoNP that's why I refuse to type it & don't use winky faces (I thought, when's the last time I actually winked at someone?)

weightwhat @br8kthru Okay, tell the truth now. You can't wink, can you?

br8kthru @weightwhat Yes, I can wink but it makes me feel like a truck stop waitress which, shockingly, is not what I'm going for

weightwhat @br8kthru Well if you'd stop saying, "Kiss my grits!" every time you winked, you probably wouldn't have that problem.

br8kthru @weightwhat so to the whole winky face thing I say, "KISS MY GRITS!" (you got more than you bargained for w/ that question, huh?)

br8kthru @weightwhat wow, that's scary that we were thinking along the same lines... you may need to enter therapy immediately.

PeterPollock @br8kthru PLEASE do a mashup with your face and a truck stop waitress!

weightwhat @PeterPollock Oooo!!! I'd like to see that mashup, too, @br8kthru!

weightwhat @br8kthru C'mon Jason... You know you want to do a mashup. It'll make your head feel better. Bet it'd warm your cockles, too.

weightwhat @br8kthru - Here - I'll give you a hand:

br8kthru @weightwhat just that pic made me laugh.

weightwhat @br8kthru But did it make you LOL?

br8kthru @weightwhat no just SRB (smile really big)

weightwhat @br8kthru You're difficult to please. TWSS

br8kthru @weightwhat leave my cockles out of this- they refuse to be manipulated...

weightwhat @br8kthru But how do you warm your cockles without them being manipulated?

weightwhat Okay, gotta run. And Jason? I'm hoping to see an @br8kthru /Flo mashup when I return. I don't need to see your warmed cockles though.

I'm sad to say that Jason did not do one of his infamous mashups for me. I know, it's a sad story and there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Feel free to complain to him on Twitter at @br8kthru or his blog. He likes complaining.