Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Silliness


Welcome to the Halloween version of Saturday Silliness! It's the video extravaganza! Why? Because I can't just pick one. Look at it as a "But wait! There's more!" kind of thing. No, you won't get a set of Ginsu knives. Darn it all. Now on to the silliness!

Some funnies:

And the trailer from my favorite movie to watch on Halloween (If you haven't seen 'Lady in White,' you really should go out and rent it. So good!):

Have a fun and happy Halloween everyone! Feel free to send me any Snickers bars your kids don't want!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

How tweet of you to come


It's Friday and you know what that means! No, not that. Guess again. Okay, I'll just tell you. It's the Twitter Ho-down over at Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants! You should play along. It will make your life complete. That is, if by "complete" you mean exactly like it was before.

The one-liners

I'm here! Now what?

2 days until my blogoversary and nothing planned for it. I may need to get a plethora of piñatas.

Everything you ever wanted to know about *ahem* but were afraid to ask: Parenting 101

Just got back from the bus stop, but I'm not in my jammies. Why? Because I fell asleep in my clothes last night. Confused the bus driver.

I'm back. Let the wild rumpus start!

Just got back from the bathroom. My daughter clogged the toilet with what looks like an entire roll of t.p. Her butt's just not that big.

weightwhat @HeatherSunseri Happy Birthday! I'd send you some cake, but I ate it. I can't be trusted around cake.

I've been hitting the Pirate's Booty again. TWSS

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I do like to bore my readers, so that is tempting...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter and @becca_homefront - Oh c'mon you guys. You're plenty funny. I point and laugh at you all the time.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Or perhaps just a few strategically placed whoopie cushions.

My daughter just asked to be put to bed early tonight. Clearly this is the end of days.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Sarah, you can marry more money in 10 minutes than you can make in a lifetime. You might want to cross-stitch it on a pillow.

weightwhat @Brian_Russell Okay, I've got the monkey's in their tutus. Now what?

A little bit longer ones

weightwhat Sitting at the bus stop. Yes, I'm in my jammies. Why do you ask?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I didn't. I assumed it would be too cold where you live to wear a time traveler costume.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I only wear that costume when I'm set to kill, not to stun. We don't need that kind of carnage.

sarahmsalter @becca_homefront I'm picky about the brand, but not how it's hung.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS

PeterPollock Is anyone else having trouble with Intense Debate today?

weightwhat @PeterPollock I always have trouble with Intense Debate, but then again, I'm a lover not a fighter. ;o)

weightwhat @br8kthru Can't hold out with the sweater vest much longer, huh? I hope that doesn't mean moving to the puffy vest next though.

br8kthru @weightwhat My wife has never let me wear 1 of those! She said she had an short-time boyfriend who wore 1 all the time so no puffy vests :(

weightwhat @br8kthru Your wife is wise. You should listen to her. No good can come of puffy vests.

Brian_Russell Boredom strikes exactly when you expect it.

weightwhat @Brian_Russell If you hadn't set the monkeys in tutus free, you wouldn't be having that problem.

br8kthru @weightwhat don't even pretend you don't love me & my offbeat personality!

weightwhat @br8kthru Actually, I think it's more the sweater vest that does it for me.

The ones that are even longer

br8kthru Getting waffles at SE Waffle Co. Appraisal on our house later so trying to keep it clean. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Should we be quiet when you have your waffles?

br8kthru @weightwhat nah, make some noise- I like audience participation. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Hey batter batter batter! Get it? Waffle batter? Yes, I'm preemptively explaining things to you now.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

Helenatrandom @weightwhat When you read it, you will be amazed that Bob still married me! :-0

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Oh, go on! He's blessed to have you! Who else can conjugate in so many languages with him?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat He's pretty good at conjugating as well. wink wink nudge nudge...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Say no more, say no more!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Veni Vidi Vici! RAWR!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Helen! Shouldn't you wait for Bob to get home before you start to conjugate?

Yes, that is 5 minutes of your life that you can't get back. You didn't really need those 5 minutes anyway, did you?

Happy Blogoversary to me!


It's my blogoversary today! Where are my presents? What? There are no presents? What about the plethora of piñatas I was hoping for? Really? Nothing? Hmph. I see how you are...

For today's fabulous blogoversary extravaganza, I've decided to do a "best of" of sorts. Plus a bit extra. Yes, I've searched my blog to find my 3.5 fan's (the .5 fan is kinda wishy-washy) favorites and post 'em again. Why? Because I couldn't come up with anything more original. So, for your viewing annoyment enjoyment, I present the following...

Best new invention

"Bra Snacks"

Best clip art


Best video (it's a two-way tie)

Best post (it's from my "Life is Funny" blog carnival)

"A Little Extra Effort"

The following story is not mine. But it sure seems like something I'd do.


I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office. I had been re-scheduled for early that morning at 9:30 am. I had just packed everyone off to school and it was 8:45 a.m. already. The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure I was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the procedure, as most of us do, I hopped on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he said, "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" But I didn't respond. The appointment was over. I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day went normally - some shopping, cleaning, and the evening meal, etc. At 8:30 that evening, my 14-year old daughter was getting ready to go to a school dance when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom, where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get another one from the cabinet. She called back "No! I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it!"

And for a little bit extra...

"You googled what to get here?"

something funny that everyone needs - Well, of course that would lead to my blog. Where else would it go?

today is what i need to deal with tomorrow is something else - Yes, but what IS tomorrow exactly?

I've gotta get out of here - Take me with you!

earn your mancard back - But you can't have mine. I've had it bronzed.

kosher bra - Yes, but would it be considered meat or dairy? Yup, could go both ways. See the conundrum?

nude dietitians - Wow. Really?

jesus turban - It wasn't a turban, it was a Turbie Twist®. Dries your hair faster.

"snot rash" - How to get it or get rid of it?

ooo a sparkly! - Yes, my blog is very twinkly, very sparkly. Like a holiday.

"I peed my" wet pants - I did not! At least, not this week anyway.

no no bad dog - Gidget! This one's for you!

what gives great happened you r life - Huh?

anti raisinite - Wow, it's like they know me...

I think that's enough for now. I wouldn't want to overwhelm you with too much fabulousness. No, no. No applause. Just throw money.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Parenting 101 - The beginning

It has come to my attention that some of you out there are not yet parents. I figured this out using my keen observation and by reading the following letter:

Dear Wendy,

We are not parents yet, but would like to be. Can you help us?

Desperate to Use Your Parenting 101 Tips

Being the helpful sort that I am, I will give my expert guidance on the subject. How does one *ahem* become a parent in the first place? The following video should explain everything very clearly.

You're welcome.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Life is Funny - The tea party


It's that time again! Who has something funny to share? Do your post and sign up with Mr. Linky below. Don't keep the funny to yourself!

Today's post is not my own work. Hey, I've told you before that bloggers steal stuff. This comes from an email that my mom forwarded to me and it's just too funny not to pass up...


One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 3 years old, and someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift. It was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home. My dad made her sit quietly in another room, so Mom could watch me bring Dad the cup of tea, because I was so cute.

Mom waited, and sure enough, I came walking down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. Mom watches Dad drink from the tea cup.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

So now it's your turn! What have you brought to share with us today?

Saturday, October 24, 2009

For all you single ladies out there (No, it's not what you may think)

Today's Saturday Silliness goes out to all the single gals out there. It's tough to find a good man, isn't it? Well luckily, you've come to my blog and I'm here to help out. What you need is just a little basic instruction to get you on your way to marital bliss. Just watch the following video, and you'll be hearing church bells ringing in no time!

Friday, October 23, 2009

It's not the size of the tweet...


Hello, my name is Wendy and I've been a Twitter Slacker. Again. Yup, been a bit light on the Twitter again. But hey, it saves you from all that extra reading, right? So here ya go. The best and worst of my week on Twitter. You're welcome.

The one liners

I'm early for an appt. Clearly this signals the end of days.

It's raining. In Washington. Crazy, huh?

Pringles and chocolate gelato: The new breakfast of champions.

weightwhat RT @PamperingBeki Please keep your fingers out of my nose. #thingsIneverthoughtIdsay

weightwhat Because the dog doesn't like being poked there. #thingsIneverthoughtIdsay

weightwhat Now tell me again how the glue got THERE? #thingsIneverthoughtIdsay

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley I think everyone will be driving their kids to school while wearing their jammies in the future. I'm a trendsetter.

@makeadiff21 Need to borrow a cattle prod?

Gotta drive the kiddo to school. She missed the bus. Yes, now the school gets to see me in my jammies. How lucky are they?

@Helenatrandom Oh Helen, have I taught you nothing during our time together? Raisins are evil and can only be made moreso.

@br8kthru I'm away for 2 minutes and I come back to see I'm getting blamed for stuff? Really?

@stretchmarkmama Heh heh, she said buttress.

A little bit longer ones

ImAPennyPincher DH is a hard core meatetarian, but I am seriously considering a few meatless dishes a week... suggestions anyone??

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher Yeah. Make meat.

marni71 @weightwhat What's up??

weightwhat @marni71 The sky, the price of gas and the size of my shoes. Stupid big feet.

katdish @Helenatrandom @makeadiff21 @Doallas @BridgetChumbley @billycoffey @HeatherSunseri @br8kthru Thx for the RTs. I'm officially overexposed

weightwhat @katdish Maybe now's a good time to get out that Snuggie then. We wouldn't want you all overexposed.

PuriChristos @weightwhat @katdish ewww

weightwhat Whoa. This bag of Pirate Booty was full just a minute ago.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat What? You're holding a pirate's booty? Isn't that inappropriate?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I bought him dinner first.

@sarahmsalter I love egg nog! I assume Wild Turkey is bourbon? I don't know my likker.

@CandySteele TWSS

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

weightwhat So, how is everyone this morning?

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Did I mention we have sun this morning?? SO happy.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Sun? Is this unusual for where you are?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Well, now that you're here, evidently the sun has come out at @makeadiff21's house. See how powerful you are? ;-)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Well, I am Sweetness and Light™.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Oh, Wendy, we ALL live to be harrassed by you. You are the wind beneath our wings. ::batting eyelashes::

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Truer words were never spoken.

br8kthru @weightwhat when I said make some trouble- I didn't mean harassing me...

weightwhat @br8kthru No, you only thought you meant not to harass you. In actuality, you live for being harassed by me. Denying it will get you nowhere

br8kthru @weightwhat I have been instructed to deny, deny, deny... By whom? that's for me to know & you to find out.

weightwhat @br8kthru Shall it be torture then? Bring out the comfy chair and the soft cushions!

br8kthru @weightwhat Okay, commence the confusion... Now I'm just lost. Was bound to happen really...

weightwhat @br8kthru Must I explain everything?

Feel like you didn't get your fill of tweets? Then head on over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants to see what others have been working on this week.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Life is Funny - the revelation


It's the Life is Funny blog carnival! I know, you're excited. So what are you waiting for? Sign up below and join in on the fun!

My daughter is not a dancer. Never has been. When she was a tiny little thing, the closest thing to dancing she would do was arm movements. I don't know that I've ever known of a baby that doesn't like to dance. It's just odd. I thought she might learn to appreciate dancing as she got older, but no. It's like pulling teeth to get her to dance. I thought that her love for iCarly ("Random Dancing") would change her mind. Not so much. So if I'm going to shake my booty, I'll be doing it by myself. Such a sad story.

There's something else I was thinking about today. My daughter associates church with food. The first thing that comes out of her mouth when we talk about going to church is, "Can I have a doughnut?" She gets excited to go to church, but I'm not sure it's because of church or because of the sprinkle doughnut that she seems to think has her name on it. I may never know the truth.


My daughter doesn't dance and church means food.

I think I may be raising a Baptist.

Now it's your turn! Sign up below and link to your post telling us about how Life is Funny. You'll be glad you did!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Those silly seniors!

It's time for some Saturday Silliness! Today's little ditty was tweeted about by my bloggy friend, Ginny, recently. It was just too good not to pass along! Enjoy!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Tweet Lite: All the calories but half the fun


Another week of Twitter happenings. Yes, it's time for the Twitter Ho-down! I didn't do a whole lot of tweeting this week, so it will be interesting to see what I come up with for this post...

The one liners

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Because I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom AAAA!!! You don't have to yell! I've soiled my armor!

I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here today...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Shut doesn't go up, it closes. :oÞ

I love Twitter.

Okay, who wants to entertain me?

weightwhat RT @SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom I think you overbeat it. Need to leave some lumps. // Now that's advice you don't hear every day.

All I want is to be able to hibernate. Is that really asking too much?

weightwhat @marni71 AAAAA!!! Taxidermy!!!

weightwhat @billycoffey Thanks for the RT! The beef jerky is on it's way.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Don't hurt yourself with all those TWSS's! You've got to pace yourself.

You know what's really great? The sound a dog makes right before she throws up. Know what else is great? Having to clean off danglers.

I'm up waaaaaay too early. Now why don't you just give me a nice paper cut and throw some lemon juice on it?

A little bit longer ones

buzzbyannies @billycoffey I hope not. Waxed eyebrows, manicured nails, mullet and flannel wife beater? I'm just not seeing it.

weightwhat @buzzbyannies Now that sounds like a Walmart shopper.

PamperingBeki I was groped by a yardsale shopper.

weightwhat @PamperingBeki I hope she at least bought you dinner first.

becca_homefront RT @weightwhat Parenting 101: Shopping made easy. You believe me, right? (Best Parenting on the Web)

weightwhat @becca_homefront Were you able to type that with a straight face? ;o)

The ones that are even longer

redclaydiaries Feeling guilty for vegging, I got up. Instantly exhausted. Vegging recommenced.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries You should never neglect your veg. So let it be said, so let it be done.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Thank you. I shall now consider myself ordered to veg. So let it be done.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I have been sitting here for over half an hour trying to think of something spiritual for a Sunday is not happening...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Lo, I have a painful disease in my loins...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Sorry, that is a special verse for dming special followers...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Or for cross-stitching onto a pillow.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat A very special pillow...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Everyone needs a special pillow in their lives.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat If I could cross stitch, mine would say "Like a unicorn without a rainbow is a woman without a man to boss around ..."

weightwhat @Helenatrandom That pretty much says it all right there, doesn't it?

Helenatrandom @br8kthru @weightwhat All she said was that the eyecandy comment wasn't related to @br8kthru or his sweater vest...

br8kthru @sarahmsalter kept saying I was not eye candy- same thing...

weightwhat Oh, and Twinkletoes? You'll always be eyecandy to me.

br8kthru @weightwhat why thank you. I'm bracing for a slam coming, but right now I'll take the compliment.

weightwhat @br8kthru Nope, no slam. Just eyecandy. What kind of candy do you want to be? (fighting the urge to suggest Nerds)

sarahmsalter @br8kthru Do you notice that the one thing we all seem to agree on is that you're candy? We must think you're sweet... ;-)

Helenatrandom @sarahmsalter Well, we also agree that Wendy and I should take over the world...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes, we especially agree about that.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Watch LA NCIS tonight if you can... The guy who plays G is like the least difficult guy to look at on t.v. ! RAWR!


weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes, he is babe-a-licious, but can he rock a sweater vest?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I can't get my dvr to let me watch a different show than what's being recorded. Technical genius I am not.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Can you get your daughter to do it for you? Don't they come out of the womb knowing how to program technologcal things now?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Usually that's the case, but not with my daughter. Maybe I didn't get enough folic acid while I was pregnant.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Maybe you didn't play enough video games while pregnant. You know, like moms who play mozart so the kiddo will have music talent

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Start watching on find out! Do you have COMCAST because he is ONDEMAND! (Did I mention RAWR!?)

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Helen, please stop licking your computer screen. It's only a picture of him, not the real him.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I was only cleaning the screen...

So there you go. A short Twitter post from me. I clearly need to spend more time on Twitter. Maybe next week...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Parenting 101 - Shopping the easy way

There is a chore that brings terror to the hearts of most parents: Shopping. Why? Because they have to bring along little Tommy or Sally, maybe even both, and that's just asking for trouble. There's the whining, the begging, the tantrums... And don't even get me started on the children's behavior. But shopping is a necessary evil because those frozen chicken pot pies and L'Eggs pantyhose are not going to just show up on your doorstep. So what's a parent to do? Well folks, you've come to the right place because I have your solution.


That's right, the claw game. Just stick Junior into the machine while you shop. He/she is completely contained and they have plenty of toys to play with to keep themself entertained. Safety isn't even an issue because, hey, we all know that no one ever wins at those games. Stupid claw won't hold on to anything long enough for you to win. Yes, your precious youngster will be safe and sound until you get back. Once you're done with your shopping, just call for one of the friendly store security personnel to come open up the machine to get your child out. They're always happy to help! Yes, it's a win-win all around. Now go and enjoy that pot pie!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Life is Funny - It's snot funny


Time for more Life is Funny, the blog carnival that makes you realize that your life is funnier than you think. Want to play along? Post something silly on your blog then sign up below on Mr. Linky. How easy is that?

My life has not been feeling very funny today. I've had to carry a roll of toilet paper with me wherever I go because I've used up all the tissues.


Yup, horrible allergies. At least, I hope it's allergies and I'm not getting sick yet again. Not much funny about horrible sinus pressure and a chapped nose, is there? No, no there is not. The snot has clouded my brain and I just couldn't see the funny. But then I remembered a little something from my childhood. One day when I was little, I went to give my mom a kiss...

Mom: That sure was a wet kiss!

Me: That's because my nose is running.

So you see, sometimes snot can me funny. Oh, and beware children bearing wet kisses!

Now it's your turn to play! Sign up below with your blog post.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hey baby, what's your sign?

This week, I decided to bring you a little Saturday Night Silliness. This one goes out to all the single ladies out there...

Yeah girls, these guys could be looking for you! Sure, this video was made back in the 80's, but I'm guessing that these klassy guys are still single...

Friday, October 9, 2009

Twitter: It's not just a job, it's an adventure


I know, I know. I'm late getting my Twitter post up. These things happen. At least I'm getting a post up now. Don't say I never did anything for you.

The one liners

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Hey, are you talking about me? Carry on.

Gotta get my post up... Ooo! Something shiny!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter So it's to be torture then, huh?

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley I think they may find that fried pies are the cure to all that ails us.

weightwhat @katdish - Okay, you're back now. Stop turning into a bird.

Know what's really fun? Trying to get your daughter to pee in a cup without getting in the line of fire. Yeah, it's great.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I haven't been able to come up with one. Just can't seem to wrap my brain around obedience...

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Did you need some cheese to go with your whine?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Wow, I've got to watch the way I type. I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm sing-songy. That would totally blow my image.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom You totally are a rebel. I've always thought that about you.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Has anyone told you that you're very bossy?

weightwhat @HerbieGookins Someone's a stinker and it's you.

RT @NutTheSquirrel How come popcorn isn't a vegetable? // I'd like to know that myself.

RT @badbanana Don't you hate it when time travelers from the future want a photo with you but then refuse to say why they're laughing?

Okay, this picture (titled "Eye Contact") is freaking me out... Look carefully...


RT @stretchmarkmama Sing us some notes, you're the piano man: (via @janakid) #hilarious

A little bit longer ones

marni71 I'm eating lunch and just dropped a bean down into my shirt. And I can't find it. Now I'm disturbed.

weightwhat @marni71 Bra snack!

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I knew I felt the earth shift, then crack and tumble into the sea.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Yes, that does seem to signal my return often.

HerbieGookins What's a good encouragement verse? I need one of those for a letter I'm writing...

weightwhat @HerbieGookins "Lo, I have a painful disease in my loins..." No? Going another direction with your letter?

HerbieGookins I just bought New York brand Texas toast. That seems wrong. And funny.

weightwhat @HerbieGookins Did it make you say "Howdy" but in a rude way?

The ones that are even longer

katdish @redclaydiaries @HerbieGookins @weightwhat We should start the #FOTTSP Ad Agency! How's this: Volvo - They're boxy, but safe!

weightwhat @katdish How about: VO5 Gel for Men - Holding down comb-overs for the last 50 years.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Keebler: Oppressing elves for 10 generations.

weightwhat @katdish @redclaydiaries Walmart: Where every day is a mullet convention.

Okay, doctor's appointment in 45 minutes. Guess I should get dressed. Dr. might not take my jammies as well as the bus driver does.

br8kthru @weightwhat Ah, Dr. doesn't care. 1st thing they say is "Wait in there & take off your pants"

weightwhat @br8kthru Yeah, but it's my daughter's doc, not mine. If I took off my pants he'd probably look at me funny.

br8kthru I'm drinking Mango Ceylon hot tea, but it's the manliest Mango Ceylon tea you've ever seen. Makes me want to spit and/or scratch things.

weightwhat @br8kthru Um, I'm happy for you?

br8kthru @weightwhat you should be.

weightwhat @br8kthru So, now that you're done with your manly tea are you going to crochet something?

br8kthru @marni71 well, you can't fix stupid.

weightwhat @br8kthru No, but you can point and laugh at it.

br8kthru @weightwhat yes, but remember that when you point your finger, 4 are pointing back *profound whisper* at you

weightwhat @br8kthru Not the way I point. I use my whole hand to point, otherwise it would be rude. So there.

marni71 @JeanneDamoff I'm in my place, but no shining face. It's more like a stink-eye since I'm dealing with dumb people AGAIN today.

weightwhat @marni71 Yes, but are they dumb people who are afraid of taxedermy?

marni71 @weightwhat yes!! On of them WAS the taxidermy lady. She stole my favorite pen. Wanna cut her for me?

weightwhat @marni71 I will cut her. With my stuffed knife. That'll teach her.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

Good to know that the U of Florida is ready for a zombie attack.

katdish @weightwhat Thanks for keeping us updated on all the latest zombie news.

br8kthru @weightwhat they took it down- they should have left it up- that's pretty funny.

weightwhat @br8kthru That, and you never really know when a zombie attack will happen. Much like the Spanish Inquisition.

Cardinal_Fang @weightwhat NOOOOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

br8kthru @weightwhat most definitely! You gotta be prepared or face being eaten... This is serious business.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Gooooood moooorning! I'm a zommmmmbie... WoooOOoooo! (It's all @katdish's fault.)

weightwhat @redclaydiaries When isn't it @katdish's fault?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I know. We need a textspeal word for that. Maybe IKF?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat textspeaK. Not textspeal. That would just be weird.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries That would be weird. I mean, would we have to "peal" it before we speak it?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Oh, and IKF.

weightwhat So what's this I see about @billycoffey getting a nickname?

billycoffey @weightwhat It's time to pick a side, Wendy - me or them.

weightwhat @billycoffey Them.

weightwhat @billycoffey I don't do well with ultimatums.

billycoffey @weightwhat You are so mean to me.

weightwhat @billycoffey No I'm not, Snookie Wookums.

Now that was relatively painless, wasn't it? Tune in next week for more Twitter fun!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Creative borrowing


Let's just admit it right now. Bloggers steal stuff. We do. Got nothing to write about? Just check out some other blogs and see what you can steal. So that's where I am today. I've been feeling less than creative but still feeling like I should post something. Anything, really. And then I read my bloggy friend's blog. Marnie, I just want to thank you right now for stealing the idea from other people so that I could steal it from you. Keep up the good work!

So, what's the topic? Things I don't support. Hey, I hardly even need to think about this one! I love not having to think. If you don't feel like thinking, feel free to steal this blog topic, too. Hey, I'm a giver that way. Now, on to the list!

Things I Don't Support

People who are intolerant of other people's cultures.

The Dutch.

Sorry, I just couldn't help myself there.

Those stupid little foil/paper covers they put over the tops of bottles that you have to tear off before you can get to the food/beverage inside. Why can't they put bigger flaps on them so that they're easier to get off? Should I really need to get out a knife to open my milk bottle? Yes, I'm ranting. And? Don't make me put you on my list.

Underwear with inadequate elastic that falls down when you wear it.

People who take themselves too seriously.

Seafood. Ick.

Mushrooms hiding in my food.

Those really bright headlights that blind you even on the low setting.

Ice cream companies making their containers smaller.

Cookies that try to make raisins look like chocolate chips. That's just wrong.

Mean people.

People who throw their cigarette butts on the ground. Isn't it enough that you pollute the air? You've gotta pollute the ground, too?

Bratz dolls.

Tissue paper without lotion in it.

People who steal antenna balls. Really?

All political commercials.


Do-it-yourself projects that I can't do.

Commuter coffee cups that can't go in the dishwasher. Learned that one the hard way. A couple of times.

People from Belgium who visit your blog every day but never, ever, leave a comment.

Okay, I'm going to leave it at that for now. I may revisit the topic sometime though. You know, when I have nothing to write about. Maybe I should start making a list...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Ya learn somethin' new every day


Life is funny when you really look at it. Have you taken a look at your life lately? Why not join the Life is Funny blog carnival and tell us about it? Sign up below!

One evening this week we were sitting at the table and the tv was on one of those educational shows (Spongebob Squarepants). You know, it's true when they say that educational programing can lead to discussion. In the episode that was on that night, a caterpillar changed into a butterfly. Under water. Because it's Spongebob. This is the conversation that followed:

Daughter: Butterflies can't really go underwater.

Husband: No, they can't. Do you want to know something else about butterflies?

Daughter: Okay.

Husband: How do butterflies taste?

Daughter: Like chicken?

Yup, that's my daughter! It's a good thing I didn't have a mouthful of food at the time.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, butterflies taste things with their feet.


Now it's your turn! Sign up on Mr. Linky below and link to your Life is Funny blog post. Go on, it'll be fun!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Must be Belgian inspired

Hooray! It's Saturday Silliness time! And let's just say that I spared no expense when I traveled the world looking for something silly for you today! C'mon, let's just say it. I didn't say it had to be true. Make sure you watch until the end because entertainment like this is a rare find. Enjoy!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Make sure to put on clean underwear before going out


It's that time of the week again! Yup, time for the Twitter Ho-down over at Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants! You want to play along. You know you do. So go on over and sign up already! And now may I present my own Twitter post...

The one liners

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh, we'll make a wild woman out of you yet Sarah!

weightwhat @billycoffey Better mind the Prince lyrics, Billy. I'd hate to see your beef jerky supply line cut.

weightwhat RT @stretchmarkmama Does anal retentive have a hyphen? (via @forces2)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Besides, I never promised not to judge. What fun would life be if I couldn't judge people mercilessly?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Nagging is one of my spiritual gifts, you know.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Imbrace your inner Twitter Ho, Sarah!

weightwhat @PuriChristos Over 30 AND gray hair? Whoa, isn't that the angel of death following you?

I'm here! Entertain me.

My daughter just responded to something I said to her with, "Awkward!" Yup, it was a proud moment.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Being a grown up isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

A little bit longer ones

sarahmsalter @makeadiff21 My grandma always said nice girls don't color their hair, paint their nails, or wear colored underwear. Times have changed...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Except the colored underwear part. Only a hussy would wear colored underwear.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Oh, yeah. I forgot that you're sweetness and light. (TM)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Yes. Yes I am.

CandySteele @weightwhat @redclaydiaries @katdish send daughter @kates513 some love 4 finishing 20 mi run today.Fueled by cookies.Yes, she's a dietitian.

weightwhat @CandySteele Those must have been some good cookies...

PamperingBeki Mid-day check in. Everyone here good? Good. If you need anything let me know. *fist bump to all of you* Back to work I go.

weightwhat @PamperingBeki I need a giant chocolate bar, a massage and a pony. When can you get back to me with that?

br8kthru I smile @ EVERYONE- really- but I'm thinking I should stop smiling @ them in the bathroom. It's weird. PS guess where I just came from

weightwhat @br8kthru It wouldn't be so weird if you didn't follow up the smiling by telling everyone that you're wearing new Superman underpants.

sarahmsalter @makeadiff21 Yeah, I'm feisty on any/every day that strangers are going to invade my "personal space" with needles & other "pokey" objects.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS!

weightwhat @br8kthru I don't know that you want to hear 'undies' and 'snappy comebacks' used together in a sentence. Just sayin'.

br8kthru @weightwhat well, I don't want to see 'juicy' on the butt of sweatpants, but that ship has sailed...

The ones that are even longer

CandySteele @redclaydiaries promise me you'll still get a flu shot? K? Thanks.

redclaydiaries @CandySteele I will, Mom. Have I mentioned my needle phobia?

CandySteele @redclaydiaries I'm a lot kinder in person. What's there to be scared of? It's a skinny little prick.

weightwhat @CandySteele TWSS!!!

makeadiff21 @br8kthru I agree. It's Monday. We need happy thoughts today!

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Is underwear happy? Or should we talk about what we've found in our bellybuttons lately?

makeadiff21 @weightwhat LOL! Oh, please, no.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 You hate fun. Why do you hate fun?

br8kthru @weightwhat did I stun you into silence? The world is turned upside down- I'm a little frightened right now.

weightwhat @br8kthru Calm down, I'm back. I was writing my blog post. All is right in the world again.

br8kthru @weightwhat thanks another 30 seconds & I would have had a full-blown panic attack.

weightwhat @br8kthru Just look at my avatar and take deep breaths. You'll be okay, Jason.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

weightwhat @br8kthru Chump don't want no help, chump don't get no help. Jive turkey.

br8kthru@weightwhat have you been drinking again?

weightwhat @br8kthru Nope. But you started it with 'cut me some slack.' Airplane!? Oh stewardess, I speak jive... Must I explain everything to you?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat This is why I love you: You are actually MORE random than I am.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries It's one of my spiritual gifts.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat RANDOM is a spiritual gift?! I've finally found my place in this world! My top 2 must be RANDOMNESS & SARCASM.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Yes, it is. Now go out and make disciples of all men.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Go ye and do likewise.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Did you shock the bus driver again?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter No, she's used to it now.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You're probably not the only parent that does that.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Are you saying I need to step up my game? Maybe go for some curlers or a nice mud mask?

br8kthru @weightwhat how about some panty hose sliding to your ankles causing you to shuffle?

weightwhat @br8kthru I was thinking about saving that until the end of the year. You know, like a grand finale.

br8kthru @weightwhat Just make sure there's some toilet paper hanging from your slipper...

br8kthru @weightwhat and by 'slipper' I do mean your shoes. :)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I'm not a hater. How could you think such a thing?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Well, in my experience, only haters call other people hussies. Just sayin'.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter You say 'hussy' like it's a bad thing. Perhaps you're the hater.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I don't think I've ever heard anyone called that out of love. But I suppose I could be wrong...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Yes, you would be wrong. The only thing better would be getting called a 'shameless hussy.' Then you know you're really cool.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Of course, the be-all-end-all would be getting called a 'cheesy tart.' But that is reserved for extra special occassions.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat then you think I'm a hussy? I know, I know...If the underwear fits...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom 'Hussy' is good, 'shameless hussy' is even better, and 'cheesy tart' is the be-all-end-all in my world.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom And Helen, you'll always be a cheesy tart in my book!

makeadiff21 It's never a good thing when a friend of your child runs up 2 U after school and whispers to you that your daughter got sent to the office.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 I smell a blog post...

makeadiff21 @weightwhat whyyyyy?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Are you kidding me? Any time your child's friend comes running up to whisper a gem like that, there's gotta be a good story!

BridgetChumbley Son just text me: Need to get deodorant after school. Odd... ;-)

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Wow, sounds like a story there, too!

weightwhat I sure hope my daughter does something odd today so I'll have something to blog about.

Well, thanks for stopping by! And remember to mind your underwear, huh? You never know when you may be in an accident and you don't want to be an embarrassment to your mother.