Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The True Story of a Red-Headed Wonder Woman Wannabe


I was on Twitter this morning (Of course I was on Twitter, what else would I be doing?) and put out a tweet looking for ideas for a blog topic for the day. So my bloggy friend, Sarah, tossed out her blog topic for the day saying I should use it, too. Hey, why not? I'm sure her blog post, even though it has the same title, will be different than what I come up with. Also, that means I don't have to think as much, and we all know that that's a good idea. Make sure to check out Sarah's blog to see what she has to say! But for now, on to the post!

When I was a kid, it was all about Wonder Woman. A supercool crime fighting chick in a sparkly outfit who had an invisible plane? What could get better than that?! My friends and I would anxiously await the weekly t.v. show, then spend the next day running around the playground pretending to lasso people and make them tell the truth. I'm still thinking that magic lasso thingy is a good idea. Anyway, Wonder Woman was "IT" in my world. My choice for a Halloween costume that year was an easy one. Oh yeah, I was gonna be cool.

Fortunately for me, my grandma was an excellent seamstress. I went to her with a plea for my beloved Wonder Woman costume and she stepped up to make it for me, with one minor alteration: My costume would have a strap that wrapped around my neck. My grandma gently explained that I didn't have anything to hold the costume up. It was true. My 4th grade self didn't exactly have Lynda Carter's "frontsets" to keep the costume in place. Drats. But other than that, my costume was fabulous! I drew and cut out the eagle for the top half of the costume myself. I made a cool golden lasso and bracelets. Also, the stars? Yeah, they were all me. My grandma even took me to some thrift stores to find red boots to wear. They were these fabulous red go-go boots that were way too big on me, but I loved them anyway. I wish I had some red go-go boots now... Anyway, I was set. I looked exactly like Wonder Woman. That is, if she had red hair, was less developed and was in 4th grade. We got to dress up in our Halloween costumes for school back then. Everyone thought my costume was cool, and it totally was. Although I do remember feeling a little odd walking around school in what was pretty much a fancy bathing suit and go-go boots. But I was Wonder Woman and it was good.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I keep it hidden pretty well, but I'm still Wonder Woman today. That is, if she had red hair, was still less developed and drove a minivan. Some things never change.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

It's not your father's anarchy


It's time for another round of What I Learned This Week over at Musings of a Housewife. So, what did you learn this week?


I had an eye-opening experience this week. I learned that anarchists have book fairs. Book fairs? Really? It seems a little too soft and fluffy for anarchists, but whatever. Our local anarchy book fair is lead, or not as the case may be, by a guy named Sweet Pea. Yes, you heard me correctly. I said Sweet Pea. Rocked my world, too. According to an article I read, this event brings in hundreds of people. But Sweet Pea says that the community shouldn't be intimidated by the type of crowd that gathers or the theme of anarchy. Apparently, this is not your father's anarchy. This is more the cute and fluffy bunny anarchy. Where are the pitchforks and torches?! At least throw in some chaos and mass hysteria, will ya? What is this world coming to?


And on an entirely different note, a big Happy Birthday to my bloggy friend Steph over at Red Clay Diaries! At least, I think it's a different note. You're not an anarchist, are you Steph? Do anarchists wear Snuggies these days?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Life is Funny - The guilt starts here


Okay, who has had a funny life experience this week? Interesting situation? A joke worth sharing? Be sure to sign up below for the Life is Funny blog carnival - you'll be glad you did.

My adorable little girl got into trouble this week. I know, shocker, right? For those of you who don't know, I'm a Girl Scout leader for my daughter's Brownie troop. We had our first meeting on Wednesday at the other leader's home. As soon as we walked in the door, my daughter was asking if she could go upstairs and play in the playroom. Both the other leader and I told her no.

End of story? Not so much.

Once the meeting was over and all the girls were supposed to be cleaning up, my daughter disappeared. Hmmm... Where could my little angel be? She was nowhere to be found downstairs... I called to her and who do you think should appear at the top of the staircase just outside the playroom door? Yes, my precious little tyke. After shooting laser beams out of my eyes at her, we left the meeting. Words were spoken on the drive home. More words were spoken once we were at home. Of course I asked the question that all parents ask: Why did you do that? Her first answer was the standard 'I don't know' followed by 'I didn't remember.' This child forgets nothing and I told her that I didn't believe her when she said she didn't remember being told not to go upstairs to the playroom. So it was off to her room for some quiet contemplation. Later that evening, I received the following card to commemorate the occasion of the talking to:


In case you are having trouble translating, I would be the larger figure saying, "Oh, I don't believe you." The smaller figure is my daughter saying, "ok." Isn't it amazing how early they start trying to dish out the guilt? Yup, I'm the mean mommy who wouldn't believe her saintly daughter.

But wait, there's more.

She spent some of the following day in her room, too. It was on this day that the following note was thrown over the upstairs railing to the floor below for me to see:


Translation: Dear Mommy, I am sorry I did not listen to you. Please can you let me out of my bedroom?

Yes, the poor dear was locked high in the tower by her evil mommy. (Insert diabolical theme music here.) Little does she know that I keep a can of Guilt-Off and a blog handy for all such occasions, because yeah, my life is funny.

Friday, September 25, 2009

The gift that keeps on giving

Oh, my life is complete! My favorite new show and my new favorite song come together! Of course, I just had to share it with you all. It's Saturday. It's silly. What more can you ask for?

Did you just hear a tweet?


If it's Friday, it must be the Twitter Ho-down! I know, you're both scared and excited to see what I'll post today. Will I make your eyes bleed yet again? Let's just get it out there at the start. No, there will be no bleeding eyes this time. I could say that it's because I'm caring and want to give your eyes a break like Helen did. 'Course, I'd be lying. Truth is I've been a Twitterslacker this week. Hey, I've been sick. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. So without further ado, I present my abbreviated Twitter post.

The one-liners

Everyone knows it's Wendy...

weightwhat @br8kthru Looks like someone could use a nap and it's you.

weightwhat @billycoffey Evil? Me? Never! Creative, maybe...

weightwhat @katdish Hey, don't go infringing on my trademark! I am sweetness and light.™

weightwhat @br8kthru Riiiiight... And your horns are only there to keep the halo up.

weightwhat @marni71 I don't know if I'm talking to you right now Miss Throw Wendy Under the @katdish Bus.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Hey, anyone who shows up in my Ho-down should consider themselves blessed.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries What would our lives be if we couldn't laugh at the expense of others?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Of course, too many teleported pies and it'll be hard to pull off our leather mumus... Yes, in both senses.

weightwhat @br8kthru Know what works? Duct tape.

weightwhat Morning folks! Gotta go help my daughter pick out an outfit. She just came down in one that would make 'em think she didn't have a mom.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Oh c'mon Steph! Judge her already! All the cool kids are doing it.

A little bit longer ones

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Do you know that my hubby makes fun of me for eating a spoon of peanut butter? He thinks that's just wrong.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Was he dropped on his head as a child? Eating p.b. by the spoonful is perfectly normal and acceptable.

katdish I think @weightwhat stalks the twitter then pounces on unsuspecting victims.

weightwhat @katdish I admit to nothing.

weightwhat Back from the bus stop. And yes, the bus driver is very familiar with my jammies now.

br8kthru @weightwhat you know, you could put on a robe or somethin'

weightwhat @br8kthru What, and deprive the bus driver of the joy of seeing me in my jammies? Besides, you never know. She may need blog fodder, too.

And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

weightwhat @Helenatrandom And you know? We really should rule the world. It's so "us."

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Does that make us World Dominatrixes?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Ooo! Leather! Um, I mean, maybe it would.

Helenatrandom @marni71 And join @weightwhat and myself in becoming World Dominatrixes?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Can we give her a fancy title?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat And a uniform #LucyImHome

weightwhat @Helenatrandom What kind are you thinking?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Something militial in leather...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Will we be going with the jodhpurs? Very overlooked in military wear lately.

sarahmsalter @br8kthru Always is. We have a great praise team, a great drama team, and a dynamic speaker. It's one of my fave weekends of the year.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat We must be distant cousins... I walk my dog in my jammies. I'd prob'ly take my kid to the bus stop in 'em if I had a kid. :)

br8kthru @sarahmsalter that sounds incredible. So where are located again? I can't remember...

weightwhat @br8kthru Okay, that was odd. I thought that was your response to @sarahmsalter saying she walks her dog in her jammies.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You're WRONG! LOL!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Thank goodness! I though @br8kthru was thinkin' of cruising your street at dog walking time...

br8kthru @weightwhat Ah, you thought that's why I asked her where she lived... got it. I'm not a pervert- why do i have to keep explaining that?!

weightwhat @br8kthru Hey, if the sweater vest fits...

So there you have it. The best/worst of my week on Twitter. Now you can go on living another week. You're welcome.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet

There is no escaping it. But then again, why would you want to? It's the song and dance craze you just can't get out of your head, and aren't you glad for it? You know what I'm talkin' about...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Life is Funny - What happened to your gazebo?


Another week, another chance to share how funny your life is. And it is funny. Don't you hear us laughing? Oh, uh, we're laughing with you, not at you. You do believe me, don't you? So go ahead and jump on the Life is Funny blog carnival train. You'll be glad you did.

Hello, my name is Wendy and my husband is a gamer. (Hi Wendy.) Did you know that gaming isn't just for kids? Yeah, I didn't either until I met my husband. While I may not get it, he has fun with it, so more power to him. It's good to have time with friends. Over the years he's tried to organize many a game group, but something always seems to go wrong. Kind of like trying to herd cats or nail jell-o to a wall, gamers just can't seem to get it together. I know this drives my very organized husband bonkers. But this weekend, the heavens parted, the angels sang and my husband had a game. Games are at our house. No, not in the basement with all the soda they can drink. Our basement is unfinished and without a bathroom which would make the whole soda thing a little off-putting. They played this night in the dining room. I was sitting in the office and could hear the talk around the dining room table, but really? Most of the gaming lingo and such are beyond me. I haven't a clue. But it reminded me of an email I got years ago about gaming that even I could understand and get a good laugh from. So for your reading enjoyment...

The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo

by Richard Aronson []

In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran "his game", and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games, he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer. Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game. He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:

ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: [pause] It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: [pause] It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: [pause] I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: [pause] I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow. [roll to hit] What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it. ERIC: [pause] Wasn't it wounded?
ERIC: [whimper] But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: [long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.] I run away.
ED: [thoroughly frustrated] It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: [reaching for his dice] Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn't on a grassy gnoll. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. A little vocabulary is a dangerous thing.

The above is Copyright © 1989 by Richard Aronson. Reprinted with permission. The author grants permission to reprint as long as all copyright notices remain with the text.


Now it's your turn. Ready to play? Here's what you do.

1. Anytime this week, blog about what in life you find funny. It could be something that happened during the week, your general impression about why life is funny, or even just your favorite joke. Be creative!

2. Please put a link to my blog in your post. And I'd appreciate it if you'd add my carnival button (made for me by Andie - thanks so much Andie!) to your post. To make this easy, I've put the code to do so under my blog button on my sidebar to the right.

3. After you've posted, come back here and sign up on Mr. Linky below. For the first box, put your name and your blog (example: Wendy @ Weight...What?), then your URL in the second box. Make sure you link directly to your "Life is Funny" post (not to your main page) so we can all read what you have to say.

4. Visit all the other participants and see what they have to say, even if you don't have a blog of your own. And very important: Comment, comment, comment! Oh, how we love getting comments...

5. If you Twitter, please tweet about this - the more participants, the merrier! So go out and spread the laughter! I can't wait to see what everyone has to say!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hey baby, tweet here much?


It's that time again! Yes, the Twitter Ho-down has come to town. Want to play along? Then head on over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants and sign up. Go on. It'll be fun! Now on to my post!

The one-liners

Okay, my bed is calling to me. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why it's speaking Portugese. 'Night Twitter!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Trying to avoid comparing a disturbance in the force to a fart. Not working so well.

weightwhat BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

weightwhat @br8kthru Feel free to come over here and teach my dishes a lesson, too. They're just asking for it.

weightwhat Still hoping the cleaning fairies will show up at my house. For magical creatures, they sure have a poor sense of direction.

weightwhat @CandySteele Who's bud are you wanting to nip?

私は日本語でさえずりたい気がします。 (I feel like tweeting something in Japanese)

私が Twitter の上に1人だけで置き残されるべきではない理由 (Why I should not be left alone on Twitter.)

Asian keyboards must be ginormous. Seriously.

Why am I awake? Oh yeah. Twitter.

I keep hearing the call of the wild doughnut. Why are they so darn elusive?

RT @IndianaJones_ @weightwhat Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? // Yes, Indiana Jones RT'd me. No autographs please.

weightwhat @PeterPollock Don't make me curse you, Peter.

Sitting at the bus stop. In the car. In my jammies. Don't judge me.

Back from the bus stop. Keep expecting 'V' to drive by and wave so I'll think someone I know saw me like this. Yup. Jammies.

Wow, it sure is drafty in here. Gotta love these special gowns.

Note to self: pay more attention to underwear choices.

I wouldn't trust @Helenatrandom's egg nog if I were you. She loves Jesus, but she drinks a little.

weightwhat @billycoffey Yes, it's really me. No autographs, please.

weightwhat @billycoffey Yes, my awesome humbleness makes all things right in the world.

It appears that I was invisible. Some of my posts have disappeared. That's what I get for traveling at ludicrous speed.

weightwhat @br8kthru I'm sweetness and light.

RT @bryanallain Clicking on "Trending Topics" in Twitter is the online equivalent of going to Wal-Mart.

weightwhat @CandySteele You're going to put something called 'crappie' in your mouth? Really?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Wow, I'm deeply touched... My mother warned me about strangers on the internet trying to touch me.

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Between you and me, Bridget, @Helenatrandom keeps disappearing. I'm afraid she may be googling again.

weightwhat I'm sending myself to bed now. Hopefully that will teach me a lesson and I'll wake up with a better attitude. Not counting on it though.

The T-shirts that will be on my Christmas wish list ( )

Allow me to explain through interpretive dance

Haikus Are Easy, But Sometimes They Don't Make Sense, Refrigerator

If Your Pants Are On Fire, Being A Liar Becomes Less Important.

Rock is dead and paper killed it.

Happily Ever After Is So Once Upon A Time.

My friends aren't imaginary, just invisible and shy

Zombies only want you for your brain

A little bit longer ones

foreverdebilynn Watching Dewey Cox. Kinda funny. Definately could do without the nudity tho.

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn With a name like Dewey Cox, wouldn't you expect the nudity?

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn Just sayin'.

stretchmarkmama Hubs (@crossmark) just used the phrase "slap ya with a giant octopus" in response to the kids getting in and out of bed. #funny #therapy

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Hmmm... Giant octopus used for discipline. I need to get me one of them!

stretchmarkmama @weightwhat A giant octopus is kinda hard to come by. But ya know, I can't deprive the kids.

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama You're a good parent.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Want to come over and see my pet squirrel?

weightwhat - @redclaydiaries, this one's for you.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I just want to know why the little squirrel's clutching its little squirrel boobies.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Because you won't?

@katdish You. I forgot to put in @katdish first. Hey, I'm a little distracted here!

GoldFive_@weightwhat Stay on target!

weightwhat @br8kthru Ooo, you are a troublemaker, aren't you?

br8kthru @weightwhat do you not know me at all?

weightwhat @br8kthru Yeah, but I keep praying for you.

CandySteele @billycoffey well google thinks I'm a str!pper or p0le dancer, apparently. At my age??

weightwhat @CandySteele I've heard that about you...

CandySteele @weightwhat you have heard nothing. Put fingers in ears. Shake head. Buy bacon.

weightwhat @CandySteele Yeah, still can't get the picture of you pole dancing out of my head. You'd think bacon would be more powerful than that.

The ones that are even longer

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley - Are we ever going to get a Twitter Ho-down post out of you?

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat Hmmm...I need to look into that...but tomorrows Fun Friday post will have to do for now...LOL

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley So we'll have to work harder to corrupt you then?

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat I really don't think it will take much...I'm 'easy'. :O)

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Oh, you cheesy little tart, you!

weightwhat Ssshhh... Eating waffles.

br8kthru @weightwhat is it like the Wimbledon of waffle eating or something?

weightwhat @br8kthru Yes, it is. Now be quiet. I'm getting ready to serve a bite.

br8kthru @weightwhat *whisper* so what's the score?

weightwhat @br8kthru 30-love. It's not looking good for the waffles.

br8kthru @weightwhat it's okay- they needed to be taken down a notch... so arrogant.

weightwhat @br8kthru They really are. And just because they have Belgian cousins. Yeah, I'll take them down, too! Where's my fork?!

br8kthru@marni71 I'm anal (wow, bad choice of word) so I looked it up, "What's comin' out of your speedo" is the real one

weightwhat@br8kthru Wow, um, I'm glad you can admit it. Here on Twitter. Where I'm sure it won't make it onto next week's Ho-down. (Cut & paste.)

br8kthru@weightwhat saying "anal" is a little misleading since Freud's theories were for 2 types, anal retentive & anal expulsive -you're welcome

weightwhat@br8kthru Wow, you're all up in the anal, aren't you?

weightwhat@br8kthru TWSS

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Getting an STD from a tree? Reminds me of an old joke... Making sure to check for bees first...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I can't even imagine what I'd have to google to find that joke! TWSS

weightwhat @Helenatrandom You'd better watch out. Googling can make you crazy. TWSS

Helenatrandom@weightwhat Really? I just thought it caused blindness...

weightwhat@Helenatrandom And hairy palms.

And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

sarahmsalter @weightwhat No, no. "Salty" refers to my vocabulary. But me and Jesus are working on it.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Sarah, are you a potty mouth?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat It sounds so ugly when you say it that way! Seriously, not really. But my frontier name 4 boys' ministries is Lil' Cussin' Woman.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Well, they couldn't say it if it wasn't true, right?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat It was all so innocent. We were working on restoring the dam @ our lake. And they took that little 3-letter word out of context.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh, so now you're going to throw around your foul language here?! My virgin ears!!!

HerbieGookins Sliced open my toe on the front door this morning. Was returning from a donut run. Is God trying to tell me he hates transfats??

weightwhat @HerbieGookins How could you even think a thing like that? All good things come from God. Donuts are good. Donuts come from God. See?

HerbieGookins @weightwhat Maybe the loss of blood got to my head. What WAS I thinking?? It's a good thing you set me straight...

weightwhat @HerbieGookins I do what I can. Another donut crisis averted.

HerbieGookins @weightwhat You need a super hero title...may I suggest...the Pastry Protector?

weightwhat @HerbieGookins Ooo! I like it! Can I have a cape and tights? Well, maybe not tights. Too many donuts to pull that off.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Why would you want to pull the tights off?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Nobody needs to see me in tights. Cruel and unusual punishment, burning retinas or something like that.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat By the way, you DON'T need tights to be a superhero. You just gotta have a cool mask!

HerbieGookins @weightwhat I can find some smartypants for you, I'm sure... :)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I could go for that...

weightwhat @HerbieGookins You know that would make my life complete.

Helenatrandom @sarahmsalter And a cool slogan. "Would you like coffee with that pastry?"

weightwhat @Helenatrandom And maybe a battlecry. "Unhand that pastry, evil doer!"

In which Helen and I plan our revenge upon prosperity gospel preachers then move on to world domination.

weightwhat @billycoffey's new post is up on @katdish's blog!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I was commenting on @katdish 's blog. Mom will watch the girls while they watch cartoons while we're busy...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Someone sure needs a whooping.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Momma can sing songs to the girls to drown out Preacher Man's crying...The girls will sing louder to drown her out...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Sounds like a plan!

weightwhat I've gotta say, I'm still pretty ticked.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I know. It's bad enough that troubled adults have to hear that, but precious little ones... PM has more than us to be scared of (PM=Preacher Man)

Helenatrandom @weightwhat As you know @Helenatrandom always has a plan. They aren't always very good, but she always has a plan. #LucyImHome

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Without a plan, there's no attack. Without an attack, there's no victory! - One Crazy Summer

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Maybe we could force PM to dance in a video to Single Ladies while wearing a leotard. #LucyImHome

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I like that plan. And he should have to wear extra painful stilettos while doing it.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat We could taunt him with the comfy chair... #LucyImHome

weightwhat @Helenatrandom How about if we sit in the comfy chair while we taunt him? PM deserves no comfort, even from the Spanish Inquisition.

weightwhat RT @Cardinal_Fang @weightwhat NOOOOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Will we all fit? #LucyImHome

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes, because it's both large and comfy.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat We could dress him in Time Traveler Costume, and mail PM to a Men's Prison. #LucyImHome

weightwhat @Helenatrandom That could be your best plan yet!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat That's the plan I was leaning toward myself.

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom @weightwhat I am positive that if you two wanted to take over the could do it!!

Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley Maybe...but we'd have to do it before our husbands came home....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes, because I don't think they'd approve. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. ;o)

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom You'd figure a way around it...I have no doubt!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat "Don't worry dear....we're only in charge of the world. You're still head of this house...."

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Make sure to bat the eyelashes at the same time.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Of course. And tilt my head demurly to one side...

Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley "So, what did you do today, Helen?" "Same thing I do everyday Bob! Tried to take over the world!" Can't say he wasn't warned

weightwhat @Helenatrandom - Could we be like Pinky and the Brain? "What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?"

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I just tweeted that!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom See how brilliant we are together? The world wouldn't stand a chance!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat True, true.We could make the being in different time zones thing work for us...Gives us an extra two hours on each side of day.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yeeesssss... *rubbing my hands together*

Helenatrandom @weightwhat It is 1:21 am here. I better go to bed. I'll sleep on our plans. Then I'll iron them out. #LucyImHome

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom Now tell the truth...would the husbands really be surprised? Just sayin...

Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley @weightwhat Good night. Sweet dreams. @BridgetChumbley, start thinking about your cabinet position....

Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley That depends....Did I still have time to put a roast on in the crock pot. Priorities.... Dinner before World Domination.

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom Good night & diabolical dreams! I'll start giving it some thought...

Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley After you decide where to put your cabinets, let us know what job you want in the Wendy / Helen administration...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Okay. Sleep well. You need your sleep if you're going to take over the world, you know.

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom I was thinking in the corner of the room is always nice...but only if they are empty...the full ones are hard to move!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Before I go to bed, I think we ought to offer @katdish a position in the adminstration. Perhaps "Vice Dictator" ?

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Ba dum bump.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Let's hone it to "Vice Dictator of Making People Cry" - I think she'd like that.

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom I think @katdish would fill that position nicely! I think we're onto something here!!!

weightwhat GAAA! I didn't realize it was this late! World domination plans do tend to run long.

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat Time flies when you're planning to take over the world.

So there you have it. Aren't you glad you came? And aren't you happy that your eyes have a whole week to recover before the next Twitter Ho-down?

Pretend it's Friday

My bloggy friend, Beki, over at PamperingBeki has a blog carnival every Friday called "Fingerprint Friday" in which you post a picture that shows where you see God's fingerprints in your life. Love Beki, love her carnival. But I rarely participate. Why? Well for one thing, a camera is a hard thing to come by around here. I'm hoping to get a good camera sometime in the future (A Canon Rebel XT would make a lovely Christmas gift - hint, hint.), but for now, most of the pictures I take are on borrowed cameras. And now there's also the added hurdle of having the Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants Twitter Ho-down on Fridays. So you see, I'm a bit stuck. Good thing I have an active imagination and can pretend that today is Friday. Some call it delusional, I call it genius. Potato/potahto. Either way, I'm participating this week.


This is Maya, one of my daughter's favorite stuffed animals. When my dad went in to the hospital the first time, my mom was having a difficult time sleeping at night. Big new house, weird sounds, nightmares and such. So my daughter brought grandma Maya to sleep with and to scare away the nightmares. Comfort in times of trouble. Looks like God's fingerprints to me.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Life is Funny - The Fashionista


Okay people! Up and at 'em! It's time for the Life is Funny blog carnival. You want to join in. You know you do. Sign up below!

As some of you know, I was in the hospital last week. Yes, a lovely time was had by all. When I was in the ER Wednesday night, my sister went over to my house to watch my daughter so my husband could come in to see me. I asked my sister to lay out an outfit for my daughter to wear to school the next day so that would be one less thing to worry about Thursday morning. All was well.

Until Friday.

On Friday, my daughter picked out her own outfit to wear to school. She comes up with some very, um, creative outfits. After school that day, I heard that some of the school staff was talking about how I must not have been home that day. Why?


Yes, she loved her outfit. I may never leave home again.

Now it's your turn. Ready to play? Here's what you do.

1. Anytime this week, blog about what in life you find funny. It could be something that happened during the week, your general impression about why life is funny, or even just your favorite joke. Be creative!

2. Please put a link to my blog in your post. And I'd appreciate it if you'd add my carnival button (made for me by Andie - thanks so much Andie!) to your post. To make this easy, I've put the code to do so under my blog button on my sidebar to the right.

3. After you've posted, come back here and sign up on Mr. Linky below. For the first box, put your name and your blog (example: Wendy @ Weight...What?), then your URL in the second box. Make sure you link directly to your "Life is Funny" post (not to your main page) so we can all read what you have to say.

4. Visit all the other participants and see what they have to say, even if you don't have a blog of your own. And very important: Comment, comment, comment! Oh, how we love getting comments...

5. If you Twitter, please tweet about this - the more participants, the merrier! So go out and spread the laughter! I can't wait to see what everyone has to say!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The kids didn't get dropped off at the pool

I'm home! And just in time for some Saturday Silliness! For those of you who don't know, I spent a couple of nights in the hospital. Oh yeah, good times. Lots of tests, pokes and prodding. I was wondering when they'd start swinging a cat over my head and begin the chanting. But thankfully, there was one test they didn't have me take...

See? Every cloud does have a silver lining! Happy Saturday, people!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Drumroll, please.

Okay, okay... I'll talk. But first I have to say that I can't believe you guys wouldn't think that I'd perform with the circus! Should I be offended or happy that I don't come across as being circus folk? Make sure you go back to the comment section of yesterday's post and make your guesses for what everyone else put down. And for those who played along, give us your answers in today's comment section, okay? Don't leave us hanging!


1. An Arab man tried to buy me. True!

I was working at Disneyland at the time. I was selling Mickey Mouse balloons at the front of the park near the train station. Not far from where I was standing, a group of Arab men were walking by when they all suddenly stopped and looked at me. Two of the men approached me and asked, "He would like to know how much to buy you?" "Um, the balloons are a dollar," was my reply. "No, he would like to know how much to buy you." A bit more nervous this time, "The balloons are a dollar!" The two men walked back to the group, said something to the man in the middle and they all stared at me for a bit longer. Finally they moved on. No, I won't be forgetting that one anytime soon!


2. I've ridden an elephant through the jungle. True!

Back in the summer of '93, I went on a summer mission trip to Thailand. While there, I did get to ride an elephant through the jungle, and yes! It was scary! Even though there was a "seat" on the elephant's back, it didn't feel at all stable. I have to say that I was pretty darn happy to get off! One of the other highlights of that day was having a baby elephant steal a bunch of bananas from me. So cute!!! I'll have to post more about my Thailand adventures sometime.


3. I spent a year performing with a circus. False!

No self-respecting circus would have me! The closest I've ever come to anything circus-y was when I was in college (yea Westmont!) and half of the student body would go down to Ensenada, Mexico, for a spring break mission trip. I was on the Mime Team (no, not like that) and we'd dress up like clowns and perform in the different villages. It was a lot of fun, but it was no circus.

So there you have it. Isn't it fun to have stories to tell? And for all of you who stayed silent, don't you wish you'd played along? Hmmm...?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Life is Funny - Carnival games


This week, I've dug up an earlier post to use as my Life is Funny post. Why? Because I couldn't come up with anything else I love this game so much. So you get a game within a carnival. How lucky are you? Now you have the opportunity to join in on the Life is Funny blog carnival by doing your own original post, or by playing along with the game. See how easy I make it?


There's a game I've played over years called "Two Truths and Lie." Have you ever played it? Well, I thought it might be fun to play it here.

Here's how you play. You tell two truths about yourself and one lie, then everyone else tries to guess which is the lie. Fun, huh? I'll tell mine in this post, and anyone who would like to play, other than my immediate family and those who played with me before, can make their guesses in the comments. You can also leave your truths and lie in the comments, or better yet, do your own blog post and sign up on Mr. Linky below. No cheating by trying to go back and find the answers in my old posts now. What fun would that be?

But wait! As an added bonus, I'm throwing in a link to a video! Yeah, it's just a link. I can never get the SNL stuff to embed here. Not sure why. But it's totally worth checking out HERE. You're welcome!

Without further ado, my two truths and a lie:

1. An Arab man tried to buy me.

2. I've ridden an elephant through the jungle.

3. I spent a year performing with a circus.

So? What do you think?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Rubberband Man

It's come to my attention that some of you have not seen some of the greatest commercials ever made. Yes, I'm speaking of the Rubberband Man commercials from Office Max. Classic! So for today's Saturday Silliness, I will lay down some wisdom and love on ya. Feel free to applaud and throw money.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Making up for lost time on the Twitter


Have you been on the Twitter this week? Then why not join the fun at the Twitter Ho-down over at Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants? Try it. You'll like it. The first time is free...

Since I sorely neglected my tweeting and didn't do a Twitter Ho-down post last week, I promised I'd make up for it this week with a post long enough to bring about the bleeding of eyeballs. Just so you know, you've been warned.

The one-liners

RT @emptyn...@harve.. Armageddon chocolate? You know, the stash of chocolate you keep on hand so if civilization collapses you'll die happy.

Does this shameless self-promotion make my butt look big?

weightwhat @WinLiannefield Have you been drinking it straight from the bottle again?

Watching my daughter's swim lesson. She's got a lead butt.

weightwhat @br8kthru Yes, it is a shame that you're so evil. You should really work on that.

weightwhat @br8kthru - You just can't be nice to me, can you? See? More proof that you're evil. And I'm always so nice to you...

weightwhat @becca_homefront If I didn't know better, I'd think you were setting @CandySteele up... Good thing, I need the fodder. Go ahead!

weightwhat @becca_homefront Okay, you are just entirely too nice. Do I need to train you in the ways of the snark?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Sa-kur-a-tee!

weightwhat @CandySteele LALALALALA! I'm not listening!!!

weightwhat @becca_homefront I'm not trying to get you to do my snarky work for me. I'm trying to spread the gift of snarkiness around.

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn Maybe it's a cricket ventriloquist.

weightwhat @br8kthru You know I only call you demon posessed because I love you. And because it's true.

weightwhat @br8kthru Poor Jason. You're just so jealous of my goodness.

weightwhat @br8kthru Always trying to make me out to be Belgian when you don't get your way...

weightwhat @MistiPearl That's odd. I can hear your bed calling you back all they way from here. You shouldn't argue with your bed.

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn Thanks. Now I need to go wash my brain.

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Of course WE were never difficult though, right Bridget?

weightwhat @br8kthru Why were you whining?

Okay, I'm sending myself to bed. That'll teach me.

weightwhat @br8kthru - Okay Twinkletoes, enough of this working stuff. Get back on Twitter and play. It's calling to you... Oh wait. That's me.

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama I guess black topping the driveway took a long time.

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama I don't know if I can handle all this drama!

Wish I had a brownie in a cup.

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley @katdish is evil that way.

My daughter just doesn't want to go to sleep tonight. Thinking about getting out the velcro sheets.

At a park near Burger King. Must they pump out the smell of charbroiled goodness?

Okay, natives are getting restless. Gotta make dinner. Wouldn't want them going cannibal.

A slice of pizza the size of my head. Man I love Costco. Ooo! Churros!

weightwhat RT @NutTheSquirrel If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Do you really think Peter would be crazy enough to turn us loose on his blog? Muahahaha!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Was Peter lulled into a false sense of security by your pink hat?

My daughter thinks she's starving. I told her she could have a slice of ham. Her response? "Lunchmeat, here I come!!!"

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn Where will you grab it? And will it slap you?

weightwhat @WinLiannefield There's only one thing left to do then. Send me your chocolate and I'll take care of it for you.

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn No!!! Not nature content! If I have to look at one more tree...

Slept through my alarm. And by alarm, I mean my 7 year old poking at me and asking for food.

How you've lived so long without knowing these things about me is unfathomable.

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Oh yeah. I was going to start building an ark, but then I realized I didn't know that a cubit was.

Back after a much needed nap. Yup, I was sleepy. And maybe a little grumpy. But not sneezy, dopey or doc.

A little bit longer ones

stretchmarkmama Sometimes I see someone on twitter and think, "That's the spirit."

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Sshhh... I'm waiting to see if he changes the side he parts his hair on...

stretchmarkmama @weightwhat The mystery! The suspense! Is his hair long or short? Dark or light? Is he STILL combing his hair? I MUST KNOW!

SBeeCreations @weightwhat I just wish your blog posts were longer sometimes.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Is that because you're a glutton for punishment?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat that I am

br8kthru Training has hit a snag but after these messages (& 45 minutes) we'll be right back... :)

weightwhat @br8kthru I hope it's because you sabotaged it...

br8kthru @weightwhat yep I am an international man of mystery... Nerdy mystery, but mystery nonetheless

weightwhat @br8kthru
Isn't the sweater vest the official uniform of an international man of mystery?

weightwhat Costco has the new Snuggie Luxury MicroPlush. My life is complete.

HeatherGill @weightwhat Thats quite a find! Did they have the designer colors? 'Cause if so I'm headed down to get one!

weightwhat @HeatherGill They had a few lovely colors. You need them all.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Excellent! And thanks for throwing me under the bus! It adds to the excitement!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom You know I'm all up in the excitement!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat HAH! TWSS!

Helenatrandom @emptynestegg I felt good today. And mischevious....Momma says that's a sign that I'm healthy...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I thought a cold, wet nose was a sign of being healthy. Oh wait. That's with dogs. Nevermind.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Sherri's post with the answer to our questions for Big Al goes up in an hour and 13 minutes. I hope I make it...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that my questions won't be answered? *snort*

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Oh, I don't know...I think she'll have fun with our bit of mischief..I wonder which poem he'll choose...*There once was a man...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'd skip all protocol and go right for the triple dog dare to get her to post THAT little ditty!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom And yes, I said G string. Let's just get it out there now.

mylestones @weightwhat heheh you just laid that one out there with a nice bow for @helenatrandom maybe b/c it's her birthday?

weightwhat @mylestones Yes, and because I dare to go where no underwear should ever go.

weightwhat Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Hurricane Wendy and Monsoon Helen colliding to form a what?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom The Perfect Storm!

The ones that are even longer

br8kthru@weightwhat I've been told I'm mildly amusing, I hope you know.

Helenatrandom@br8kthru How mildly?

weightwhat@br8kthru Such high praise! I hope it didn't go to your head.

br8kthru@Helenatrandom Hmmm, think salsa without the onions or peppers or... well, think diced tomatoes.

br8kthru@weightwhat nope, praise goes straight to my hips so I avoid it by either meeting or just going under expectations.

weightwhat@br8kthru At least it doesn't make your butt look big.

weightwhat Happy Birthday @Helenatrandom! I'm doin' a birthday dance over here for you! But not in my birthday suit. That would just be wrong.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Don't worry. That would require more dancers....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom In 'costume'?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Well yes...That particular costume just SCREAMS for more dancers, don't you think?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes, it does. We should work on that.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I thought about doing a FOTTSP post for you, but no one else would understand it:

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I know. I often regret that Sherri doesn't tweet. She has no clue about what she missed yesterday about her own blog...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I wish Sherri was on here, too. How does it not drive her crazy missing this stuff?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I think her corporal life is getting in the way of her cyber life....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom She's clearly got a problem. Should we have an intervention?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat How? She isn't on her computer long enough to get through it in one sitting. Then again, we could promise to wear stilettos...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Even the guys...but the rest of their costumes must comform to time travel...

weightwhat BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I don't get it...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Pin the tail on the... (look at the background to the right)

Helenatrandom @weightwhat The dancing doggies?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Those are donkeys and they're not exactly dancing...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat dinner and dancing first? How rude!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I suppose they will have to search for my old interviews. I once interviewed myself on my thoughts on Blagojevich.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I remember that one. You should really learn not to sugar-coat things, Helen.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I know...Sometimes I am too gentle...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Maybe a new hat would help you. Next time go for the hot pink one - it's much tougher.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat How about a pink cowboy hat! Would that be tough enough?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I guess that depends on how you wear it. No cocky side tilts or back on the forehead. Gotta be down like you mean business.

weightwhat I made butter! I feel so domestic all of a sudden.

ImAPennyPincher @weightwhat Don't you LOVE that feeling... lol

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher I don't know. I wouldn't want to raise my family's expectations.

ImAPennyPincher @weightwhat aww... come on now... hey i can even make ya an apron!

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher Let's not go getting all crazy now.

And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

Helenatrandom @billycoffey Good evening! How was your day? Did you take our advice and create any mischief?

billycoffey @Helenatrandom Sadly, no. But there's always tomorrow...

Helenatrandom @billycoffey Do you need @weightwhat and I to give you more suggestions? Because we count pranks like some count sheep at night...

weightwhat @billycoffey Billy, @Helenatrandom and I have set high standards for you and we expect you to meet them. Don't let us down again tomorrow.

billycoffey @Helenatrandom @weightwhat Yes, please. I'd hate to fall beneath your standards.

Helenatrandom @billycoffey Okay, start with talking to people you don't know on your route, and telling them to give your best to their parents....

Helenatrandom @billycoffey That's right... "Word to your mother...."

billycoffey @Helenatrandom You know, I'm gonna try that.

Helenatrandom @billycoffey Did you see the movie "The Time Traveler's Wife"? You could dress for your route like you time traveled.. *snort*

weightwhat @Helenatrandom BWAHAHAHAHA!

billycoffey @Helenatrandom Baby steps, Helen. Baby steps. But for now, the bed is calling. See you and @weightwhat tomorrow!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Wendy, please tell me you saw "The Time Traveler's Wife" and got that last suggestion for Billy...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Didn't you see my hysterical laughter?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Which only makes sense if you saw the movie, right? Dang, I can't say I'd mind being there for that prank....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom With a video camera, of course...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Bowchickabowbow,....

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I wonder if Billy saw the movie... I kinda hope not... I'm usually not THAT bold....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom It must be the chocolate chips talking.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Or my bad influence on you is now complete.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Oh no...I still have so much more trouble I can cause with you... We are sooo not done being a bad influence on eachother...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'm sorry, I just can't get the visual of a white butt running across campus out of my head...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Yeah...Good thing it wasn't the chocolate bunny.... Who knows who else'd be time traveling...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom There could be naked white butts all over the place!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Some whiter and buttier than others...

Helenatrandom I wonder where Snickerdoodle is....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Maybe he's afraid you'll wish the Time Traveler's Wife costume on him, too.

weightwhat Oh @br8kthru! Come out and play with @Helenatrandom and me! It's perfectly safe! *snort*

weightwhat @br8kthru Are you morphing people again?

br8kthru @weightwhat there you are. I've had to do all the instigating around here & I'm not as good at it.

br8kthru @weightwhat oh and yes.

weightwhat @br8kthru Oh, don't go playing down your evil side. You're plenty evil.

weightwhat @br8kthru C'mon Jason, embrace your evil side. You're already workin' the evil beard so it's only a short step away now.

br8kthru @weightwhat you and my wife- always trying to convince me I'm evil... what's up with that?

weightwhat @br8kthru Redheaded boys are demon posessed. Your wife is smart. (Redheaded girls are perfect, in case you were wondering.)

weightwhat @br8kthru Convenient but true.

weightwhat I picked up a bag of Snickers Mini's. Thought I could just have 1 or 2 at a time and be happy. Nope. It's just a tease.

weightwhat Now I need a place to hide the evidence...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I know. Snickers are my absolute favorite. I don't buy them for Halloween candy anymore. They'll never make it to the kids.

weightwhat Oh @Snickers! Why do you taunt me with your chocolatey peanut goodness?

foreverdebilynn @weightwhat because @Snickers is a tease. And a ho. LOL

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn Could be true. Next thing you know, @Snickers will change its avatar to a seductively opened wrapper. Chocolate ho!

emptynestegg @weightwhat did you know there was a @Snickers??

weightwhat @emptynestegg Yup. They exist to tempt me. I'm on to them.

weightwhat If I stop tweeting, can someone come check on me? I may be in a chocolate coma on the floor surrounded by empty Snickers wrappers.

foreverdebilynn I would slap someone for a @Snickers right now.

weightwhat @foreverdebilynn How do you think I got my bag of @Snickers?

redclaydiaries CANNOT stop humming 'If u like it u shoulda put a ring on it'. No thanks to @weightwhat & @helenatrandom. GAAA

Helenatrandom @redclaydiaries You started it.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries You're welcome for that!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat She started it, didn't she?

weightwhat@Helenatrandom Yes, she totally did. Silly goth kids.

redclaydiaries @Helenatrandom I know. But now the image of Joe Jonas in a body stocking is burned onto my eyeballs. Have you no mercy?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Shake it to this... It's for the fans...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Wendy, please tweet the one you tweeted to me to @redclaydiaries. Please please please...purty please....oh, oh oh, oh, oh oh..

weightwhat @redclaydiaries - Steph, this one's goes out to you...

Helenatrandom Do you have "Single Ladies" stuck in your head because of twitter? Blame her...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I think I may have to add that song to my playlist now.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Good idea! If I add it to my playlist, I'll hear it more often with out even trying! Oh oh oh!

redclaydiaries @weightwhat That. Was. Whack. And you deserve this:

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Right back atcha!

Okay, you can breathe now. It's all over. For this week anyway. Now aren't you glad you came? Oh, and you might want to think about investing in an eye patch or two while your eyes heal. You're welcome.