Sunday, February 28, 2010

Life is Funny - Scraping something together


I really need to stop blinking, because every time I do, another week has flown by. What's up with that? I didn't even have enough time for anything funny to happen! Thank goodness I read my bloggy friend, Beki's, blog. Thanks to her, I can scrape something together.

So, over at Beki's blog, which you should totally read, she did her weekend update with a list of things she'd spent her weekend doing. One of the things on her long (Where does she find the time?) list was going to the mall with a friend and watching all the cute, skinny moms going by.

Let me take a moment here to interrupt myself. If I was at the mall, Beki would be one of the cute, skinny moms you'd hear me complaining about. I hate am making plans to lace her food with lard love her, but has she looked in a mirror lately?

Anyway, back to what I was saying. She later said they went to Dairy Queen and she felt guilty about that decision.


So yeah, I had to leave her the following comment:

Okay, but at the end of those skinny mom's lives do you think they'll say to themselves, "Well, at least I'm dying skinny!"? NO! They'll be saying, "Dang. Should'a had the Dairy Queen."

Now before you skeedaddle on your merry way, I have a list of things for you to do. First, do a Life is Funny blog post of your very own then link it up below with Mr. Linky. Next, go visit Beki's blog and ask her how her clouter is doing. She'll love that. Last, head over to my friend, Marni's, blog and wish her a very happy birthday. Yup, another birthday! While you're there, try to get her to tell you who did her lips for me, huh?

Friday, February 26, 2010

I need to spend more time on the twitter


It's been a slow week on the twitter. So slow that I'll be including something in today's post that at first I hadn't intended posting. Sorry/you're welcome.

The one-liners

I have a house full of Girl Scout Cookies. Minus 1. Minus 2. Minus 3...

Huh. I had a package of Girl Scout Cookies sitting here a minute ago and now there's just an empty wrapper. Where'd they go?

And who drank my milk?

Finally got my Life is Funny post up. Hey, I gave up timeliness for Lent, remember?

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to craving KFC. (RT @badbanana)

I'm following you. Not in a creepy, behind-you-in-the-parking-lot way, but in an excited-to-read-your-random-thoughts way.

When I see a man with a beard, mustache & glasses, I think, there's a man who took every precaution against someone doodling on his picture. (RT @funnyoneliners)

A little bit longer ones

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Oh if only you said something a little earlier... You know I ALWAYS listen to you....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Listening to me is the only sensible thing to do. I am the voice of reason afterall.

CandySteele @weightwhat It's people like you that teach me to think on my feet, Wendy. Today, you were a text from RB....

weightwhat @CandySteele Hi. I'm Ron Burgandy.

pagan43 @weightwhat I am going to put on my tin foil hat & pajamas and go to bed. will work the same as "I have a headache?" #nottonite

weightwhat @pagan43 My guess is yes. Maybe even better than a headache. And for a longer period of time.

The ones that are even longer

billycoffey @weightwhat Did I say hello to you, Wendy? I must not have, because I'm sure you would have said hello back...

weightwhat @billycoffey No, you did not. *sniffle*

billycoffey @weightwhat Oh Wendy, you know you're my favorite.

weightwhat @billycoffey Oh, you're only saying that because it's true.

And the one you really shouldn't read. Don't say you weren't warned.

BridgetChumbley @sarahmsalter I like Oreos! Esp the double stuffs...

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley EEEEWWWW!!! TWSS.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat What'd she say???

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat hehehehe That is nasty! I missed it, totally!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I am suddenly feeling like an ingenue... I don't get that last TWSS at all....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Ignorance is bliss, Helen. Trust me.

sarahmsalter @Helenatrandom I don't get it either...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter You don't wanna know.

Helenatrandom @sarahmsalter @makeadiff21 Well, it looks like the three of us qualify for ingenuity.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom What are you trying to say about @BridgetChumbley and me? Hmmm...?

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat No kidding...

Nick_theGeek @weightwhat I"m trying to find the TWSS but I can't ... what am I missing?

weightwhat @Nick_theGeek Knowledge that you don't need to have. Ever.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat That you and @BridgetChumbley aren't as innocent as @makeadiff21, @sarahmsalter, and I are. Oh....and @Nick_theGeek

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Hmph!

BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom Ouch! Remember who TWSS'd who... I just like chocolate cookies! #totallyinnocentdoublestufflover

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley GAAAAA!!!! "#totallyinnocentdoublestufflover" TWSS! Again!

makeadiff21 @BridgetChumbley Pahahahahaha! I wondered. I get it now. I guess I'm not so innocent afterall.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Welcome to the dark side.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat OH MY GOSH! I think I get it now!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Another one bites the dust.

BridgetChumbley RT @makeadiff21: RT @weightwhat: @makeadiff21 Welcome to the dark side. // It's more fun here :-) // Do you have cookies?

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Don't give @BridgetChumbley the double stuffed! (they make her crazy!)

Now aren't you glad you'll have a week to recover? But if you're a glutton for punishment and can't get enough of the tweets, head over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants to see what others have contributed to the Twitter Ho-down.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Freak Magnet

The other day, I wrote a seemingly normal (for me, anyway) post. Then things got more interesting. I received a comment that was both spam and someone taking offense at my words. The words in question? Tin foil hat. Oh yeah. While I didn't approve the comment (I don't approve of spam. Or Spam, for that matter.), it was just too good to not do something with. So for your reading pleasure, I present... The Comment:

Jeremy has left a new comment on your post "Life is Funny - Things that make me go hmmm...":

I have a problem with your use of the term, "tin foil hat". Everyone knows that only a steel V2K Cap will protect against mind control weaponry.

Go ahead. Click on the link. Expand your mind. I'll wait here.


Oh yeah, they're out there. And apparently looking for blogs mentioning tin foil hats. And since I have word verification on my comments, I'm guessing that it was a real live person who took offense and wrote this comment.


So, it appears our friend, Jeremy, makes his own special hats. What, tin foil not good enough for ya? It's for more than just covering leftovers, you know.


You can also wrap your favorite 70's band in it to keep them fresh. Hey, could somebody please get Björn more tin foil? Really. He's showing a little too much freshness.

We need our tin foil! Yes, even for making hats. Because those aliens and secret government agencies are out to steal our brainwaves! You know they're out there...


Now, because I'm such a giver (which I remind you of constantly), I've got directions for you on how to make your own tin foil hat. You know you'll need one.


And while you're at it, why don't you make one for your dog, too? That dog has seen way too much to be left unprotected.


Now if you'll excuse me. There's a very large butterfly net with my name on it.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Life is Funny - Things that make me go hmmm...


How's your life? Is it funny? And if it is funny, is it funny "ha-ha" or funny "strange"? Either way, how about sharing it with us? We could use a good laugh. Sign up below!

I've been noticing things lately that just seem to defy explanation. I know! How weird is it that there's oddness around me? Anyway, I thought I'd share a few with you because yeah, I'm a giver.

Yesterday on the Stuff Christians Like blog there was the following video. Wow. Just wow.

Who buys this stuff? I mean, really. There must be someone out there buying it. But wait, it comes with wooden roses? Well why didn't you say so in the first place?! Where's my phone...?

Not long ago my husband went to the pistol range for some target practice.


When he came home, he showed me his paper target. I noticed that at the bottom of the paper, in tiny letters, was a warning to make sure of the target you're shooting at before you shoot. Okay, is it just me, or does this seem like something that should be in big, red letters that are not 100 feet away? And if you could read those tiny letters at that distance, don't you think you'd also be pretty sure what you're shooting at? Huh eagle eye?

I was out in my garage last week and happened to look over at an area where my husband keeps our emergency stuff (Hey, are you prepared for 3 days?). Then what caught my eye on the shelf?


So, clearly, we are prepared for power outages, floods, earthquakes and zombie attacks. You never know when you'll be attacked by the undead, you know.

Okay, one last thing. As some of you may know, I live in the Pacific Northwest, home of flannel, pine trees and...


...bicycles flying over your head. These signs just popped up around a new trail that went in. The old trails don't have this sign, so apparently you're safe there. But if you dare to take the new trail, just know that there are bicycles over your head. I don't see a picture of a basket carrying E.T. in the picture, so as of now, I still don't know what's making these bikes fly. Hey, does that picture of that pedestrian look like he's walking faster than normal?

So there's a little glimpse into my world and the things that make even me wonder. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make myself a tinfoil hat and rock back and forth in the corner trying to find a happy place.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I want a night vision tiara!

Happy Saturday everyone! And what would Saturday be without some silliness? A waste of a Saturday, that's what it would be! For your viewing pleasure, I present you with one of my all-time favorite commercials. Oh, how I love this commercial...

If anyone knows where I can get my hands on a night vision tiara, please let me know. I just know it would make my life complete!

Have some Saturday Silliness to share? Or just want another chuckle? Head over to Happy At Home for more fun. She's got a comic strip there that I'm totally stealing... :o)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Twitter: More proof that we have too much time on our hands


Has it been another week already? Time just flies when you're on the Twitter. Yup. That's what she said.

The one-liners

My grandma warned that boys only want one thing from me. So I hid my PlayStation 3. (RT @Thaozilla )

This special moment brought to you by the letter 'P'...

I'm the man of the house and I'll do weekend chores when my wife says so. (RT @thedayhascome) - BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Happy Valentine's Day! Now where's my chocolate?

"I know it's a shame that when I walk out of a room it gets just a little bit darker and gray. It's a burden I carry." #stm

I should probably go take down the rest of my Christmas decorations now. Somebody stop me.

I almost threw out my back watching my wife shovel all that snow. (RT @thedayhascome)

Atomic Dog. Fun way to wake up. Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay!

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Chocolate Chip Brownies baking. Bake like the wind, little brownies!

Who else votes for @br8kthru going through the spanking machine? Yeah. TWSS. (Happy Birthday, Twinkletoes!)

A little bit longer ones

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries They were forecasting about 4 inches here. But they keep upping the amount. It started at 1 inch and has increased.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS

racegearcom88 @sarahmsalter @weightwhat do you wear a bra to walmart ?

weightwhat @racegearcom88 Yes, but I wear it securely around my head. Gotta keep my ears warm.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Oh, that's sad.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh, and just for grins... TWSS.

Helenatrandom @jewda4 My problem is Shamrock Shake during Lent. How can I possibly reconcile the two?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom What's to reconcile? Shamrock Shakes are clearly a gift from God.

The ones that are even longer

weightwhat My Twitter Post: The return of br8kthru and the appearance of racegearcom88

Nick_theGeek @weightwhat I didn't make the cut?

weightwhat @Nick_theGeek Looks like someone's gonna need to put in more effort.

Nick_theGeek RT @weightwhat: @Nick_theGeek Looks like someone's gonna need to put in more effort. // #TWSS

SBeeCreations Why has DH suddenly started listening to country music? This is very strange

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Alien brain snatchers?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat you may be on to something

weightwhat @SBeeCreations I always like to go with the most obvious possibility.

Helenatrandom @buzzbyannies So.... Do you think my finger injury is a good enough reason for a glass of wine?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Do you really think soaking your finger in wine will help?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I was thinking more of taking the wine internally...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Not a wine enema! Don't do it Helen!

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

sarahmsalter @weightwhat What's your grand plan for the rest of the day?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Takin' the kiddo to Walmart. My life is a thrill a minute.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat How strong is your leash?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Not the leash I'm worried about. I'm worried that the chair and whip may not be enough to fight off the crazies.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Wear a scary outfit.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I could do that. I might even end up on that website. Everybody's gotta have a dream.

pagan43 Pancakes and bacon for dinner. Snowed in.

weightwhat @pagan43 Pancakes and bacon? I wanna be snowed in.

pagan43 More than 8 additional inches to come.

weightwhat @pagan43 TWSS

weightwhat @pagan43 No one is safe around me.

WinLiannefield Peanut butter M&Ms are tiny, colorful pieces of Heaven. That is all.

weightwhat @WinLiannefield Know what's better than Peanut Butter M&Ms? More Peanut Butter M&Ms.

WinLiannefield @weightwhat I have tested your theory and have proven it to be true. Tonight. Repeatedly.

weightwhat @WinLiannefield More proof that you should always listen to me.

WinLiannefield @weightwhat Your wisdom is unquestionable in matters of chocolate.

weightwhat @WinLiannefield Truly.

WinLiannefield @redclaydiaries @weightwhat Well, you can't live on Peanut Butter M&Ms alone. Leftover Valentine's dark chocolate sustains me as well.

weightwhat @WinLiannefield Leftover chocolate? I can't even wrap my brain around that concept.

Yes, truly an exciting week on the Twitter. Does life get much better than that? But before you go, how about some birthday wishes for Jason (@br8kthru)? Yup, he's another year older. And maybe if we're nice to him, he won't reproduce anymore. Need I remind you of br8kdish?


Monday, February 15, 2010

Life is Funny - The Marriage Translators


It's time, once again, for the Life is Funny blog carnival! You're life is funny. I can tell just by lookin' at ya. Why don't you sign up below and tell us about it?

My friend, Sarah, sent me the following video the other day and it's just too good not to pass on. Especially since yesterday was Valentine's Day and I'm guessing there are some husbands out there who, well, were clueless. Perhaps the Marriage Translators could help in the future so you men won't spend the night before Valentine's Day standing in the local convenience store wondering if your wife would rather have the motor oil or beef jerky as a gift. That's right men, put them both down and step away. This is good advice and you'll be thanking me later.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Okay, who was in charge of bringing the chocolate? Hello? Anyone? Drats. Well, I did my part - I brought the comics. Here ya go.



Hey, is that chocolate around your mouth?

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Don'tcha just love Saturday Silliness time? On Monday I did my Life is Funny post about my favorite Super Bowl (What's a Super Bowl?) commercial. Love that commercial... But I have to say, I really like the following commercials, too. And the more I see them, the more they grow on me. Enjoy!

Hey all! Kathy over at Happy At Home is doing her Saturday Silliness carnival again! Why don't you head over there and join in?

Friday, February 12, 2010

My Twitter Post: The return of br8kthru and the appearance of racegearcom88


You've waited for it all week and now it's here - the Twitter Ho-down! Feel free to get into the fetal positions, smack your head and try to find a happy place.

The one-liners

One thing parenting has taught me is how to fight like a kid. No it hasn't. Yes it has. No it hasn't. Yes it has. Oh this is so not fair. (RT @stretchmarkmama )

Men. (insert eye roll here)

Twitter saved me from a terrifying keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself addiction. (RT @debihope)

I always have the strangest dreams after eating Mexican food. I like to refer to them as "jallucinations". (RT @MrBigFists )

The munchkin is complaining she's hungry. Better feed her before she turns cannibal.

weightwhat @katdish - In case Buddy Love ever decides to become a cross-dresser:


A little bit longer ones

sarahmsalter @Helenatrandom You know, those who can laugh at themselves (@weightwhat) will never cease to be amused. :o)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I give myself so much material...

BridgetChumbley I just hit SEND... now, I wait... #vaguetweet

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley If you can't say something nice, say something vague.

racegearcom88 @weightwhat ooo she spoke to me my day is now complete ;)

weightwhat @racegearcom88 Yes, you have been graced with my presence. Now move along. I've got others to grace.

br8kthru I'm drinking English Breakfast tea in the afternoon. Yes, I am such a rebel. And no, I cannot be tamed.

weightwhat @br8kthru You will, of course, keep your pinky properly raised...

BridgetChumbley @makeadiff21 That's too long... but something to look forward to just the same!

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley TWSS

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat hahahahahaha I didn't see that one... shame on me!

The ones that are even longer

racegearcom88 @BridgetChumbley depends on what you want. Some can be hard.

BridgetChumbley @racegearcom88 Going to take the high road and not TWSS you... hehe

sarahmsalter @BridgetChumbley Oh, c'mon! I don't think we've ever TWSSed @racegearcom88 before. Initiate him!

weightwhat @racegearcom88 Okay, if no one else will do it... TWSS! Sheesh.

br8kthru @weightwhat Nodding off at my desk. I'm getting sleepy (very sleepy) & best I can tell no one is trying to hypnotize me

weightwhat @br8kthru Do you need to be poked with a stick?

br8kthru @weightwhat Maybe you could poke me with a doughnut- I think sugar might help at this point...

weightwhat @br8kthru I would, but there's no way a doughnut would make it that far. And no, that's not chocolate smeared around my mouth.

br8kthru @weightwhat why must you provoke me? & when are we going to have those food replicators like on Star Trek so I don't have to wait...

weightwhat @br8kthru Once again, life does not live up to tv. Such a sad story.

br8kthru @weightwhat You really should get to inventing that- I would be really appreciative...

weightwhat @br8kthru Right after I bring about world peace and solve the mysteries of non-dairy creamer.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat So... Got your blog post written?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Thank you, Ma'am. And again I say, "Where is yours?"

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I don't have one. I gave patience up for lent last year and it worked out so well I decided to give it up forever.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh, and TWSS.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

weightwhat Bus stop time!

br8kthru @weightwhat Is that anything like Hammer time?

weightwhat @br8kthru Yes. Like my parachute pants?

br8kthru @weightwhat they are totally coming back- that's why I saved mine

weightwhat @br8kthru So THAT'S why you saved them... Uh-huh

br8kthru @weightwhat Ok, I read 'saved' as 'shaved' & I was abt to tell you it was none of your business.

weightwhat @br8kthru Shaved? You'll never keep your cockles warm that way.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Did you tell @Helenatrandom how BADLY you treated me in the ho-down this week?!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I treated you badly by repeating what you said?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You know these things don't sound nearly as bad coming out of MY mouth as they do when they're sprayed in graffiti on your wall.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter How long have you been delusional like that?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Just since I met you. :-P

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter Really? I hate that deadline crunch. Well, Nick would recommend a low-carb Monster. Got one?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter If not a low-carb Monster, how about cranking up the music and doin' the Single Ladies Dance. And video tape it.

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Nope. I don't keep caffeine in the house.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter FOR THE LOVE OF GUMBY, WHY NOT?!

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter Okay, then do you keep any unitards in the house?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Uh oh oh oh...

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries No, I do NOT keep unitards in the house. Do you?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Want me to send you one of mine?

There you go. You may resume your daily activities, but only after your head over to Katdish's blog and enter to win something from my etsy shop. Go on now. Don't make me turn the hose on ya.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Who likes free stuff?

As most of you know by now, I've got a new Etsy shop. But what you might not know is that right now, Katdish is doing a giveaway on her blog from my collection! I know! It's the coolest thing ever! What can you win? Hmmmm... Let's see...





Sorry, cute little girl not included in giveaway. ;o)




And there are even more to choose from! Yes, it could be your lucky day! And remember, if you do any shopping at my Etsy store, you can help Sarah Salter go on her mission trip to Sudan by putting "Sarah" in the buyers comments section.

So what are you waiting for? Get on over to Katdish's blog. Skeedaddle!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

One Word At A Time Carnival - Patience


Let's just get this out there: Sarah Salter is pushy. She just won't leave me alone about today's One Word At A Time blog carnival. And the topic is patience! Looks like she still has a few things to learn on that topic... And speaking of Sarah Salter, there's still time to hit up my etsy shop and help Sarah get to Sudan this summer. When (yes, I said 'when') you make a purchase, just put "Sarah" in the buyer's notes and a portion of the sale will go to support her mission trip. No, this whole post isn't going to be a commercial. But it's my blog and I can do what I want. See how I am?

Now, back to the topic at hand. Patience. I told Sarah over on Twitter that I have nothing to say on the subject. You see, I gave up patience for lent last year. It worked out so nicely, I decided to give it up permanently. I know, it's a big sacrifice, but I'm a giver that way. And I'm super holy.

This year, I'll be giving up timeliness for lent. I've actually gotten a head start this year. I still have some Christmas decorations up. So while the rest of you are being slaves to your calendar, I'll be biding my time. For lent. Maybe beyond. I mean, the whole giving up patience thing worked out so well for me... I can hardly wait until lent this year! And I can say that since I gave up patience.

Not everyone can go down the path I've chosen. From what I understand, many of you pray for more patience. You know, more is not always better. First you want a litttle bit more, then in no time at all, you want a lot more. Be happy with less, people. What will more patience get you but more need for it? Who wants that?! I say, give it up. For lent. You'll be glad you did.

Monday, February 8, 2010

There was a football game?


Okay, it's my understanding that there was a football game yesterday. Yeah, whatever. We all know it's really about the commercials. So for today's Life is Funny post, I've decided to post my favorite commercial of the game. You're welcome.

And because I'm a giver, I'll show you my favorite commercial from last year, too. Yes, my generosity is overwhelming.

So, what Funny do you have to share?

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Twitter Ho-down in which Sarah doesn't incriminate herself. Much.


I didn't think I'd spent much time on Twitter this week. I guess I was just very productive in my tweeting...

The one-liners

weightwhat @sarahmsalter FEAR ME! Or something like that.

I'm not a nag. I'm a motivational speaker. (RT@funnyoneliners)

Back from the bus stop. I don't think the bus driver recognized me. I've gotta stop falling asleep in my clothes.

You know what would make me happy? Then why aren't you doing it? (RT @obxlaw )

Gotta go put the kiddo down. She hasn't been put down all day and she needs a blow to her self-esteem.

A little bit longer ones

CandySteele Finishing up Sunday morning oceanfront run/walk/sweat. #goshitshotbutimnotcomplaining

weightwhat @CandySteele Had to re-read your hash tag numerous times before I realized you weren't swearing at us. I was almost scandalized.

Nick_theGeek @CandySteele needs Orbit gum to clean up her dirty mouth. Kumquat

katdish @weightwhat You should really shorten your etsy tweet so that others can RT. #justsaying

weightwhat @katdish How's this? Buy my stuff. Help @sarahmsalter.

marni71 Does typing super-fast count as cardio? I need a Body Bug to be sure, I guess.

weightwhat @marni71 According to my 'Fingers of Steel' video, typing is a great workout. And I'm sure they weren't saying that just to sell me a video.

redclaydiaries Hello. I've missed you Twitter, but I've been a whirling cleaning dervish. A DERVISH, I say. In other words, my kids r gonna HATE me.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Wanna come over here and dervish next? My daughter needs a chance to hate you, too.

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter I don't know... Maybe if I cover them with peanut butter...

weightwhat @redclaydiaries What are you covering with peanut butter? Is this a TWSS moment?

sarahmsalter @CandySteele Hangin' like a hair in a biscuit. You?

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter "Hangin' like a hair in a biscuit"???? HAHAHA. I so can't wait till Wendy's back to twist THAT. You're on a roll.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Now, what is this about your hairy biscuits?

The ones that are even longer

redclaydiaries Hello, my name is Stephanie, and I'm a Candy Hearts addict.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Hi Stephanie.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I acknowledge that I am powerless over their sugary goodness.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Or the nudge you need to go get more at the grocery store.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You never answered my question... Have you called the doctor yet?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Did you know it's impossible to lick your own elbow?

katdish @weightwhat You're just sitting there snickering and imagining @sarahmsalter trying to lick her elbow, aren't you?

weightwhat @katdish Maybe.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Oh, sorry. I had worn myself out TWSSing. I couldn't think clearly.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter You know, you should really be careful - you could also give yourself hairy palms and go blind from all that TWSSing.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Why didn't you tell me that earlier?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Who said that?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Who said what? (Did we wander into a Laurel and Hardy sketch?)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter As in, I can't see... From too much TWSSing... Must I explain everything?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat ROFL! NOW I get it! #ifeelsodumb

sarahmsalter @br8kthru Well, bless yer pea-pickin' heart! (That's how we say it 'round these parts.)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter What? You're not going to call him, what was it now... Honey Pickle?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You remember how much trouble I got in last time I used that particular endearment, don't you?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Of course I do. *snort*

sarahmsalter @weightwhat If you like that endearment, you may use it. Just don't toss it out willy-nilly. That's just wrong.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Toss out a PICKLE all WILLY-nilly? I would never...

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries I would just like to complain about your live twitter feed. It says I'm from Fuquay Varina. AM NOT! #themsfightinwords

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter Whuuuuu? Did u just insult me? Well fuquay varina YOU!

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries No! Your twitter feed insulted ME by saying I'm from Fuquay Varina! (pronounced FYOO-KWAY VAR-EE-NUH)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I always thought you looked a little Fuquayish, but I wasn't gonna say anything.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I ain't no Fuquay Varina girl!

weightwhat @redclaydiaries She sure throws around those fuquays like they're going out of style, doesn't she?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries And don't even get me started on her varina! Yeah. I said it.

pagan43 @weightwhat Oh my I must cover my eyes, they are bleeding. #didnotseehervarina

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Her varina??? I. Am. On. the. Floor.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I hope you're able to take care of your fuquayish varina problem soon. I hear they sell an over-the-counter cream for that now

redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter So... Have you been payin attention to what @weightwhat 's been sayin about your varina? #shestartedit

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I think she's too busy hitting her head and trying to find a happy place.

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Yeah... And I thought I hadn't said anything incriminating that @weightwhat could use against me in the ho-down this week.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh ye of little faith.

Okay, so this post is seriously lacking some @Helenatrandom and @br8kthru. How does this happen? I have no idea. But they really need to entertain me more so this won't happen again. So let it be said, so let it be done.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Me and my shadow


Well kids, looks like Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning. You wanted 6 more weeks of winter, didn't you? As for me, I'm still waiting for winter to show up here. But since I know that some of you have had a tough winter already, I figured I'd give you some ideas on how to keep yourself warm for the next 6 weeks.


Groundhog slippers - A must for anybody with feet. Not only do they keep your feet warm, it's like one swift kick up the backside of the animal that is the cause of your weather-related problems.


The groundhog beanie cap - Nothing says warm and cozy like the wide-eyed stare of a dead groundhog on your head.


Mocking the groundhog - Hey, it always warms the heart to mock, right?

If those things fail to keep you warm and toasty, I have one more suggestion for you. Recipes. For groundhog. Tastes just like chicken. And it'll be a warning to all the other groundhogs out there who dare to stick their head out of their home and make predictions we don't like. Hmmm... I wonder what a good side dish would be to go with Waco Groundhog in Sour Cream...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Life is Funny - Breastfeeding


Gentlemen, you may want to turn away to protect your delicate sensibilities. Read on at your own peril.

Having a new baby at home was such a wonderful time. Looking back at it, anyway. It's easy to forget some of the more unpleasant parts of early motherhood like the lack of sleep, the lack of sleep and the lack of sleep.

And then there was the breastfeeding.

Don't get me wrong, I loved being able to breastfeed my daughter. Eventually. It took my daughter 6 weeks to learn how to do it. Yes, 6 weeks. So I'd be pumping and bottle feeding her 'round the clock. And yes, as a matter of fact, I did resemble the undead. My parents would occasionally help me out by letting my daughter and me sleep over at their house. They'd take her into their room for the night and get up in the middle of the night for feedings. While it was wonderful to get in the extra sleep, another problem arose when I'd skip feeding times.

Do you know where I'm going with this?

Yup. I'd wake up with giant, leaking boulders growing out of my chest. To say that I was full would be an understatement. Low lying areas had to be warned of impending danger. I'd swear I'd seen my breast pump cowering in fear as I approached. Good times.

It was during one of these times when my kind, caring and oh-so-understanding father presented me with the following comic strip:


Yeah. Thanks Dad.

So, do you have anything you'd like to share in the Life is Funny blog carnival? Sign up below with Mr. Linky and play along. It'll be fun. Really.