Yea! It's a Ho-down!

Hooray! It's a twitter ho-down! Feel free to do your happy dance.

Okay, maybe you should keep your happy dance to yourself...

The one-liners

I'm convinced that people change their avatars just to confuse me. And yes, it IS all about me.

Does this "but" make my excuse look big? (RT @MrBigFists)

Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help. (RT @TrolleyCat) It's National Napping Day! I could learn to love this holiday.

Can you guys keep it down? I can barely hear myself suffering in silence. (RT @evrythingmustgo)

Wow. It's my 24,000th tweet. You'd think by now I'd come up with something interesting to say. Well, you'd be wrong.

Tweet. That is all.

Somewhere out there is a racehorse saying that they have to pee like me. Gotta go!

Life Tip: It's always a good idea to get a second set of fingerprints on your weapon of choice. RT @LIFECOACHERS

The people who invented the Internet never would have got around to doing it if they'd had the Internet. RT @mattkirshen

Just found out how much wood a woodchuck would chuck: Two pounds. Consider it settled. RT @StephenAtHome

When you flirt with someone in real life, how long are you supposed to hold the sideways wink face? RT @badbanana

I may or may not be eating a giant spoonful of peanut butter right now. Okay, I totally am.

I've got Poker Face playing right now. So my daughter came in and started poking my face. Nice.

Fair warning: I'm planning on doing a twitter ho-down post this week. Who wants to be (in)famous?

weightwhat @duane_scott @SBeeCreations You should always listen to me. I'm the voice of reason.



The ones I may or may not have said in a DM

And do you have rings on your fingers and bells on your toes?

I'll be sure to bedazzle the peg leg, of course.

I also enjoy not having gaping and oozing wounds.

Cerebral fornicator?

Going for the shock and awe, huh?

With a lop lop here and a lop lop there...



The ones that are a little bit longer

okiewife I bought a mini bamboo plant for myself today. Go ahead.. say I'm weird. Everyone else has.

weightwhat @okiewife I could tell you that you are weird, but I really don't think we can blame the bamboo for that.

weightwhat @okiewife Then again, I have a mini bamboo plant. If that causes weirdness, it would explain a lot.



five_monkies Okay tweeps. I am seriously missing my nightly forays with @weightwhat (or @WendyDarlingLtd depending on her mood that night).

weightwhat @five_monkies We're like ships that pass in the night. Or some other Barry Manilow song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgnHEyeMECc

TheRustedChain It's hammer time.

weightwhat @TheRustedChain I'll get my gold parachute pants!



Helenatrandom @weightwhat How is it that you, @duane_scott, and so many others have more alter egos than me? When did I become the sane one?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Probably around the same time that I became the voice of reason.



MPdaCNA Lovely discussion about farts and poop. Gotta love life w boys.

weightwhat @MPdaCNA Um... Yeah... Only boys would talk about things like that... *whistling innocently*



br8kthru @weightwhat are you actually here? I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Feel free to faint dead away. I am here.



RedClayDiaries My nose itches. On the inside. #ihateallergies

weightwhat @RedClayDiaries Sure. You're "scratching." We believe you.



WritingJoy wow. This would indeed be an epic story. "guy poops and throws up epic story" #searcheslandingonmyblog #searchbomb?

weightwhat @WritingJoy What? Isn't that how all the good writers do it?



weightwhat Okay, I may be a little disturbed. http://tinyurl.com/3wufur9

marni71 @weightwhat only a LITTLE?

weightwhat @marni71 What are you trying to say?



mommytweetsalot Why won't my kids go to bed and STAY there? Bedtime is the most stressful part of my day.....ugh

weightwhat @mommytweetsalot Clearly you're not using enough duct tape.



katdish Flower stems or creepy green hands? http://plixi.com/p/94816286

weightwhat @katdish I think the Grinch is trying to steal Easter.

katdish @weightwhat HA! Awesome.

weightwhat Free wi-fi? I may sit drinking sweet tea at McD's all day. #wwf

weightwhat Wow. That sweet tea is kickin' in... #pottydance

weightwhat So much for the free wi-fi... #iPadsarenotpottyfriendly



RobinMArnold I just called someone a whippersnapper. Don't be one. Not good.

weightwhat @RobinMArnold If only your warning had come earlier. I'm afraid it's too late for the likes of me.



weightwhat My daughter was sitting in the bathtub the other night singing "Video Killed the Radio Star." It was a very proud moment for me.

elizabethesther @weightwhat my twins sing in the bathtub, too. Except their favorite song is: Old McDonald Had A Poo-Poo Farm. #notsoproud

weightwhat @elizabethesther With a poo-poo here and a poo-poo there?



melissa_rae I think I'm getting a fever... #fb

mychiapet @melissa_rae And the only cure is more cowbell?



mychiapet @dlrayburn You know, we looked a lot alike before I got my seeds all grown in. Except I don't have thumbs. Showoff.

dlrayburn @mychiapet Actually I am a chia in remission... I started out with hair...

mychiapet @dlrayburn Do you need more seeds?

The ones that are even longer

SBeeCreations Saw a guy Wearing Crocs while riding a motorcycle *blink* *blink*

weightwhat @SBeeCreations I know he's saying something, I just don't know what that something is.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat I think it's some like "Chicks dig mangled extremities"

weightwhat @SBeeCreations That could be it!



weightwhat Thinking of doing a dot-to-dot using the freckles on my arms. This could take a while. #whyishouldnotbeleftaloneontwitter

SBeeCreations @weightwhat you aren't alone

weightwhat @SBeeCreations I was. And now it's too late.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat What did you do?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations I look kind of like this now:

elizabethesther I get to go to the dentist today! YIPEEEEE! not.

weightwhat @elizabethesther You're a wild woman! Maybe next you can go to the podiatrist to have an ingrown toenail removed!

WritingJoy @weightwhat Wow, Wendy -- forget about living on the edge -- just bungee-jump off the side why doncha?

weightwhat @WritingJoy @elizabethesther Hey, I'm all about the edge. As long as it can be done in jammies.



weightwhat You really should go read and comment on @mychiapet's guest blog post on @SBeeCreations new blog. You wouldn't want to see @mychiapet angry.

weightwhat What are you still doing here? Go read @mychiapet's guest post at @SBeeCreations blog already. http://t.co/HCEeMlb

katdish @weightwhat You're so bossy when you're.....awake.

weightwhat @katdish And?



marni71 Sometimes, I need people to have a mute button. In absence of that technology, I'm having extra coffee today. #tc

weightwhat @marni71 Are you talking about me again?

marni71 @weightwhat Uhhhhh, sorry Wendy. Didn't see you there. #awkward

weightwhat @marni71 Yeah.



muchl8r Today's one of those days where you start realizing how much you love & appreciate people then kick yourself for being so sappy. #Gross

weightwhat @muchl8r Can I kick you, too?

muchl8r @weightwhat please do

weightwhat @muchl8r So happy to help! :o)



weightwhat Am I disturbed? You decide. http://tinyurl.com/3wufur9

jewda4 @weightwhat I think I know the answer, and I haven't even read the post yet.

weightwhat @jewda4 What are you trying to say?

jewda4 @weightwhat um, to protect the safety of the innocent and myself...I was just saying that I can tell you are not disturbed in the slightest.



katdish My son is on the local news. Students protesting teacher layoffs.

weightwhat @katdish Is he carrying a pitchfork and a torch? Please say yes...

katdish @weightwhat Not that I can see. The HS is next to the JH. They interviewed some teens who are protesting by going to Starbucks across street

katdish @weightwhat Because nothing says Save our school like purchasing an iced frappachino

weightwhat @katdish Throw in a scone and you could start a war.



dlrayburn @weightwhat Been missing you round here!

weightwhat @dlrayburn But is your aim getting better?

dlrayburn @weightwhat wow ur snarky is out of practice

weightwhat @dlrayburn I suppose I should dust it off once in a while.



And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

RedClayDiaries Big storm on its way. Hoping it arrives AFTER we're home from evening activities.

weightwhat @RedClayDiaries Is everything black and white where you live?

RedClayDiaries @weightwhat Um, what?

weightwhat @RedClayDiaries You know, like the beginning of The Wizard of Oz.

RedClayDiaries @weightwhat Ohhhhhh. I had no clue what you meant. But no, we do still have technicolor. However, a witch just rode by on a bicycle.

weightwhat @RedClayDiaries Better hide the dogs.

RedClayDiaries @weightwhat I'm putting on my red shoes just in case.

Nick_theGeek @RedClayDiaries u want a house to land on you?

RedClayDiaries @Nick_theGeek Oh yeah. OK scratch that. I'll go put on my blue gingham.

weightwhat @RedClayDiaries Don't forget to braid your hair. And sing.