Strange things happen when I can't come up with a blog topic. This evening I decided to put out a request for topics to my Twitter friends. Yeah, it came down to the Taco Bell Chihuahua. In case you were wondering, I'll be making this up as I go along. I don't know that there's any real way to prepare for something like this...
This just in: The original Taco Bell Chihuahua died today. Looks like this post will be turning into an obituary. Lovely.
Oh Taco Bell Chihuahua, we hardly knew ye. Who knew that you were really a female dog named Gidget? It's an odd coincidence that my dog is named Gidget... Anyway, back to you, you cross-dressing doggie spokesperson. Your presence in television commercials back in the day made us want to run out and buy burritos, tacos and anything else you were pushing at us. Who could resist lines like, "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!" and "Hey! Drop the chalupa!" Okay, truth be told, I was more likely to hit up Del Taco because I just like them better. But I was totally there for you when Taco Bell put out the talking Chihuahua replicas of you! Try as I might, I was only able to collect 2 of the 4 talking dogs. My life has never been fully complete since then. Sure, I could go on ebay and try to purchase the missing toys, but your sudden and untimely death is sure to put those out of my price range now. I may need to make a shrine out of the 2 dogs I have and the collection of hot sauce packets I've stolen over the years. I'll wipe my tears with the stack of Taco Bell napkins in the glove compartment of my car. I might even make a midnight run for the border. And it's all for you, you taquito-sized mascot of the late night munchies. I'll miss you!
Sources close to me (my 7 year old daughter who is standing right here) tell me that the following was the Taco Bell Chihuahua's favorite joke:
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver and cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me." The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?" "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever. "My, my," said the Poodle,"I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence." She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?" The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says.... "Liver alone. Cheese mine."