Childhood 101: School survival

Yesterday I read a post over at Michael Perkins' blog 'Untitled' in which he gave his son advice about starting kindergarten. If you haven't read it yet, why not head over and give it a read and a chuckle? Of course, while I was there I had to give his son some advice of my own. I'm a giver, you know. Then last night, I saw that Bridget's One Word at a Time Carnival topic for today is 'children.' Putting two and two together and getting five, I decided to broaden my advice to children going back to school. No, it's not idea stealing. It's creative borrowing.

Parents, why don't you head over to Bridget's blog and read some of the lovely posts about children you'll find there. No really. Just leave the kids with me. I've got this covered. Skeedaddle.

Are they gone?

Okay kids, let's get started. I'm sure your parents have given you all kinds of advice about school and what you should and shouldn't do. Well, I'm sure that's all well and good, but I'm here to give you the advice you'll want. The kind that will actually help you survive and thrive in elementary school. Why? Because I care.

If you do a project in class that uses glitter, make sure to bring some glitter home for Mommy. Moms love glitter. Feel free to spread it around so she can keep finding it.

Make sure you work on your drawing skills so that when back-to-school night comes around, everyone will know that that's a picture of your Daddy in his tighty whities watering the front lawn. Remember, neatness counts!

Boys, chicks dig guys with cool hair. Paste can be used if you've forgotten to put gel in your hair in the morning.

Girls, cooties ARE real. Don't believe anyone who tells you differently. And yes, boys are the ones who have them. The only way to avoid getting them is to yell "COOTIES!" as loud as you can while pointing at the offending boy. If you do get infected, Cootie Spray is very effective in getting rid of them. Go for the Bubble Gum scented and you can't go wrong.

Don't let this get around, but smooshed Twinkies and Ding Dongs are actually yummy. So while everyone around you is getting grossed out by them, you should simply collect the offending snack cakes and put them away for yourself for later. Total snack cake score there!

Girls, if your mom tells you that you don't need to wear shorts under your skirt or dress, smile politely then secretly go put some on anyway. Trust me when I tell you that you don't want to go through your day hearing, "I see London, I see France..."

Boys, it's never too early to start getting ready for your future career as an entomologist. Feel free to start collecting as many bug specimens as you can and bring them in to class. Of course, your teacher will want to see them, so leave them on her desk for her. And no, don't put them in a box. Bugs like to run free.

If you ride the bus home, try to sit in the bus driver's blind spot. Open up your window, then pull out the bubble liquid you snuck into your backpack. Load up the wand and then hang it out the window while the bus is moving. Yup, you'll get all the bubbles and none of the headaches from all the blowing.

Okay, that's going to be all for now. Wouldn't want to overload any young minds. Now kids, your parents are probably going to ask you what I taught you today. Just tell them that I said, "Stay in school and don't do drugs." The rest can just be our little secret. *wink and nod*

Summer is out to get me

Two posts in two days from me?! Inconceivable! Well, before you get yourself all worked up into a lather, it's not really two whole posts. This one is mostly a reprint of an old post. See? All is right with the world afterall.

Over at Bridget's blog, she's doing the One Word at a Time blog carnival. Now I usually don't join in on this blog carnival because, well, it's just too deep for me. But this week's topic, Summer, is one that can be found in the shallow end of the pool. Although, if you go and check out some of the other posts there, some people are still seriously swimming in the deep end. I'll be needing my water wings now.

Summer. What do I think of when I hear that word? Sunburn. Crispy, fried, blister-covered skin. Temperatures so hot it makes my freckles start to melt. And S'mores. Hey, there's always room for chocolate.

A little background on me. I grew up in Southern California, not terribly far from the beach. I have red hair and blue eyes. Do you know what comes with that combination? Fair skin. Now I'm not talking Snow White fair. That chick is tan compared to me. I'm talking pasty white. With freckles. I've burnt to blister more times than I like to remember. (And yes, I get yearly skin checks at the dermatologist.) I've even managed to burn the BOTTOM of my feet. Now that's saying something. Of course, all my friends were tan. All of them. They liked standing next to me because it made them look even darker. I always wanted to be tan...

Back when I was in junior high, one of my friends was having a pool party for her birthday. Fun, huh? Yeah. All my friends were slathering on baby oil so they could get even darker than they already were, and I was jealous. So, yeah, I grabbed the baby oil myself.

Anyone see where this is going?

I spent most of our pool time floating around on a raft under that bright California sun. I kept checking myself, but I didn't seem to be turning color at all. So I just continued to float around, sunning myself like everyone else.

Or not.

When I got home, I realized that I was fried. Lobsters everywhere were jealous of the deep red color of my skin. I probably could have toasted marshmallows with the heat coming off my skin. Well, part of my skin anyway. Did I mention that I didn't turn over the entire day? Oh yeah, bright red on the front of my body, ghostly white on the back. And a very clear line where the two colors met. I looked like a different person coming and going. It was not a good look on me.

But wait, there's more.

When in a situation like this, most would try to hide the two-toned skin under clothing, right? Yes, that would have been ideal. Except for one small problem. I was on a swim team at the time. I was forced to wear a swimsuit, in front of a lot of people, and show off the glory that was my skin. There was much pointing and laughing as I tried to get into the water as quickly as possible. Good thing I was in junior high at the time. Nothing is embarrassing in junior high, right?

One Word At A Time Carnival - Patience

Let's just get this out there: Sarah Salter is pushy. She just won't leave me alone about today's One Word At A Time blog carnival. And the topic is patience! Looks like she still has a few things to learn on that topic... And speaking of Sarah Salter, there's still time to hit up my etsy shop and help Sarah get to Sudan this summer. When (yes, I said 'when') you make a purchase, just put "Sarah" in the buyer's notes and a portion of the sale will go to support her mission trip. No, this whole post isn't going to be a commercial. But it's my blog and I can do what I want. See how I am?

Now, back to the topic at hand. Patience. I told Sarah over on Twitter that I have nothing to say on the subject. You see, I gave up patience for lent last year. It worked out so nicely, I decided to give it up permanently. I know, it's a big sacrifice, but I'm a giver that way. And I'm super holy.

This year, I'll be giving up timeliness for lent. I've actually gotten a head start this year. I still have some Christmas decorations up. So while the rest of you are being slaves to your calendar, I'll be biding my time. For lent. Maybe beyond. I mean, the whole giving up patience thing worked out so well for me... I can hardly wait until lent this year! And I can say that since I gave up patience.

Not everyone can go down the path I've chosen. From what I understand, many of you pray for more patience. You know, more is not always better. First you want a litttle bit more, then in no time at all, you want a lot more. Be happy with less, people. What will more patience get you but more need for it? Who wants that?! I say, give it up. For lent. You'll be glad you did.

Community - It's not a new tv show

It's carnival time again. I hadn't planned on joining in this week because I couldn't come up with anything to write about. Okay, that's not exactly true. I could have come up with something, but it would have been fluff. Not even funny fluff. Just something to fill the space. A word to the wise: Be wary of wishing for writing material.

Sunday morning, I woke to the sound of a crash and then my husband yelling my name in a tone of voice that let me know that it was something horrible. I ran downstairs and into our office to find him on the floor with our daughter who was having a seizure. Shock. Panic. Fear. I grabbed the telephone and dialed 911 and tried to get help while listening to my husband tell my daughter to breathe. The operator told me to calm down as I watched my precious girl start to turn blue. I prayed to God to help her as I saw her color return. Somehow I made it through the phone conversation then dropped to the floor to hold my daughter. My husband ran outside to wait for the paramedics to arrive and I stayed with my girl and watched her look right through me as I talked to her and prayed. She just wasn't really there. Exhausted from her ordeal, she closed her eyes to sleep. I held her chest with one hand to make sure that her heart was still beating and with the other I stroked her sweet little freckled face. It took years for the minutes to pass while we waited for help to arrive. I stayed by her side as the paramedics checked her out and tried to ease her stress when she couldn't figure out what was going on. She was still incoherent, but was in a panic. I held her hand. I talked to her. But it was still too early. The seizure still too fresh. She needed time. I wanted my little girl back now.

My husband went with her in the ambulance so I could get dressed and throw things into a bag that my daughter might need. Clean jammies, clothes, a storybook, a beloved stuffed animal. Things I wanted her to need. Before I ran out the door to catch up to the ambulance, I stopped at the computer. After having a terrible time trying to find the correct keys, I managed to get out an email and a tweet on Twitter asking for prayers for my little girl. I sent out my plea to my little community because I knew that my friends would support my daughter with their petitions to God. What I didn't know is that the community was much larger than I had anticipated. Word spread and people I didn't even know were praying for my daughter. Like ripples on the water, my community was growing and spreading. It's an amazing and wonderful thing to see, and I know that the prayers are still going.

As for my daughter, she's been acting like her old self. There's running, giggling and smiling. There's complaining, whining and asking for more food. The doctors aren't in agreement as to what they think is going on. Some blame her diabetes saying she had low blood sugar. The neurologist says her blood sugar wasn't low enough to have caused the seizure and wants to do an EEG. The endocrinologist wants to do a full workup on her to see what can be found. So the mystery, as well as this mother's worry, goes on. Thankfully, I have a wonderful community around me who is covering my daughter in prayer and for that, I am so very grateful.

If you'd like to read what other carnival participants have to say, please check out the "One Word" blog carnival hosted this week by Bridget Chumbley. Also, there's the "What I Learned This Week" carnival at Musings of a Housewife.

Today, on a very special Weight...What?...

Today's post is a two-fer of sorts. No, you're not going to get two different posts. I'm just linking one post to two different blog carnivals. Yes, I'm tricky that way. The first is "Remember" at the One Word at a Time carnival and the second is the What I Learned This Week carnival. How in the world can these two things go together? Read on...

It was a sad week here at the Weight...What? household. I learned that it was time to say goodbye to an old friend. A dear friend. A friend who had been with me more than 20 years. I remember the start of this friendship like it was yesterday...

It was my freshman year in college, the time when most people realize that they need a friend like this in their lives. We'd pull all-nighters together as well as get together first thing in the morning to start our day. Sometimes I was very demanding, but my friend just continued to give and give without a single complaint. My friend really pulled me through the hard times in college.

After college, my friend and I were as close as ever. Years have passed and I've moved a handful of times, but my friend was always there for me. After all this time, I have to admit that I took my friend for granted. I just always thought my friend would be there for me. Sadly, it's just not to be. I said goodbye to my friend this week and now I feel lost. It's like I can't even get out of bed in the morning anymore, because what's the use? I guess there's only one thing left to do...

I need to go shopping for a new coffee maker. Man, I'll really miss the old one.