My poor twitter account has been suffering from the effects of Girl Scout Cookies. Such a sad story. Not even a TWSS to be seen. Crazy, huh? Here's hoping twitter can get back to its old self now that cookie season is over.
The one-liners
An airplane killed a jogger while making an emergency landing on a South Carolina beach. Which is why I don't jog. (RT @badbanana )
Is it my imagination, or is twitter having issues?
Where is that *(&@*$% happy place?! And who keeps moving it?!
The ones from my dog, Gidget (@CrazyGidgetDog)
Been days since I've had a good butt drag on the carpet. Time to seize the moment! Carpe carpetum!
A little bit longer ones
weightwhat I'm very angry with McDonalds. How could they run out of Shamrock Shakes 4 days before St. Pat's Day? Inconceivable!
iaminigomontoya @weightwhat You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
jewda4 Don't you wish overalls for grown ups came back into style, including the standard one strap done up?
weightwhat @jewda4 Oh, they're still in style. As long as you're at Walmart.
The ones that are even longer
katdish Dear @billycoffey: When you write a post about Sponge Bob boxer shorts, spam comments for ED & viagra increase ten-fold Sincerely, Me
weightwhat @katdish *snort!*
katdish @weightwhat Seriously - I just deleted 15 spam comments this morning.
weightwhat @katdish So, do you think the boxer shorts in general cause the need for ED and Viagra meds, or is it SpongeBob himself?
CandySteele @Nick_theGeek Sorry your head's hurting. Ever packed it in ice? Yes, I'm serious. #worksforme
Nick_theGeek @CandySteele do all of your medical suggestions have to sound like ways the mafia deals with a snitch?
weightwhat @Nick_theGeek Wait 'til she brings out the leeches.
Nick_theGeek @weightwhat I think leeches might be preferable to decapitation and packing my head in the cooler.
weightwhat @Nick_theGeek Maybe, maybe not. Just how bad is your headache?
And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones
br8kthru @weightwhat How's it going? I have an overwhelming urge to call you 'spanky' but don't know why...
weightwhat @br8kthru That's fine. I'll be calling you 'Alfalfa.'
br8kthru @weightwhat Oh come on, I'm Buckwheat if I'm anyone- don't you see the resemblance?
weightwhat @br8kthru I'm sorry, but you're just not cool enough to be Buckwheat.
br8kthru @weightwhat That's low- you call my coolness into question? On what grounds?
weightwhat @br8kthru That you even have to ask takes away even more coolness points. I may have to demote you to Porky or Froggy.
br8kthru @weightwhat Let's just skip to the end and you can call me 'petey' -I know that's where we're headed.
weightwhat @br8kthru Woof.
So there you have it. My sad little twitter post. Sorry I couldn't make your eyeballs bleed this week. Maybe next week will be better. If you're still craving more, feel free to head over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants to see if anyone else did a post. Just don't hold your breath. Lately they've all been pretty flaky, too.
Posts
3 comments:
What?! No mention of The Rusted Chain?
I'm sure I was hysterically funny this week.
I'm not even on here. Sniffle.
Yours was still better than mine lol I loved the whole spanky/petey conversation :D
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