Monday, May 3, 2010

Life is Funny - How Southern Baptists time contractions

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Welcome to another round of the Life is Funny blog carnival! Feel free to join in below - the more the merrier!

For today's post, we're going to go back in time. That's right. So kindly step into the WABAC Machine so we can get started.


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We now find ourselves in a hospital room back in 19*cough cough*. My mom is being told she's in labor, but she's not believing it. She said she wasn't feeling any pain and just wasn't convinced. But they were keeping her there anyway.

While she was there, she got a visit from their Southern Baptist preacher. To hear tell, my mom wasn't too thrilled about the visit in the first place. But then he started lecturing her on the evils of dancing. Yup, evil alright. And he kept talking. After a while, a nurse came in and asked her how far apart her contractions were. My mom told her that she wasn't having any contractions, but the preacher told the nurse that the contractions were 3 minutes apart. It seems that during his lecture, he was watching my mom and taking note of when she looked uncomfortable. Turns out she was in labor. Apparently, my mom couldn't tell the difference between the pain of labor and the pain of being admonished about dancing. I wonder if that timing trick is something they teach in seminary...


7 comments:

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...

Wow, you have a patient mom. (Not a surprise, considering who she had to raise...)

If it'd been me, the preacher would've been able to time my contractions by how often I threw my water pitcher at him.

And I'm curious: Did he lecture every pregnant lady about dancing? Was it the famous "Sex leads to pregnancy which leads to DANCING. EEEEEEVILLLLL!!!" lecture?

Wendy said...

Hey now!

Lianne said...

Now that is funny!

I wonder if my Southern Baptist preacher was timing my contractions yesterday...I was alternately grimacing at the pain they caused and the boredom his history lesson brought on. (It was the 150th anniversay celebration for my church. Instead of talking about the church, he talked about Abe Lincoln. Go figure.)

jasonS said...

Nice! Men always know just the right time to have relevant conversations. It's something we're known for.

Helen said...

I guess your mom looked like she wanted to dance, and had to be stopped.

Sorry to break it to you. I know that has to be tough to think about...

Don't be too ashamed. My parents actually MET at a dance. Polka. Little Wally. And. I. am. NOT. ashamed.

;-)

(Which probably explains a lot about me...)

katdish said...

Oh, that preacher wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes with me.

After 2 days of induced labor, my doctor told me we needed to start thinking about a c-section. I told her we aren't thinking about anything, you're going to wheel my @$$ down to that operating room and get this kid out of me NOW!

Yeah...I was stressed.

jake said...

I'm completely looking forward to that class at seminary. It isn't until your fourth semester of your M.Div. that you get to take it though ;) your mom sounds tough. Scary tough....