There have been things floating around in my brain lately. Unrelated things. Things that may or may not be understood by seemingly normal folk. Why? Because it's my brain. 'Nuff said. So, without further ado...
Hi, my name is Wendy and I'm 43½ years old. That ½ is very important. Just ask my now 8½ year old. Yup, she just had her ½ birthday. She even had a countdown to it on her whiteboard. Do you remember they days when you'd add on ½ to your age? When did we stop doing that? I'm thinking I might start adding it back on again. Keeps people wondering.
We had a nice little snowfall last week. Where we live, we don't always get snow that actually sticks, so it's a treat. For me and my daughter, anyway. My husband? Not so much. He's very Grinchy that way. It doesn't stop him from going out and playing in the snow with the kiddo and dog though. And by "playing," I mean "pelting each other with as much snow as possible."
The kiddo after getting pelted
Crazy Gidget Dog after getting pelted
And my husband after getting pelted.
You know who didn't get pelted? The one holding the expensive camera. Until I put it down, of course. Then it was open season on Wendy. This just in: Snow is cold. You know, in case you were wondering.
Have you seen these commercials?
Is it just me, or would anyone else get a complex if an air freshener went off whenever you walked past it? Do I offend?! Okay, maybe a bit...
Now I know that you're all going to be out doing your shopping this weekend, so I didn't want you to miss out on something really special. And it's made from the latest thing! I just know that you'll love these as much as I do!
Even though it's been a while, I'm willing to bet that these pants are still $13. We should stock up!
When you're done with your shopping, why not head over to Kathy's blog and see what's going on? I'll give you a hint: She's got a clip from my favorite Carole Burnett skit ever! Yeah, you'll want to see it.
Well there you have it. You've made it through another Ho-down. Don't you feel like you can tackle anything now? Doesn't it just make you want to go to Walmart and do some Black Friday shopping? Yeah, me neither.
Around this time every year, I start to get a craving. This is not just your regular have it once and you're satisfied cravings, but the kind where you aren't happy until you've consumed every bit of the item within a 5 mile radius. Yes, I start to crave turkey.
I've never understood the people who get tired of having turkey leftovers. And leftovers are a problem because...? Feel free to ship 'em my way!
I think my biggest problem is that I must rely on others for turkey. In all my years, I've never cooked a turkey. Thanksgiving is never at my house, so there's never been a need for me to give it a try. Ham, I've got down. Come over for Christmas or Easter and you're in for some pretty good ham. But don't expect an invite for Thanksgiving.
So for now, I'm stuck begging for leftovers. Thanksgiving this year will be at my house (due to a power outage at my folks house), but my mom will be coming over to make the turkey. But I already have a scheme to enable my turkey hoarding. Of course, I want to keep as much turkey as possible, so I have devised a plan to cause a distraction so that no one will see me whisking away the turkey leftovers to be hidden in my own refrigerator. That, and my folks don't have power, so there's no use in them taking home leftovers...
For anyone else who might be cooking turkey for the first time, I found the following helpful video. Enjoy!
Okay, it's a little late, but it's still Saturday! Ready for some silliness? This week, it's Muppet silliness! Who doesn't love the Muppets? No, really. Who? So here's some Muppet fun for you - enjoy!
What, that isn't enough for you? Then why not head over to Kathy's blog and see what else you can find? Go on. It builds character.
Hello, and welcome to the return of the Twitter Ho-down. Feel free to make yourself comfy and sit a spell. No really, have a seat. This could take a while.
I'm thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then. (RT @funnyoneliners)
I'm the opposite of psychic. I don't even know what I'm thinking. (RT @WendyLiebman)
The salad I had for lunch just didn't do it for me. But I'm sure this chocolate chip cookie will make it all better.
I have no idea what game my boys are playing, but it includes the phrase, "follow the trail of farts." (RT @stretchmarkmama)
Shouldn't proper grammar be used when belittling someone's intelligence? It seems like using poor grammar would diminish one's credibility. (RT @jewda4)
The ones that are a little bit longer
SBeeCreations For the love of all things holy, stop pinching me!
SBeeCreations Yes! RT“@AmberStrocel: Dear family: it is not necessary to engage me in conversation when I'm in the bathroom. Really.”
weightwhat @SBeeCreations My rear end hitting the toilet seat seems to be a memory trigger for my daughter and she MUST show/tell me things right away.
Helenatrandom @weightwhat Last week Saturday I dropped a 300 pound man on my right foot. It didn't swell, but it took a few days to turn blueish purple..
Helenatrandom @weightwhat But then, that was before the pretty colors and the swollen toe... I haven't figured out whether that adds or decreases value...
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Not really sure either. I mean, what happens when you mess with perfection?
If you've been on the internet in the last couple of days, I'm sure you've come across the news about Amazon selling a book that's a guide for pedophiles. After a huge outcry (and I'm guessing a fear of losing business at Christmastime), Amazon pulled said book from its site. They didn't pull the other items on their site that promote this vile practice though. Why would Amazon keep other items on their site that are so abhorrent? That seek to steal and maim the innocence of young children and forever taint their view of themselves and the world around them? Although my guess is that it all comes down to the almighty buck, they drum it up to one thing: Censorship.
Amazon claims that if they don't sell these items, that it's censorship. They seem to view themselves as the bastion of free speech and liberty.
But I think they've got it all wrong.
In this country, we have the right to say/write/think pretty much anything that tickles our fancy. If someone tries to stop us from doing these things, then we are being censored. That's pretty straightforward.
Here's where Amazon gets it wrong. Choosing not to sell an item is not censorship, it's using discernment. Every day we have to make choices. To differentiate between right and wrong. To take the high road or the low road. The choices we make say a lot about who we are and the character we embrace. This is true not just for individuals, but for companies, too. Just because you're a large corporation doesn't mean that you're free from having to make a distinction between that which is acceptable and that which is repugnant. Deciding not to sell a book does not keep the author from writing it, it keeps you from being a used as a megaphone to promote activities that are illegal and deplorable.
Happy Saturday all! My all-time favorite movie is The Princess Bride. Love. It. So today, I'm sharing a clip from it for you all to enjoy. I'm a giver!
Now doesn't that make you want to go watch the entire movie? Yup, that's what I'll be doing later!
Ready for some more fun? Why not head over to Kathy's blog and see what's going on over there?
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Twitter Ho-down! Grab your popcorn, sit back and enjoy! Or rock back and forth, slapping your forehead, trying to find your happy place. Whatever.
The one-liners
I have a whole lot of nothing to say today. If it weren't for Twitter, I might not have an outlet for that. (RT @FlyoverJoel)
It's raining here in Washington. Go ahead. Be shocked.
I'm playing Cribbage against the computer. The computer totally cheats.
weightwhat @katdish I went to Tuesday Morning today. Saw lots of crap. Be expecting a large package soon.
I hit the control key but I'm still not in control. (RT @funnyoneliners)
CANDY CORN!!!
The ones that are a little bit longer
duane_scott I just scared up a whole village of dust bunnies while moving my bedroom furniture for the first time in 12 years. Some of them were BIG!
One more day. Just one more day. Then we can start watching tv and answering our phones again. You know what I'm talking about. Political ads. Just one more day until the blissful return of commercials for toys and denture cream...
As for today, did you vote? If not, why? You really should get out there and vote. Unless, of course, your political views differ from mine. Then feel free to stay home. It's the right thing to do.
Moms totally get this. Poop explosions. How does such a tiny little body hold so much poop?! When I was a baby, my parents couldn't leave the house without at least two changes of clothes for me. And I'm not just talking about tops and bottoms, they had to bring extra shoes and socks, too. Because without fail, as soon as we'd leave the house, there would be a number 3 that would fill every nook and cranny within 5 yards of my little butt. The stories are legendary and many. And although I can't prove it, I believe that my mom wished upon me a child who would do the same thing.
She got her wish.
My daughter was a butt explosion waiting to happen, preferably at the most inopportune time. Waiting in line for a picture with Santa? Check. Mommy just used the last diaper while out running errands? Check. In the middle of a diaper change when her legs were pulled up in the air? Check. Don't think that I didn't pass along a mother's wish to my daughter. Yeah.
So, what number 3 stories do you have to tell? Feel free to put them in the comment section. Or better yet, blog about it and link it up to my blog carnival below! And don't forget to link back here, huh? Don't make me wish number 3's on you.
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