Hello, and welcome to the return of the Twitter Ho-down. Feel free to make yourself comfy and sit a spell. No really, have a seat. This could take a while.
Mmmm... Diet Cherry Limeade... #guesswhowenttoSonic
I'm thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then. (RT @funnyoneliners)
I'm the opposite of psychic. I don't even know what I'm thinking. (RT @WendyLiebman)
The salad I had for lunch just didn't do it for me. But I'm sure this chocolate chip cookie will make it all better.
I have no idea what game my boys are playing, but it includes the phrase, "follow the trail of farts." (RT @stretchmarkmama)
Shouldn't proper grammar be used when belittling someone's intelligence? It seems like using poor grammar would diminish one's credibility. (RT @jewda4)
The ones that are a little bit longer
SBeeCreations For the love of all things holy, stop pinching me!
weightwhat @SBeeCreations Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything.
TheRustedChain *finally* carving pumpkins with my kids. #MomOfTheYear
weightwhat @TheRustedChain Because you finally found all the hidden Easter eggs?
The_BMG I thought when Twitter went to the New Twitter that there was going to be no more fail whales?
weightwhat @The_BMG And lollipops for everyone?
The_BMG @weightwhat Definitely lollipops for everyone. They should get on that.
weightwhat I made tin can phones for my daughter last night. They're the best thing since sliced bread. Yup, I totally rock!
saphyreplatypus @weightwhat I wrestled a coconut bra away from my daughter last night, and then my son.
weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Um... Can I borrow that?
WritingJoy 3yo boy. shirtless. outside. 51 degrees. purse left in front yard. poop in backyard eaten by dog. Mom needs a vacation.
weightwhat @WritingJoy There's just not enough Calgon in the world to take you away from this one, is there?
katdish "That's weird. Never seen an urinal in the Ladies Room before. Wait! I'm in the MENS room!" - Me
weightwhat @katdish You take all the best field trips.
katdish @weightwhat I do, don't I?
weightwhat @pagan43 What's the word?
pagan43 @weightwhat Bird Bird Bird is the word.
weightwhat @pagan43 You know that song is going to be stuck in my brain now, don't you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sMB6dye29Q
weightwhat Is it just me, or does anyone else think that if we panned down on @kelybreez's avatar we'd see that he's on a skateboard?
kelybreez @weightwhat Am not. I've got it under my arm, & sitting on a great dane...
weightwhat @kelybreez Silly me for not realizing that.
duane_scott The past week has been amazing! There were times when I had to ask SG to pinch me so I knew it was real.. :)
makeadiff21 @duane_scott TWSS :-)
weightwhat @duane_scott Okay, there are some things you just don't need to share with the rest of us...
billycoffey @CandySteele I don't think there's such a thing as the billy coffey fan club.
weightwhat @billycoffey Then why am I wearing the t-shirt?
weightwhat Why yes, I am listening to Christmas music. And?
kelybreez @weightwhat That's illegal until 8pm on Thanksgiving night. I thought everyone knew this.
weightwhat @kelybreez I'm a rebel, Kely. A loner.
kelybreez @katdish @Helenatrandom @weightwhat @billycoffey Ok. There's my flurry of tweets for a while. Now back to the false world.
weightwhat @kelybreez I'll miss you terribly and think of you often. Or is it miss you often and think of you terribly? Yeah, whatever.
duane_scott @dlrayburn what?! There is nothing wrong with kissing, Dusty... #reallyweirdtweet
dlrayburn @duane_scott I'm so glad you put the comma in that last tweet.
weightwhat @dlrayburn *snort* (@duane_scott)
duane_scott @weightwhat you favorited my tweet? You little twert!!
weightwhat @duane_scott Twert? Do I need to slap you for that?
katdish I love the twitter, but sometimes I read people's tweets and think, "Why would you tweet something like that? You can't take it back."
weightwhat @katdish Are you talking about my tweets again?
redclaydiaries @weightwhat Hey! I want my two dollars.
weightwhat @redclaydiaries Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars. Plus tip.
The ones that are even longer
dlrayburn @weightwhat just favorited your tweet: @duane_scott
weightwhat @dlrayburn Stalking my favorites now, are we?
dlrayburn @weightwhat Don't get TOO excited. It's a new feature of Tweetdeck. It shows who favorites your tweets.
weightwhat @dlrayburn Oh Dusty, you don't need to make up some silly story like that to hide the fact that you're stalking me.
weightwhat A serious post from me?! What's this world coming to? http://tinyurl.com/2bcmzqz
SBeeCreations @weightwhat Don't faint - I commented
weightwhat @SBeeCreations GAAAAA!!!
SBeeCreations @weightwhat I know, it's shocking. Then again, you're the one that wrote the serious post on a Friday...
weightwhat @SBeeCreations Clearly it is the end of days.
SBeeCreations Yes! RT“@AmberStrocel: Dear family: it is not necessary to engage me in conversation when I'm in the bathroom. Really.”
weightwhat @SBeeCreations My rear end hitting the toilet seat seems to be a memory trigger for my daughter and she MUST show/tell me things right away.
WritingJoy @weightwhat @SBeeCreations You too? The world always comes to a screeching halt if I head to the jon or to the basement.
weightwhat @WritingJoy @SBeeCreations Yup. I'm to the point that I don't know if I can make a decision or fully inspect anything unless I'm pottying.
saphyreplatypus Another one bites the dust... r.i.p. "Princess George Monster Truck" fish. (yes the kiddos named him)
weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Burial at sea/toilet?
saphyreplatypus @weightwhat all drains lead to the ocean!
weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... Oh, wait. Nevermind.
And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones
WritingJoy @weightwhat Good morning! What are you up to today? I'm supervising a shirtless underwearless 3yo. I know you're jealous.
weightwhat @WritingJoy Yea! Naked day at your house! My daughter never understood why she had to put clothes on if we had company coming over.
WritingJoy @weightwhat Yes, my kids love nudity. Also, ignoring closed bathroom doors. They are invitations to barge on in. #whatisprivacy?
weightwhat @WritingJoy Remember what it was like before kids when the bathroom was really a restroom? Yeah, me neither.
WritingJoy @weightwhat Bathrooms are restrooms? I thought they were cheerleader training. "Poop goes in the potty! Poop goes in the potty! Hip hip...
weightwhat @WritingJoy My daughter never truly appreciated my potty song and dance I'd do for her. She's 8 now, so maybe I should try it again.
weightwhat @WritingJoy Just for the record, she still doesn't appreciate it. Artists are never truly appreciated during their lifetime.
weightwhat @Helenatrandom What did you do to yourself?
Helenatrandom @weightwhat Last week Saturday I dropped a 300 pound man on my right foot. It didn't swell, but it took a few days to turn blueish purple..
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Are you going to have a doctor take a look at it?
Helenatrandom @weightwhat I might. I hate to go in for nothing though... You know what I mean? If it's just bruised toes, there is nothing he can do
Helenatrandom @CandySteele If it swells any more or gets any more colorful, I may just give the doctor the privilege of seeing my nekkid foot
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Doctors would line up for that privilege!
Helenatrandom @weightwhat I KNOW! My feet are the hotttest part of my body. Really. There is a reason I must use three "t"s in "hottt"...
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Because 2 't's just wouldn't do your feet justice.
Helenatrandom @weightwhat But then, that was before the pretty colors and the swollen toe... I haven't figured out whether that adds or decreases value...
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Not really sure either. I mean, what happens when you mess with perfection?
Helenatrandom @candysteele @weightwhat 4 fractures, 3 toes
weightwhat @Helenatrandom Will this curb your 'dropping men on your feet' habit then?
kelybreez @Helenatrandom Put that man down right now! It's always funny until someone gets hurt!
Helenatrandom @kelybreez I know.... But at least HE didn't get hurt....
CandySteele @Helenatrandom Is it ok for you to walk on it?
Helenatrandom @CandySteele I'm supposed to stay off of it. And use my Momma's walker, though I think the cane would be better....
CandySteele @Helenatrandom either one would work - what ever makes it hurt the least
weightwhat @Helenatrandom I think you should just put your throne on a litter and get carried around everywhere by you man slaves.
br8kthru Pray for me please. I'm going soon to sing the national anthem & Alaska state song at a banquet. Never done either in public before! Ahhh!
weightwhat @br8kthru Will you be wearing your lucky sweater vest?
br8kthru @weightwhat no sweater vest today. Dang! I knew I forgot something! :)
weightwhat @br8kthru This is not looking good for you then. ;o)
br8kthru I made it! They may have been able to see my pit stains from the back row, but it went well! Thanks for the prayers!
weightwhat @br8kthru Was there ever really any doubt? About your singing, I mean. Not about whether or not they'd see your pit stains.
Hey, thanks for coming! Hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to tip your waitresses! Or me. Yeah, forget the waitresses. Just send money directly to me.