I don't know why anyone would be suspicious of me

The one-liners


I'm feeling very unfollowy today. Silence is not always golden, people.

I may or may not have taken on another alter ego last night.

mychiapet @CandySteele I can't believe you'd rather have chia poop than me.

RT @FatherKelly I like to drink hot chocolate at my window and constantly motion to the people shoveling my driveway that they "missed a spot."



The ones that are a little longer



okiewife Sick people need their rest, so goodnight y'all.

weightwhat @okiewife You're not that sick. Oh! You mean ill! Okay, off to bed with you then.



five_monkies I really should go to bed. But talking to SIL has been "informative". Never knew hubs liked parachute pants! LMAO And Jerry Curl.

weightwhat @five_monkies Who DOESN'T like parachute pants and Jheri curl?



weightwhat Why yes, there IS a twitter ho-down today! Are YOU in it? http://tinyurl.com/4qangmb

saphyreplatypus @weightwhat why yes, I am, and for flatulence none-the-less! ;-)

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Hey, everybody has to have a claim to fame.



The ones that are even longer


SBeeCreations @weightwhat Happy Monday?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Oxymoron?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Who are you calling a moron? Bit early, don't you think?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations It's never too early for morons.




SBeeCreations I didn't know there was a BoSa donuts in Tempe!

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Is that good or bad?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Both!!

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Mmmm... Doughnuts... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3ZcZ2h4Ths

And the 'why don't you post the whole conversation' ones



SBeeCreations I have no idea how many ounces BabyBee drinks in a 24 hour period. Need to know how much of a stash I have to have for next Wednesday-Thurs

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Do you keep formula on hand for emergencies?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat nope - I have none

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Any chance you could get some? I used to mix formula and breast milk together when I didn't have enough breast milk on hand.

kelybreez @weightwhat @SBeeCreations I'm so glad I get to follow this conversation. Pity those who don't follow you both.

duane_scott @kelybreez Me too, dude. @weightwhat and @sbeecreations know no limits.

weightwhat @duane_scott You have no idea.

duane_scott @weightwhat You have educated me on so many things... I'm not sure if I owe you or if you owe me... my innocence.

weightwhat @duane_scott Just givin' ya what ya need, whether you like it or not.

SBeeCreations @duane_scott @kelybreez @weightwhat for heaven's sake, it's just breastmilk. You'd have no problems talking about cow milk. That's weirder

dlrayburn @SBeeCreations @duane_scott did someone mention udders? @kelybreez @weightwhat

weightwhat @dlrayburn Remember Dusty, don't call them udders.

kelybreez @SBeeCreations @dlrayburn @duane_scott @weightwhat / Goodness, I go to LifeGroup and look what I miss! And I'm glad I missed it!

weightwhat @kelybreez Oh, c'mon Kely! With all those kids you've never had a breastmilk discussion? Really?

kelybreez @weightwhat Far too many. Never having another one would be fine by me.

weightwhat @kelybreez Do you suffer from lactation envy? Is that it?

kelybreez @weightwhat You take that back. I am lactation intolerant.

weightwhat @kelybreez Surely there must be a pill you can take for that. And yes, I called you Shirley.

kelybreez @weightwhat I refuse the pill. And don't call me Shirley.




SBeeCreations Wait, what? “@mychiapet: What? You don't like my chia pet? I see how you are.”

weightwhat @SBeeCreations How could you not like a chia pet?

okiewife @weightwhat Chia pets are too modern for me. I still have my pet rocks because they are so easy to care for.

weightwhat @okiewife You'd think so, but I managed to kill my pet rock. Such a sad story.

okiewife @weightwhat Are you sure it wasn't deliberate? You could have just given it to a poor homeless person.

weightwhat @okiewife Well, my mom told me that it went to live on a farm. Now that I'm a grown up, I know what that means...




WritingJoy Pajamas to the bus stop this morning. @weightwhat will be proud.

weightwhat @WritingJoy You know I am!

WritingJoy @weightwhat I'm basking in the glow of your approval right now. Almost brightens this gray gloomy day.

weightwhat @WritingJoy Well, I am Sweetness and Light™, so I spread sunshine wherever I go.

WritingJoy @weightwhat ::snort:: I just choked on my throat lozenge.

weightwhat @WritingJoy What are you trying to say?

WritingJoy @weightwhat that I need the Heimlich.




mychiapet @SBeeCreations What? You don't like my chia pet? I see how you are.

SBeeCreations Wait, what? “@mychiapet: What? You don't like my chia pet? I see how you are.”

mychiapet @SBeeCreations What did @mychiapet ever do to you?

SBeeCreations Nothing! Why are you picking on me? “@mychiapet: What did @mychiapet ever do to you?”

mychiapet @SBeeCreations You don't like to be picked? How about poked then? *poke poke poke*

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Did you see that I'm being harassed by a chia pet bot? Still?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations That bot sure is personal. Are you sure it's a bot?

mychiapet @SBeeCreations Who are you callin' a bot?!

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Nope! Not anymore!

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations Are you the reason "Ch Ch Ch Cha Chia" is now following me? HAHAHAHAHA

SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom Probably! I don't know why it started up with me, but now it won't stop! Guess I'll have to stop watering it

mychiapet @SBeeCreations No need to get all violent...

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations If you check out its followers, you'll see they are few. Also check out who Chia is following... JUST US!!! HAHAHAHAHa!

SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom HA! That is mighty suspicious! Must be one of us.... a mole!

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations A chia pet mole!

saphyreplatypus @SBeeCreations me thinks a certain person in WA may know a thing or two about said Chia. I'm looking at you @weightwhat! Lol!

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Wha...?

SBeeCreations @saphyreplatypus @weightwhat Cha cha cha chia!

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations Leave it to me to investigate who follows the Chia!!!

SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom I have to say, you are looking a little suspect!

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations Well, I know it's not me, and so does Wendy, er... I mean Chia!

ImAPennyPincher @Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations I think it's Wendy. She said she created a new profile the other day.

Helenatrandom @ImAPennyPincher @SBeeCreations I'm thinking the same thing, since Chia started following all her aliases (alii?) first!

ImAPennyPincher @Helenatrandom Yup.

SBeeCreations @ImAPennyPincher @Helenatrandom Ah ha! It must be Casey! Trying to throw me off the scent. Naturally, one would suspect @weightwhat - Tricky

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations Naturally!!!!

ImAPennyPincher @Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations I got a message from @mychiapet last night. I immediately thought it was Wendy. She's crazy enough to do it.

saphyreplatypus @ImAPennyPincher I do remember hearing Wendy speak of another "alter ego"

ImAPennyPincher @saphyreplatypus YES! I remember too. Glad someone else does.

Helenatrandom @ImAPennyPincher @SBeeCreations @mychiapet Yes, but then, so are any of us! But yes, I agree from the list of people Chia follows it is her

ImAPennyPincher @Helenatrandom 100% her.

ImAPennyPincher Good grief how many alter egos does @weightwhat have? Like 10??

SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom @ImAPennyPincher Yes, @mychiapet only seems to appear when @weightwhat is online

SBeeCreations @ImAPennyPincher No wonder she needs Tweetdeck to keep up with them! @weightwhat

saphyreplatypus @weightwhat oh do not even try to claim innocence, we have seen the mischief within.

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom @ImAPennyPincher @saphyreplatypus Wow, I go to lay down for a bit and you all gang up on me?! Shocking!!!

ImAPennyPincher @weightwhat You know it!

SBeeCreations @weightwhat @helenatrandom @imapennypincher @saphyreplatypus Feeling chia petty? ;P

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Wow... Y'all just have too much time on your hands, don't you? *snort* (@helenatrandom @imapennypincher @saphyreplatypus)

saphyreplatypus @weightwhat "the force is strong in this one" #mischief

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus *waving hand* This is not the chia pet you're looking for.

Why does my husband keep handing me milk?

If you read my Twitter Ho-down post yesterday (And why wouldn't you?), you'd have seen a Got Milk? commercial. When I went searching on youtube for that one, I came across this commercial as well:

Now can someone please explain to me why there's so much milk in my refrigerator?

Gone with the Tweet

The one-liners

Twitter is the adult way of having imaginary friends. (RT@GeneralGrevious)

I've developed positive feelings towards my captors. Love you, couch and Cheetos. (RT @badbanana)

Did you know that friskie originally meant "to fart silently?" I didn't until Sarah's mom learned it while reading a book. Read to achieve! (RT @jewda4)

What's the purpose of cookie jars? Who has cookies that stick around that long? #whyishouldnotbeleftaloneontwitter

Hey! When did I grow hair on my big toes? #whyishouldnotbeleftaloneontwitter

I was thinking I'd like to be eccentric in my old age. Look who's an overachiever. #whyishouldnotbeleftaloneontwitter

My new diet is heavy on local, seasonal foods. Mostly Valentine's Day candy from the Walgreens down the street. (RT @badbanana)

I asked my daughter to bring her books upstairs. This just in: It's the end of the world.

I'm craving a bowl of cereal, but I'm out of milk. Yup, my life's become one of those commercials.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat I know something you don't know -- I am not left-handed.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

Just once I'd like the chip on someone's shoulder to be a Pringle. (RT @juicymorsel)



The ones from my dog

CrazyGidgetDog @ImAPennyPincher I've shed on pretty much everything here at this house. Want me to come do your house next? Like @weightwhat, I'm a giver.

I just realized that I haven't been dragging my hiney on the carpet enough lately. It IS the gift that keeps on giving, you know.

I've heard there's been a complaint (@Helenatrandom) that I never tweet. Hello? Do you know how hard it is to type w/o opposable thumbs?

Shedding - it's what I do. Thinkin' of turning pro next year.


The ones that are a little bit longer

stretchmarkmama Who *did* steal the cookie from the cookie jar?

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything.



duane_scott RT @livitluvit: I have a zit *in* my eyebrow. #owwwwwwwwwwww / thanks for the update

weightwhat @duane_scott Hey, it's important. Let's try to be a bit more supportive here, huh? And by the way - I've got a zit on the side of my nose.

duane_scott @livitluvit @weightwhat I'll be supportive. Please keep me updated.



br8kthru Bowling! A special brand of sexy. :) http://ow.ly/i/7grl

weightwhat @br8kthru The bowling shoes or the bowed legs? 'Cause I'm thinkin' both.



kelybreez Tonight, for added spice, I'm wearing the leopard print Snuggie. Watching football. Manly.

weightwhat @kelybreez I thought you might be a wild man.



duane_scott I'm home from work. I'm just exhausted and borderline grumpy. Cheer me up? Do not send clowns.

weightwhat @duane_scott Too late. They're on their way. http://tinyurl.com/4fphtlh

weightwhat @makeadiff21 How's your morning so far?

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Very good. No whining yet!!!! The kids are doing well, too. Haha! And you?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 I'm waiting for my family to wake up so I can start whining. Yes, my whining needs an audience.



SBeeCreations Sadly, I have just realized that I've been wearing my DH's dress pants all day. At work. Yeah.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations It's okay. It's National Wear Your Husband's Pants Day.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat Phew!



The ones that are even longer

ImAPennyPincher @weightwhat Talking to the hubster.

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher Tell him hi for me. But don't explain who I am. Keeps 'em guessing.

ImAPennyPincher @weightwhat He knows of you. lol

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher You mean I'm not that crazy friend you don't mention in mixed company? I need to up my game.



SBeeCreations Not cool. Pretty sure I've got a fever now. I can haz break? Going to have to decline football at the uncle's. Was looking forward to food.

SBeeCreations And I'm done whining now. I'm sorry.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Really? That's all the whining you've got? Frankly, I expected more from you.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat What? You saying I'm a whiner?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations I'm saying your whining lacks zest and vigor.




Helenatrandom @weightwhat Good evening!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'm not sure why, but when I read your tweet in my head, you had a Dracula voice.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat That's good, because I was typing it in my Dracula voice. You are very perceptive!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom It must be that twins separated at birth thing we've got going.



WritingJoy I started a discussion forum on my blog. Will you stop by & contribute to the conversation? http://ow.ly/3FQP7

weightwhat @WritingJoy Would I do that to you?

WritingJoy @weightwhat Oooooo.... Why don't you just show me?

weightwhat @WritingJoy Okay, I'm sitting here staring at it and have no idea what to do with it.

weightwhat @WritingJoy And doesn't that sound like something that should be TWSS'd?



ImAPennyPincher Ever sit on the floor so long that you can't get up? Yeah me either.

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher For me that only takes about a tenth of a second. Yeah. Can't get up.

ImAPennyPincher @weightwhat My rear end is killing me! Oh geez... just let me do it. TWSS

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher *snort*



And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

duane_scott Come to "Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays Vol. 15" Thursday, January 20 from 12:00 am to 3:00 am. EVERYONE IS INVITED!

weightwhat @duane_scott Why is it from 12 - 3 AM?

duane_scott @weightwhat Pleasantly Disturbed? Does it say that? It's that whole day!

weightwhat @duane_scott That's what it says. It appears our disturbance must be limited to those hours only. Not sure how I'm gonna work that one...

duane_scott @weightwhat LOL. It is now updated to 12:30 AM to 11:30 PM. Can you maintain all your disturbdness in that time frame or should I extend it?

weightwhat @duane_scott My disturbedness knows no bounds.

duane_scott I know. Hold me.

kelybreez @duane_scott @weightwhat Oh come on. Her disturbitude is full time. She was saying there's no way to crowd it into just 3 hours.



CandySteele Oats with flax & chia, sunflower butter, dollop of raspberry jam, toasted almonds & agave. #starving

weightwhat @CandySteele You're having a chia pet for breakfast? Is it the chia sheep? Or the chia clown?

CandySteele @weightwhat It's seeds, before they grow into clowns or sheep. When life was less... chia petty.

weightwhat @CandySteele Such humble beginnings. And now they'll never live out their dream of becoming a chia turtle, will they?

CandySteele @weightwhat Never. Never will become garage sale fodder. That's a good thing, Wendy.

weightwhat @CandySteele Yes, but now you could have chia poop. Which is worse?

CandySteele @weightwhat The chia pet. Definitely.

weightwhat @CandySteele Not really feelin' the chia pet love here, Candy.



SBeeCreations @diam0ndhead94 ((jugs))

SBeeCreations @diam0ndhead94 crap. I meant ((hugs)). I'm so sorry

makeadiff21 @SBeeCreations Ok. I'm rolling on the floor now. My hubby is like, what is going on...

SBeeCreations @makeadiff21 I don't know. That was quite a typo. Dare I say it was worthy of @candysteele?

makeadiff21 @SBeeCreations I don't know, but obviously Wendy and Kathy and other snarky lurkers are not around to see it.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Oh, I saw @SBeeCreations trying to hoist her jugs upon unsuspecting victims.



five_monkies Military School suggestions anyone?

WendyDarlingLtd @five_monkies No, but have you considered a velcro wall? ;o)

five_monkies @WendyDarlingLtd LMAO! Okay, now I need to know where to buy bulk velcro!

WendyDarlingLtd @five_monkies If there's no one selling it already, we should go into business! And the moms of the world would rejoice...

five_monkies @WendyDarlingLtd Definitely. That and bulk duct tape.

WendyDarlingLtd @five_monkies I find that a rubber mallet is good to have, too. A good whack to your forehead and you won't care what the kids are doing.

five_monkies @WendyDarlingLtd ROFLMAO! At first I thought you were going to say to whack the kids with it.

WendyDarlingLtd @five_monkies Oddly, child protective services frowns upon that. They clearly don't have kids if that thought never crossed their minds.



SBeeCreations The Sarah Bee Daily is out! http://bit.ly/gsKH57

Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations Hi Sarah!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'm pretty sure that was an auto tweet. :o(

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Her car is tweeting?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yup. She has one of those future cars, I think.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I used to love watching Knightrider when I was a kid...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I was thinkin' more Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.



weightwhat Ever have a fart that keeps going and going? Uh, yeah. Me neither.

ImAPennyPincher #Didyoureallyjusttweetthat

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher #itslikeyoudontevenknowme

saphyreplatypus @weightwhat no, but my dog does #that'smystoryandI'mstickintoit

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Oh, I totally believe you. #iwouldbelieveyoumoreifyouhadadog

fart_robot RT @weightwhat Ever have a fart that keeps going and going? Uh, yeah. Me neither. FART ROBOT APPROVES.



weightwhat Good morning folks!

kelybreez @weightwhat I don't know how "folk" I am, but good morning anyway.

weightwhat @kelybreez Someone's being difficult and it's you.

kelybreez @weightwhat I'm not listening to you whine, young lady.

weightwhat @kelybreez Are you going to put your fingers in your ears and say, "LALALALA! I'm not listening!"?

kelybreez @weightwhat ... No actually I can't hear you b/c I've got my fingers in my eyes so I can't hear your tweets.

weightwhat @kelybreez Like I said, difficult.

kelybreez @weightwhat Ppppppttttttttt!

weightwhat @kelybreez Troublemaker.

kelybreez @weightwhat Pppppppttttttttt even more vociferously!

weightwhat @kelybreez Oh yeah?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl8H-rm6kt4

kelybreez @weightwhat Ok. You win. I have nothing with which to defeat a defender on the castle wall, spouting such effective vituperations.

weightwhat @kelybreez You should never test me, never get involved in a land war in Asia and never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.



weightwhat I just woke up from a nap. You needed to know that.

kelybreez @weightwhat Why did I need to know that? So you could start in with the land wars and the castle wall storming and stuff again?

weightwhat @kelybreez I'm just trying to give you a fighting chance, Kely.

kelybreez @weightwhat How so? U defeated me soundly, & threw a holocaust cloak over me.

weightwhat @kelybreez I just want you to feel like you're doing well.

kelybreez @weightwhat Ooh... Extremely nice. That's the first time ever -- EVER -- I've heard someone quote that line. I've got to alert @katdish.

kelybreez @weightwhat @katdish Have you EVER heard anyone quote this one? That's going deep into the insides of Princess Bride, right there. Well played, Wendy!!!

weightwhat @kelybreez Why thank you. I love me some Fezzik.

I'm perfectly normal

So Duane Scott has decided to bring back Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays. Last night on the Twitter, he was pestering me to write something for it. Like I'm the poster child for Disturbed. Frankly, I think he's crazy. I'm perfectly normal. Perfectly. Normal. What could I possibly write about? Yeah, I've got nothin'. But I suppose I could humor him and wing it.

I've been sick for almost two weeks now with an evil virus. EVIL! Let me tell ya, it's been kickin' my butt. And really? One person should never have to contend with so much phlegm. Yes, I'm phlegmish.

I wonder if the Flemish are especially phlegmish. And do they appreciate being compared to phlegm?

Phlegm. It's one of those words that sounds exactly like what it is. Phlegm. Yeah, that's pretty disgusting. Know what else sounds like what it is? Bounce. Go on, say it. Bounce! Ooo! And boing! Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!

Aw man! That makes me think of Animaniacs. I loved that show. Especially Pinky and the Brain. Why did they have to go and cancel it?

I'll tell you why they cancelled it: Because the networks are out to get me. It's true. If there's a show that I love and I happen to mention it out loud, it's the kiss of death for the show. Clearly, the networks have spies tracking me closely. Wonderful shows get taken off after a season or two, yet shows like Alf go on forever? Really people? Alf?!

I think Costco is in cahoots with the networks, too. Probably splitting the bill for the spies. Hey, times are tough now. Costco lures you in with all those wonderful free samples. Gets you hooked on something completely yummy. Makes you dependent on it. Craving it. And when you go back to get more? BAM! It's gone. They've stopped selling it. Why Costco, why?! Oh yeah, I know why. They're out to get me.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I couldn't come up with anything for your little carnival, Duane. Maybe given time, I can come up with something. It'll be tough though, since I'm perfectly normal. And content. We all have our burdens to bear.

So chic!

Happy Saturday, folks! Ready for some silliness? I know you are! Wait for it...



You're welcome.

Make yourself comfy - it's the Twitter Ho-down

The one-liners

I quit following my dreams. They weren't following me back. (RT @GeneralGrevious)

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. - Mitch Hedberg

Chariots of Embers #LessAmbitiousFilms

Texas Chainsaw Woodcarving #LessAmbitiousFilms

Cowardheart #LessAmbitiousFilms

The Good, the Not-So-Good and the Slightly Unattractive #LessAmbitiousFilms

The Bride of Frankenstein's Second Cousin Bernie #LessAmbitiousFilms

To Slightly Injure a Mockingbird #LessAmbitiousFilms

Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV and Rocky V #LessAmbitiousFilms

I'm tellin' ya, the rubber mallet can solve most of the world's problems.

RT @badbanana It's that time of year in Nebraska when the ground is too frozen for shallow graves and your irritating neighbor knows it.

Just read a blog post about how to clean your bedroom in only 28 steps. I have a better solution - shut the door.

Just for grins, I think I'll switch over to one of my alter egos now. Yes, I have more than one. And?

RT @stretchmarkmama Josh Groban sings Kanye West's tweets:

The ones that are a little bit longer

kelybreez @weightwhat Wendy, you better behave.

weightwhat @kelybreez Why should I try something new now?



jewda4 The woman in front of us at Target almost fell down when she turned to look at the candy bars. She seemed to have otherwise perfect balance.

weightwhat @jewda4 Candy bars seem to have that effect on me, too. Got whiplash from a Twix once.



SBeeCreations @dlrayburn @duane_scott Can't say I've ever used a Snuggie for nefarious purposes @weightwhat

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Why are you looking at me like that? (@dlrayburn @duane_scott)



pagan43 @weightwhat Hmmm , seems as tho i have single handedly eradicated several huge roadside attraction giant coffee cups. #ohthepower

weightwhat @pagan43 You know, you really should use your power for good instead of evil.



LaurelsZoo I shall rise, but I refuse to shine.

weightwhat @LaurelsZoo So there.



WritingJoy I am going to attempt sanding all the marker, crusted food, & boogers off our dining table today. #bewarewomanwithpowertools #coffeeclub

weightwhat @WritingJoy And I suppose you'll be blaming the kids for putting those things on the table? Hmmm...?



weightwhat Good morning all.

LostInPortland @weightwhat Morning! (not sure what's good about it! lol)

weightwhat @LostInPortland I was momentarily blinded by my giant cup of coffee. That's my only explanation.





The ones that are even longer

weightwhat Okay, who wants to entertain me?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Dadadaddada....dadadadadada...da da da da da da da daa YEAH!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Should I applaud? Or just throw money?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Whatever floats your boat!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom My boat stopped floating a long time ago...



SBeeCreations Texted this pic to MIL. She thought it was scan of one of DH, lol. So much for the milkman!

The_BMG @SBeeCreations Unless your DH has an identical twin who is a milkman!

weightwhat @The_BMG @SBeeCreations Ooo! The plot thickens!

SBeeCreations @weightwhat @the_bmg da da dunh!!



dlrayburn @SBeeCreations After @br8kthru 's post on being Fearless maybe he will join us in the Speedo Challenge Video

br8kthru @dlrayburn @SBeeCreations say what now?

weightwhat @br8kthru I think it all started with @dlrayburn in a Speedo... Can't confirm or deny that it was a crochet Speedo...

br8kthru @weightwhat that's a double yikes. No offense, @dlrayburn



kelybreez You follow me, and you're in a swimsuit in your profile pic, you're outta here so fast ya gonna bust ya speedometer...

weightwhat @kelybreez So @dlrayburn shouldn't change his avatar to his Speedo pic?

kelybreez @weightwhat Let's see... How can I best answer that question?... No.

weightwhat @kelybreez Because what has been seen cannot be unseen?



LaurelsZoo Okay, the next person to track mud in my house dies. I'm not being mean, just purely practical. Others will then remember to wipe their feet

WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo What about dog poop? Can they track in dog poop?

LaurelsZoo @WendyDarlingLtd *cocking shotgun*

WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo Wow. Most people only prepare for the zombie apocalypse with that kind of vigor.

LaurelsZoo @WendyDarlingLtd I will survive the zombie apocalypse. I run faster than my husband. And I'm willing to trip him.



CandySteele @Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations Well you guys are going to have to think of a funky name for me cuz I'm not going w "Granny"

katdish @weightwhat @CandySteele My kids call my mom Ga Ga. And no, she doesn't wear meat as clothing.

CandySteele @katdish @weightwhat What do you call one who wears veggies?

weightwhat @CandySteele Salad?




And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

CandySteele Drinking warm ginger ale in front of the fire, ushering in the New Year in yoga pants and a snuggie. #lifeisgood

weightwhat @CandySteele Why is your ginger ale warm?

CandySteele @weightwhat Because it's been sitting here for an hour and the fire is hot.

weightwhat @CandySteele Ah, I see. Think you'll make it a regular thing?

CandySteele @weightwhat Nah. It's flat, too. Trying something different next year. #2buckchuck

weightwhat @CandySteele You don't like flat things, huh? *snort*

CandySteele @weightwhat You trying to bait me? I see you resurrected the infamous hashtag in your post. That seems like years ago.

weightwhat @CandySteele Would I do a thing like that? #goshitshot



katdish We ordered pizza. It was delivered. We paid for it and then we ate pizza.

Helenatrandom @katdish Can't you jazz that story up with an alien or a sparkly vampire or something?

katdish @Helenatrandom All of the ingredients had slid off the pizza.

Helenatrandom @katdish Where's the sparkly alien vampire in all this?

katdish @Helenatrandom Maybe the driver swerved to avoid hitting the shiny alien vampire.

weightwhat @katdish @katdish Actually, he swerved to hit some passing clowns. Clearly @katdish didn't tip him enough.



kelybreez @Helenatrandom @SBeeCreations @weightwhat Can you tweet in tongues?

SBeeCreations @kelybreez @Helenatrandom @weightwhat Sure! :Þ

weightwhat @kelybreez Slielwpspa!

kelybreez That's not tongues. That Finnish. Can't pull that one on me.

weightwhat @kelybreez Drats.

kelybreez @weightwhat When'd you learn Finnish anyway? Was it that time your were in the Fins' Ski Corps & got captured when Germany invaded?

weightwhat @kelybreez Who told you about that?!



LaurelsZoo hmmm...take a shower, freeze, and be socially acceptable...or stay warm and alone for the rest of the day. Decisions decisions.....

LaurelsZoo I decided to go with cold and socially acceptable. You're welcome.

WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo You make me sad.

LaurelsZoo @WendyDarlingLtd Because I caved in to social norm?

WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo Because you had the chance to stay in jammies and you just threw it away. Have I taught you nothing?!

LaurelsZoo @WendyDarlingLtd who said I didn't just put on clean jammies?

WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo Now you're just throwing me a bone, aren't you?

LaurelsZoo @WendyDarlingLtd At top speed. Overhand.

WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo I see how you are.



WendyDarlingLtd @LaurelsZoo Wow. Most people only prepare for the zombie apocalypse with that kind of vigor.

WritingJoy @WendyDarlingLtd Rub it in. :P I was dressed up and out the door at 6am. Counting down the minutes til son's nap. Which means mine too.

WendyDarlingLtd @WritingJoy Why would you do something like that?! It's just wrong!

WritingJoy @WendyDarlingLtd I got paid and fed breakfast. I'm easy.

WendyDarlingLtd @WritingJoy I've heard that about you.

WritingJoy @WendyDarlingLtd From who? Er, I mean, you have?



Helenatrandom @WendyDarlingLtd Your alter ego isn't on any of my lists.... I had to add it now!

WendyDarlingLtd @Helenatrandom GAAAAA!!!! What about @crazygidgetdog? Did she make your list? You wouldn't want to hurt her feelings now, would you?

Helenatrandom @WendyDarlingLtd @crazygidgetdog She hardly ever tweets..

WendyDarlingLtd @Helenatrandom Yeah, because she's not on your lists.

Helenatrandom @WendyDarlingLtd She is now. That has been rectified!

WendyDarlingLtd @Helenatrandom I think she's cancelling her plan to piddle in your shoes now.

Helenatrandom @WendyDarlingLtd That's good. usually don't follow tweeters who piddle in my shoes....

WendyDarlingLtd @Helenatrandom I'll have to make a note of that.

Helenatrandom @WendyDarlingLtd Why, were you planning on peeing in my shoes, too?

WendyDarlingLtd @Helenatrandom Ummmm...

WendyDarlingLtd @Helenatrandom Look! Something shiny!

katdish @WendyDarlingLtd Thanks, Wendy. Will you be tweeting under this identity today?

Helenatrandom @katdish @WendyDarlingLtd Not only that, but she is planning to piddle in people's shoes. Be warned...

WendyDarlingLtd @katdish Depends on which way the wind is blowing. I've tweeted under all 3 of my personalities today. Stupid wind can't make up it's mind.

katdish @Helenatrandom Different twitter handle, same Wendy.

WendyDarlingLtd @katdish It appears that all of my alter egos are a bubble off.