Thursday, January 20, 2011

I'm perfectly normal


So Duane Scott has decided to bring back Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays. Last night on the Twitter, he was pestering me to write something for it. Like I'm the poster child for Disturbed. Frankly, I think he's crazy. I'm perfectly normal. Perfectly. Normal. What could I possibly write about? Yeah, I've got nothin'. But I suppose I could humor him and wing it.

I've been sick for almost two weeks now with an evil virus. EVIL! Let me tell ya, it's been kickin' my butt. And really? One person should never have to contend with so much phlegm. Yes, I'm phlegmish.

I wonder if the Flemish are especially phlegmish. And do they appreciate being compared to phlegm?

Phlegm. It's one of those words that sounds exactly like what it is. Phlegm. Yeah, that's pretty disgusting. Know what else sounds like what it is? Bounce. Go on, say it. Bounce! Ooo! And boing! Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!

Aw man! That makes me think of Animaniacs. I loved that show. Especially Pinky and the Brain. Why did they have to go and cancel it?

I'll tell you why they cancelled it: Because the networks are out to get me. It's true. If there's a show that I love and I happen to mention it out loud, it's the kiss of death for the show. Clearly, the networks have spies tracking me closely. Wonderful shows get taken off after a season or two, yet shows like Alf go on forever? Really people? Alf?!

I think Costco is in cahoots with the networks, too. Probably splitting the bill for the spies. Hey, times are tough now. Costco lures you in with all those wonderful free samples. Gets you hooked on something completely yummy. Makes you dependent on it. Craving it. And when you go back to get more? BAM! It's gone. They've stopped selling it. Why Costco, why?! Oh yeah, I know why. They're out to get me.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I couldn't come up with anything for your little carnival, Duane. Maybe given time, I can come up with something. It'll be tough though, since I'm perfectly normal. And content. We all have our burdens to bear.


Anonymous said...

I feel SO much better knowing you are perfectly normal. That means there's still hope for me. (snicker)

SarahBeeCreations said...

It's so true about Costco. It's the hair net ladies - you have to watch out for them.

Anonymous said...

Where to start? I have a 'notepad' on my phone where I keep ideas for blog posts, one of them is 'post phlegmatic stress syndrome.' I still love the thought of it, but can't figure out anything to write with it.

I loved animaniacs and I too love onomatopoeia (words that sound like their meaning). And as for shows being cancelled that you call out your approval for--you need to think of it in the opposite. Say you like the ones you hate and watch them get cancelled. Please start with Two and a Half Men... please.

Lastly, I know what you mean about Costco. It's such a pain when they don't carry the stuff they hooked you on. Ridiculous and preposterous!

Ok this comment is long enough. See ya, Wendy the Normal.

Helen said...

I agree with Jason. Say you like the shows you hate. Start with American Idol, and don't tell anyone it was my idea...

Casey said...

You are like the most normal person I know, even though I don't "know" you know you. But if I did "know" you, I know you would be normal. You know?

Sam's does the same thing. I bought homestyle egg noodles once, then BOOM they don't carry them anymore. *sigh*

Bun Bun Rabbit said...

Thank you for checking out my guest post on Helen's blog. Are there any plans for Crazy Gidget Dog to be doing a guest post on your blog?

Duane Scott said...

This is hilarious! :)

Costco is out to get you? I'm sorry!!!

And no, you are not normal.

Don't try to undersell yourself. :D