*insert witty introduction here* Now that that's out of the way...
My doctor thinks I'm paranoid. He didn't say it, but I knew that's what he was thinking. (RT @funnyoneliners)
Going to go shower now. You're welcome.
It really is all about the cheese, isn't it?
No, that's not a 3rd eyeball sprouting in the middle of my forehead. #auntfloscallingcard
Alright, who ate the last of the %#$^! chocolate?! #auntfloscallingcard
No, Costco DIDN'T have a bigger bag of chocolate bars than this one. #auntfloscallingcard
redclaydiaries Of 2 sick kids, 1 got MUCH better during day, & 1 got much worse. Abby slept thru dinner & had a fever of 101. AND I think I'm getting sick.
katdish Snort! I just deleted a spam comment from "naked gymnast". Now there's a niche market.
Blah, blah, blah. *insert seemingly heartfelt but actually snarky message here* See you next week.