Happy Blogaversary to me!

Happy Blogaversary to me! Yup, I've been writing (or neglecting) my blog for the past 2 years now. Can you believe it? So let's celebrate with a Twitter Ho-down post, huh? Oh, and feel free to send large gifts.

The one-liners

There aren't many Halloween carols, so I usually just stand outside my neighbor's window and hum the Jaws theme. (RT @badbanana)

Nothing tastes better than losing weight feels. Except doughnuts. (RT @thepioneerwoman)

Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger. (RT @derbyjames)

Time to go heed the call of the wild laundry basket. If you don't hear from me by tomorrow, please send help. Preferrably someone who irons.

My daughter wants me to tweet that she's braiding my hair. She wants it to look like it's wacky hair day. I don't know where she gets it.



The ones I may or may not have tweeted in DM's - I admit to nothing


Someone's being difficult and it's you.

I am sick and twisted that way.

I know all about your penchant for man candy.

And yes, bread and milk. And maybe a wonky Santa.

Make sure you grab some storm chocolate, too. One can never be too careful.

Try 'flibbity-gibbit'.

Now where's my dang scepter?!

My eyes! My eyes!



The ones that are a little bit longer

emptynestegg @weightwhat hey I want to blog any tips?

weightwhat @emptynestegg First, drill a large hole in your head...



dlrayburn RT @weightwhat: The new Twitter Ho-down is here! http://tinyurl.com/2asm67e //I made it! I made it! Oh wait..what? Is that a good thing?

weightwhat @dlrayburn Of course it is, Dusty. And you barely even needed to call your wife after reading it.



stretchmarkmama Let's start this Friday out with a little Hitch: http://t.co/aKtt759

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama I think the writers must have seen my husband dancing to get their ideas...

kelybreez Isn't it amazing how the simplest statements can start the most interesting conversations on here?

weightwhat @kelybreez That never happens when I'm around. Oh, wait...



SBeeCreations I'm trying to smile at people more this week.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations A friendly smile? Or an "I could kill you in your sleep" smile?

kelybreez @duane_scott @weightwhat Ok, yall, gotta go to staff meeting... No more rhyming, I mean it!

weightwhat @kelybreez Anybody got a peanut?



dlrayburn Maybe I will lose followers over this, but: God is not about sports. He is about Life. #justsayin May God's passion be mine.

weightwhat @dlrayburn How can you say such a thing?! That's just madness! Oh, wait. I don't like sports. Carry on then.



kelybreez @weightwhat Say something that will change our lives.

weightwhat @kelybreez Plastics.



piercesmomma If Twitter was a person, I would totally make out with him. Or her. I don't discriminate.

weightwhat @piercesmomma Yeah, I've heard about girls like you. You're a Twitter Ho, aren'tcha? I knew I liked you for a reason.



br8kthru @weightwhat yeah, I'm sorting mail & about to run to the bank. James Bond ain't got nothin' on me.

weightwhat @br8kthru You are an international man of mystery.

br8kthru @weightwhat yes, it just happens to be a scooby doo mystery.



redclaydiaries So somehow I published 2 blog posts today. Now playing on my blog: The Wetzel Halloween Rap: http://bit.ly/drQpsE

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Are you bringing on the 4 horsemen?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I guess I am. Watch out for the white horse. He's cranky.




The ones that are even longer


jewda4 RT @thisisclong: - you can buy your very own casket from Walmart: http://bit.ly/aqjmXK // my family better honor my memory better than this

weightwhat @jewda4 Can you believe that none of them are available in stores?

jewda4 @weightwhat that is weird. I would think they would be somewhere between the underwear and the snack foods.

katdish @weightwhat Your balloon animal discussion w/Jason was awesome: http://bit.ly/ckxYsf

weightwhat @katdish That @br8kthru is a funny guy!

br8kthru @weightwhat You know I do what I can. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Please don't make me get out the TWSS's again...



saphyreplatypus GAH! the pan ate my cake! I will just have to make cake balls out of that one and start over again.

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus So it's a boy cake then?

saphyreplatypus @weightwhat it is now, poor thing is over blessed with abundance though!

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus I don't hear the cake complaining.




The ones where I wasn't even there, yet I was

dlrayburn @duane_scott You note you were the primary subject of @weightwhat 's Ho down?

duane_scott For some reason, I'm always portrayed in @weightwhat's Twitter-Ho-Down posts as really stupid. This would hurt me if I had feelings.

kelybreez @duane_scott @weightwhat Just claim you were acting stupid on purpose, which makes you appear brilliant. Only you'll know if you're stupid.

duane_scott @kelybreez the problem is im too stupid to even figure out how to fake being stupid. :) @weightwhat

kelybreez @duane_scott No, you do a very convincing job of it.



katdish @kelybreez Aren't you glad I introduced you to @weightwhat?

kelybreez @katdish That was you?! I wondered who started this madness.

katdish @kelybreez I'm like the Kevin Bacon of the interrwebs.



katdish Think nothing scares @billycoffey? Oh, think again: http://bit.ly/b1ypnG

Helenatrandom @katdish I haven't read the post yet. Is it about @weightwhat and me taking over the world?

katdish @Helenatrandom Oh, right. No, but I'm quite sure he should add that to the list.



And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

weightwhat The new Twitter Ho-down is here! The new Twitter Ho-down is here! http://tinyurl.com/2asm67e

saphyreplatypus yee-haw! happy dance time!

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus I have to say that I'm kinda scared or your happy dance...

saphyreplatypus @weightwhat it is always a good idea to keep a safe distance ; )

weightwhat @saphyreplatypus All that flailing...

dlrayburn @br8kthru Just be sure to keep your eyes on Jesus...else you will pull a Peter.

br8kthru @dlrayburn okay, got to be a better way to say that than 'pulling a peter' -ha!

weightwhat @br8kthru What did @dlrayburn pull of Peter's?!

br8kthru @weightwhat @dlrayburn exactly. Sounds a little scary to me.

dlrayburn @weightwhat @br8kthru You are always lurking and looking for #Ho-down material aren't ya?

weightwhat @dlrayburn I admit to nothing.

dlrayburn 867 - 5309

Helenatrandom @dlrayburn Whatcha doing postin' Jenny's number like that for all to see! Like things hadn't been crazy enough for her already!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom That @dlrayburn is a troublemaker, I tell ya!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I guess so. Poor Jenny. 28 years ago that song wrecked havoc in her life. Now she relives it every time VH1 has a special..

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Then, as if that isn't bad enough, @dlrayburn tweets her number to the whole world. When will this madness end for her?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Next thing you know, she'll be saying, "Papa don't preach" because his angel is the centerfold. It's just a downward spiral.

katdish You've heard of eye of the tiger? I give you...shirt of the tiger. http://plixi.com/p/53098825

weightwhat @katdish I can die happy now.

katdish @weightwhat @BigMama247 I had a temporary flashback to 1979.

weightwhat @katdish Did you feel the need to feather your hair?

katdish @weightwhat I was wishing I had my old curling iron.

weightwhat @katdish That'll teach you for leaving the house unprepared.

katdish @weightwhat Who knew? Guess you can never be too prepared.

weightwhat @katdish Yup. Milk, bread, curling iron. It's important.

katdish @kelybreez I don't think you're a loser, but you probably won't ever understand some of my tweets.

kelybreez @katdish Yeah but I'm used to that b/c lots of my tweets are ununderstandable.

weightwhat @kelybreez Ain't that the truth.

kelybreez @weightwhat Everyone in Europe & Northeast & Northwest U.S. knows that the truth is relative. So ain't that the truth isn't understandable.

weightwhat @kelybreez There you go again.

kelybreez @weightwhat You're so 3 hours ago.

weightwhat @kelybreez You have no idea.

jim4man @Pastor_T: @dlrayburn: @duane_scott My wife does not let me wear my speedo in public. So you have a speedo that you wear in private? #TMI

duane_scott @jim4man ya... I don't think u want to ask @dlrayburn if he wears speedos. His answers are scary

dlrayburn @duane_scott watch it bro. Or this guy may yet make an appearance: http://yfrog.com/6hmmmvtj

duane_scott If u wear this costume, I'll...

weightwhat @duane_scott You'll what?

duane_scott @weightwhat I'll try to touch the udders. I think @dlrayburn would be VERY weirded out.

weightwhat @duane_scott I'm sure @dlrayburn would have to call his wife after that.

dlrayburn I would definitely have to call my wife.

duane_scott @dlrayburn @weightwhat is this a rule I need to know about out something? I have to call my wife before I touch udders?

dlrayburn @duane_scott There are so many rules...but you have to learn them as you go...takes all the fun out of it to know them in advance.

duane_scott @dlrayburn I'm going to write a book and title it, "Rules of Marriage" Tip #1. Don't touch udders without wife's permission.

dlrayburn @duane_scott Actually rule #1 is don't ever refer to them as udders when talking to your bride. #justsayin

duane_scott @dlrayburn Oh, that wasn't a hidden meaning. When I say udders, I mean udders. #seriously

dlrayburn @duane_scott Rule #2 Do not tell your pregnant bride that her she reminds you of those little troll dolls.

duane_scott @dlrayburn HA! I once wrote a post about troll dolls. #believeit

dlrayburn @duane_scott I have more, but I figured I would stop before drawing the attention of @weightwhat #believeit

weightwhat @dlrayburn You and @duane_scott are talking about udders and troll dolls. What's to draw attention?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Helen!!! Tomorrow is my blogaversary. I think I'll do something totally whacky, like a Twitter Ho-down post.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat YAAYYYY!!!!! I should do a THDP, too, especially since I haven't Twik or Tweeted much, but I've been running around today and

Helenatrandom @weightwhat will be tomorrow, too.... I really should straighten out my priorities, no?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I know! Twitter first, life second. Get with it, huh?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat But if I have no life, what will I tweet about? I must live so that I can tweet.... (That doesn't sound obsessive at all!)

weightwhat @Helenatrandom What? Now we're not enough for you?! I see how you are.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat But what will I tweet to you if I do nothing but tweet?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Well, there's always our world domination plans...

Well there ya go! Did you enjoy my Blogaversary celebration? I thought you would. Now just leave the large gifts as you slowly back away...