Get yourself nice and comfy. You're gonna be here a while.
I have two guys pressure washing my decks, and by "pressure washing my decks" I mean "pressure washing my decks." Sorry to disappoint. (RT @AuntMarvel)
The new Ho-down post is done! It's freakishly short. TWSS.
Cheetos. The breakfast of champions. Champions of what, I'm just not sure.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? (RT @forces2)
There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots. (RT @BIGE8UP)I just found the present that I'd lost that was supposed to be for my husband's birthday. In July.
The ones I may or may not have tweeted in DM's - I admit to nothing
That was truly disturbing.
Okay, gotta go get my one comfy bra out of the dryer now so I can go shopping for chicken feed. #noreallyiamnotahick
Someone put a giant bag of Cheetos in front of me and I can't stop eating them. I'm not sayin' who that someone is.
I told you it would hurt. If it doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right. Strange, but true.
Good to know I haven't completely lost my marbles.
C'mon! Squeeze the Charmin!
Someone's being difficult and it's you.
Doesn't everybody like to get a heavy breathing call close to midnight?
You'd think they'd be used to it by now...
Much easier when you're close enough to slap 'em up side the head.
Can I offer you a wedgie then?
Just so you know, I'm raising an eyebrow at you.
1. Raspberry is really hot pink. 2. It leads to raspberry berets. 3. Which leads to Prince, the little purple freak.
Oh, the humanity!
Then he won't be suspecting it when I smack him upside the head... Excellent.
They have bumpers. I like bumpers.Maybe I should start referring to myself in the royal 'we' form. Or perhaps in the third person. Hmmm... We will ponder this.
The ones that are a little bit longer
weightwhat I'm here! I know. You're thrilled.
weightwhat @GretchenSaalbac Would you like a paper bag to breathe into?
SBeeCreations @Helenatrandom I could use some teacherly advice. LO is *still* talking in class. Punishment at home isn't working. Any suggestions?
stretchmarkmama Put a dead spider in the toilet today. Thus providing my boys with some good, wholesome fun.
dlrayburn My only comment would end up on circus...I plead the fifth.
weightwhat @saphyreplatypus Yes, it's the right thing to do. Gives people a chance to gird their loins.
The ones that are even longer
marni71 Two grasshoppers are mating on the window screen by my desk. They've been at this for AN HOUR. Kudos little grasshoppers. ;-)
dlrayburn I can't stop looking at it...What type of person thinks to make this?
weightwhat @WritingJoy I think someone is just jealous because she hasn't been in the Ho-down for a while...
Helenatrandom My newest pot at random musings: Congratulations DS! And Happy Pleasantly Disturbed... http://t.co/cqY7AUL
Lindatweetsalot @weightwhat mad skills....The MADDEST!
And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones
sarahmsalter @weightwhat I'm sorry you're awake and sore. Was it those ninja spider monkeys I sent to entertain you before I get there?
Hey! You made it! And your eyes are only slightly glazed over... Uh... Yeah... You might want to go have that looked at...