The tweet of great price

Today's Twitter Ho-down has tested my patience. Twitter wouldn't show me all the tweets that I'd marked as favorites, so I had to go searching through many people's profiles to piece things together. Did you feel like you were being spied on? Yeah, you totally were. If I missed anyone's brilliance this week, I'm sorry. Feel free to blame Twitter. Or Katdish. Whatever.

The one-liners

I just bought an accordion. Expect big, big things. (RT @mrdavehill)

RT @Whiffies Warning: this may very well be as far as the Internet goes. http://j.mp/dvcTfd Proceed with caution.

RT @redclaydiaries Grover is the Old Spice Monster: http://youtu.be/zkd5dJIVjgM. Awesome!

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for a Klondike bar. (RT @TedInJest)

weightwhat Okay, they used a poster I made over at Demotivational Posters... As always, be warned. http://tinyurl.com/28bxqfb

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. (RT @TheRustedChain)

I had a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard at @DairyQueen today. Have I died and gone to Heaven? You betcha! #allotherflavorsaredeadtomenow

weightwhat @gabbysherri is here?! I thought I heard the pitter patter of little high-heeled feet...

My husband and daughter are having a burping contest. I'm so proud.

Look at her butt. Now look at mine. Now back to her butt. Now back to mine. That's what my butt should look like ... I'm on a bike. (RT @TJIChick)

The medical profession and I agree to disagree on how to classify the French dip sandwich. I say superfood. (RT @badbanana)




The ones that are a little bit longer

muchl8r I. AM. Scheming. Get ready.

weightwhat @muchl8r Is it a 'stockpile a month's worth of food and water' kind of scheming? Or a 'gird your loins' kind of scheming?

muchl8r @weightwhat a little bit of both. I might have canned goods in a barn that I'm fortifying somewhere.....



muchl8r This week was one long train wreck. Fortunately, my God is amazing and has it under control and I'm watching zombie movies with the guys!!!

weightwhat @muchl8r Remember: Aim for the head.



WritingJoy First dance class without the boy fumigating the entire building with his poop-stench. Miracles do happen.

weightwhat @WritingJoy I'm sure that everyone around you thanks you.



br8kthru My daughter eating her fortune cookie stopped abruptly, 'I can't find my paper. I think I ate it.' sounds about right. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Clearly you taught her your cookie eating skills.



weightwhat @fishythoughts Shark Bait is on the twitter?! Clearly it is the end of days.

fishythoughts @weightwhat - I'm just here to be snobbish and obnoxious.

weightwhat @fishythoughts Those are your spiritual gifts afterall.



redclaydiaries Herp derp. Spam comment my blog just got. #huh?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Hey, I worked really hard on that one. #sounappreciated



SBeeCreations
@weightwhat yep. So I've got a huge deadline on Thursday & I still have lots to go. Yet, I'm in bed & not doing it.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat by "it" I mean my project not it it

weightwhat @SBeeCreations *snort*



weightwhat @billycoffey Shouldn't there be a parade or something in your honor today? Or is that only here at my house?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat No, we're having a dog & kid show here in @billycoffey's honor here too. The marching band is quite impressive.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I've got the Kazoo, Accordian & Bagpipe Brigade at the ready as we speak! Yup, it's a banner day for @billycoffey! #snowdaybook

beckfromfrogandtoad I don't like ice cream, which separates me irreparably from normal humanity.

weightwhat @beckfromfrogandtoad Wait a minute here... You don't like ice cream?! GAAAA!!! It's like I don't even know you! Oh, wait...



WritingJoy If someone had told me how pervasive and obstinate poop would become in my life as a mom... I wouldn't have believed them.

weightwhat @WritingJoy Never underestimate the poop!



weightwhat @br8kthru How much longer until you quit your job and go to full time tweeting? It's the only sensible thing to do.

br8kthru @weightwhat this is why I need you. You make sense of this crazy world. It's your gift & I would presume, your burden.

weightwhat @br8kthru It really is.



Nick_theGeek in honor of @weightwhat I'm going to the bus stop in my jammies

weightwhat @Nick_theGeek I'm just so proud! *sniff*



weightwhat @rntammyp Getting ready to work on my Twitter Ho-down post. Be afraid.

rntammyp @weightwhat How's this for my contribution: @rntammyp is totally fantabulous!! Not to mention modest. :O **snort**

weightwhat @rntammyp Ummmm, yeah. Oh look! Something shiny!





The ones that are even longer

Nick_theGeek So the Duct Tape wallet is apparently not the geekiest wallet on the block anymore http://bit.ly/cDu3gm

weightwhat @Nick_theGeek Is that going on your Christmas list?

Nick_theGeek @weightwhat why would I need 2?

weightwhat @Nick_theGeek Already bought it, huh?

katdish Can't. Stop. Sneezing.

weightwhat @katdish Neti pot?

katdish @weightwhat Farmer blow.

weightwhat @katdish Nice.



Helenatrandom @duane_scott We had it down to 65 last week. @weightwhat waited until it was 58 in her house. Is she tougher than you are, DS?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Doesn't that just go without saying?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Yes, but what man wants to be less tough than a tweeter with that sweet picture as an avatar?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I can't help it if @duane_scott is a powder puff.



CandySteele @beckfromfrogandtoad AND I don't like pie. Unless it's nut pie. And then....you know.

weightwhat @CandySteele Seems like there should be a TWSS in there somewhere...

CandySteele@weightwhat Of course there is. But I was quite cautious with the nut reference.

weightwhat @CandySteele Candy, you just can't reference nuts and sound innocent. #justsayin'

br8kthru @weightwhat thanks! And hey there- long time no tweet (for me).

weightwhat @br8kthru So tell me Jason, what is it like being so absent from the twitter? Was it horrific?

br8kthru @weightwhat like a thousand needles stuck in my index finger.

weightwhat @br8kthru You are going to tweet like the wind to make up for lost time now, aren't you?

weightwhat @br8kthru Hello...? Hmmm... I guess not.



weightwhat @duane_scott @katdish Imagine a robot built by Jules Verne.

fishythoughts RT @weightwhat: @duane_scott @katdish Imagine a robot built by Jules Verne.//I miss the best twitter when I sleep :-(

weightwhat @fishythoughts Perhaps you should stop that silly sleeping stuff.

CandySteele @fishythoughts Did @weightwhat 's tweet awaken you?

weightwhat @CandySteele Wouldn't be the first time one of my tweets has done that to someone. *snort*



weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Are you off today?

Schnik .....#insertsomesnarkycommentaboutbeingoffeverydayhere :) RT @weightwhat: @BridgetChumbley Are you off today?

weightwhat @Schnik What are you trying to say, Nick?

Schnik @weightwhat Nothing.... I just may or may not be making a reference that someone in that tweet might be a little 'off'

weightwhat @Schnik You should give me more credit than that. #iamalotoff




And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

katdish Hot off the presses, Twitter update: So apparently, I need to shut my pie hole http://bit.ly/dbBN9G

Helenatrandom @katdish And how DO you offend someone with pie?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom By hiding raisins in it.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Raisins in pie? Only you would even THINK of raisins in pie...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'm always wary of raisins. That's why I'm still alive.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat EWWW! That would be a sin against the Campaign Against the Defilement of Grapes #CATDOG

weightwhat @SBeeCreations And we can't have that now, can we?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Did u see what I got in the mail today?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I was just about to read your blog post about it! So tell me, is your life complete now?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Not yeeeeeet! But once I make my first FULL MEAL in Toastabags, I can die a happy woman.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries When you do die, do you want to be buried in one? Or are you gonna stick with the t-shirt cannon idea?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Wow, that's a dilemma. Being buried in a Toastabag is very tempting...

CandySteele Spam comment of the day: some guy wants me to update him with new information on my dead dog. Here you go: he's still dead. Now go away.

weightwhat @CandySteele Yes, but is he all dead? Or only mostly dead? #princessbride

CandySteele @weightwhat In my mind, I guess only mostly. Or maybe not ever, really. Now I'm confused.

weightwhat @CandySteele Sorry, didn't mean to confuse you at this late an hour. Just wanted to help mock your spammer. He needed mocking.

CandySteele @weightwhat No problem. I confuse easily. All spammers should be mocked. And flogged. And fed Spam.

weightwhat @CandySteele Have you ever considered taking up torture as a hobby?

CandySteele @weightwhat Why yes, yes I have. The internets can be cruel sometimes. #grrrr

weightwhat @CandySteele When @Helenatrandom and I take over the world, would you consider being our Czar or Torture and Pain Infliction?

CandySteele @weightwhat sure, or your chef.

weightwhat @CandySteele I've seen what you eat. I think that job would go hand in hand with the torture job. ;o)

SBeeCreations Why does it seem so impossible to scan straight?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Because the same little green men who steal socks from your dryer also sneak in and move your original?

SBeeCreations @weightwhat that must be it. Oh Wendy, you're so smart

weightwhat @SBeeCreations I really am. Someday, when I feel you're ready, I'll explain the mysteries of non-dairy creamer to you.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat that might be awhile

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Baby steps, young one.

katdish Okay, @askbillmitchell says to repost early. And as you know, I always do what I'm told.

weightwhat @katdish Who are you?!

katdish @weightwhat I know, right?

weightwhat @katdish You're kind of scaring me right now.

katdish @weightwhat It's been a busy week. I've had to be relatively nice. It's stressful.

weightwhat @katdish Someone needs a good rant and it's you.

katdish @weightwhat I need a super secret snarky identity.

weightwhat @katdish Hmmm... Buddy Love hasn't been on for a while...

Well there you have it. Another week of twittery goodness. You're welcome.