Don't blink or you might miss it

Okay, this could be my shortest Twitter Ho-down post ever. Say it isn't so! Really Twitter, it isn't you. It's me. Although... If you were to stop trying to tell me who to follow... Anyway, on to the Ho-down!

The one-liners

I'm reliving my glory days. That's right, I'm eating ramen noodles.

Eating some Boston Baked Beans. The package says "artificially flavored candy coated peanuts." Artificially flavored as what, I wonder?

There was a substitute bus driver today. I don't think he was prepared for the jammies.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section of a pool. (RT @stacyasmallSFL)

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week. (RT @funnyoneliners)

stylist: So youre a stay at home mom with kids in school. What do you do all day? Me: Sometimes I nap. Sometimes I bemoan my fate. It varies (RT @stacyasmallSFL)

I'm here! I know. You're thrilled.

The ones I may or may not have tweeted in DM's - I admit to nothing

And it burns, burns, burns. The ring of fire. The ring of fire.

You could always stick a cork in your butt.

Don't you want a sparkly clean bowel?

Was there mass hysteria?

Maybe you should make your own card. Congratulations on carrying your step-brother's baby. Best wishes finding him a good therapist.

Reality is overrated.

There you go again, trying to force reality on me.

Reality schmeality.

Who do you think you are, me?

Would you like to hear about my incredible flatulence?

Thar she blows!

Welcome to my life.

I would, but what would I put on the invitations?

But did that stop me from getting on the twitter...? Nah.



The ones that are a little bit longer

ImAPennyPincher Does anyone else have that one "slightly off" friend on Facebook that makes really random comments about your status or is it just me?

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher Hey, I'm a little more than slightly off. Give me some credit, huh?



ImAPennyPincher I have tweeted more today that I have in the last 3 months. Saying random stuff on the web just seems kinda weird to me.

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher Should I feel insulted?



The_BMG Oops. I thought DG was done w/ her lunch so I ate the rest. Now she's mad at me b/c she wasn't done.

weightwhat @The_BMG Did you tell her "finders keepers"?



beckfromfrogandtoad I made a big batch of gingersnaps tonight, thinking that they would fill the cookie jar for at least 24 hours. No.

weightwhat @beckfromfrogandtoad BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you were serious about thinking the cookies would last?



weightwhat @The_BMG Inconceivable!

iaminigomontoya @weightwhat You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

TheRustedChain Thank you guys for the huge support of http://therustedchain.bigcartel.com/! I want to kiss you all! Well, most of you. Okay, only a few.

weightwhat @TheRustedChain Okay, but no tongue. Well, maybe a little tongue.

TheRustedChain Bahaha! Made me choke on my coffee!

weightwhat Okay, I'm trying tweetdeck. So far, I'm completely confused.

Schnik That's not entirely out of the normal for you, though, is it?

weightwhat @Schnik What are you trying to say?

weightwhat RT @SBeeCreations It's #CookieTuesday. Don't forget :) @sarahmsalter @br8kthru @melissa_rae @Helenatrandom // AAA!!! MUST GET COOKIE!!!

SBeeCreations @weightwhat I did http://twitpic.com/2qowxe

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Oh Sarah... That's a sad little cookie. You might need to eat more cookies to make up for it.

weightwhat I should probably do a Pleasantly Disturbed post, but what to write? Okay people, what am I disturbed about?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Like counting the grains of sand on the Sahara... ;-)

weightwhat @Helenatrandom What are you trying to say, Helen?

The ones that are even longer

beckfromfrogandtoad The Baby wrote "zombies are extinct people" yesterday. With no assistance. She is both smart AND weird.

weightwhat @beckfromfrogandtoad Where DOES she get it?

beckfromfrogandtoad @weightwhat I dunno. My guess is her father.

weightwhat @beckfromfrogandtoad Uh, yeah. That's what I was thinking, too.

And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

Schnik OH: "who needs friends when you have Fried Pie"

weightwhat @Schnik Okay, I kinda need my friends to show me where the fried pie is. After that? Meh.

Schnik Good point!

sarahmsalter @Schnik @weightwhat BAD! Remember, PEOPLE are more important than PIE.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter @Schnik Because without people, who would make the pie?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat @Schnik That's not what I meant...

weightwhat Okay, I'm awake. Now what?

katdish @weightwhat Make me some breakfast.

weightwhat @katdish POOF! You're some breakfast.

marni71 @weightwhat @katdish Ooh. Will you make me breakfast too? I like stuffed french toast and strong coffee.

weightwhat @marni71 Really making me work this morning, aren'tcha? POOF! You're stuffed french toast and strong coffee.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Entertain us.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Hey, I'm awake. What could be more entertaining?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat How about posting something marvelous on your blog!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Let's not get all crazy now.

WritingJoy @weightwhat coffee. Or go back to bed.

weightwhat @WritingJoy I like the way you think.

Yup, that's all of it. Can you believe it? Hopefully I'll have more for you next week. If not, blame Katdish. She loves that.