Friday, November 20, 2009

Because sometimes you just need a tweet pick-me-up


Okay, I'll start off with the latest about my daughter: We still know nothing. Ugh. She had an EEG done yesterday, and while we do know that nothing horrendous showed up, the tech hinted that something was there but wouldn't tell me what. Gotta wait for the doctor to fill me in on that one. Oh, and the doctor is leaving the country today for two weeks. Looking for a nice brick wall to hit my head against. She's also wearing a continuous glucose monitor that checks her blood sugar every 5 minutes. We'll have the results on that read next Tuesday. More waiting. Have I mentioned that I hate waiting? Anyway, a little levity is a nice thing right now, which is why I love Twitter so much. Who doesn't love to laugh? So on to the Twitter Ho-down with Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants!

The one-liners

Attn: Substitute bus driver - FEAR THE JAMMIES!

The difference between intelligence and stupidity is--intelligence has a limit. (via @funnyoneliners)

Asked my wife what she would put in the paper if I died. She said, "Boat for sale." RT @northpacific

RT @funnyoneliners Think twice before you speak. This may enable you to say something more insulting than if you had spoke out at once.

@Helenatrandom I'm going to DM you. Yes, I'm that kind of a girl.

My daughter caught my husband watching iCarly earlier. He was by himself. Should I be worried?

RT @funnyoneliners What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles.

A little bit longer ones

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Hey, saw our neighborhood 'mommy in jammies at the bus stop' this morning. It's just too funny!

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Did you tell her to stop copying me?

sarahmsalter @BridgetChumbley No... Because I'm still getting further behind. But I'm worn out. I just can't get in the zone tonight.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I don't know... I've heard about girls who dye their hair and wear colored underwear...

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Well, I'm only one out of two today. So, I guess I'm only half-wild today. :-P

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Okay, did everyone get that? @sarahmsalter IS NOT wearing (colored) underwear today!

stretchmarkmama Hey, @walgreens sells a great self-inflating whoopee cushion--not that we tested one for 10 min at the store today.

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Okay, I just have to ask... What kind of sound does it make when it inflates?

stretchmarkmama @weightwhat Oh, it's a silent sound. Silent but deadly.

The ones that are even longer

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Just so you know you are not alone... there is a lady in our neighborhood who is in her jammies every morning at the bust stop

Helenatrandom @makeadiff21 Okay, I gotta ask.... what is a "bust stop"...

makeadiff21 @Helenatrandom LOL.. Oh geez. That'll come back to me for sure....

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Just how much was your bust moving that it needed to stop?

makeadiff21 How old is it again when you ask for some time alone that they give you more than 20 seconds at a time? :)

weightwhat @makeadiff21 43.

br8kthru @weightwhat 43!?! I'm not that patient...

weightwhat @br8kthru Then can I offer you a rubber mallet?

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

sarahmsalter I have a headache... Go to bed or take tylenol and stay up to write?

SBeeCreations @sarahmsalter You should sleep. Best not risk the rebound headache in the morning.

sarahmsalter @SBeeCreations "Rebound headache"? Did I miss that day in healthy class?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Kinda like a rebound boyfriend without the making out.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Oh, that sucks.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Yup, none of the fun, just the headache.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat So, what about when you end up dating a rebound boyfriend on and off over a couple years? Would that constitute a migraine?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Yup. Or maybe a tumor.

sarahmsalter @billycoffey Yeah, I cried over a Barenaked Ladies song on the radio this morning. That's a bit extreme dontcha think?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Was it because they just made you say underwear?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat LOL! No. But funny, Wendy. Very funny.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Maybe you should sing something. I'll start you off: "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Ha ha. You're SO funny.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Yes. Yes I am.

weightwhat @br8kthru *Psst!* @sarahmsalter - I think Jason needs some prune brownies.

br8kthru @weightwhat prune brownies!? Why I awtta...

weightwhat @br8kthru Just looking out for your colon health.

br8kthru @weightwhat if ever there were 2 words never to be uttered together it is 'prune' & 'brownies.' You just made Jesus cry.

SBeeCreations @weightwhat They don't call them prunes anymore. Had to get some juice for daughter and they call it "dried plum" to make it more appealing

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Some poor person could be suckered in and won't know what's going on until the colon blow hits.

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Buenas dias y benediciones amiga mia!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Taco burrito enchilada.

billycoffey @katdish @redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter You people need to stop speaking in Spanish. I flunked Spanish. All I know is bueno.

weightwhat @billycoffey Didn't you understand my restaurant Spanish? I'm fluent in that.

billycoffey @weightwhat I need to buy one of those dictionaries. I know taco and burrito.

weightwhat @billycoffey You should really learn enchilada and quesadilla, too. Maybe someday you'll move on to fajitas, but I don't want to rush you.

katdish @weightwhat don de esta casa de pepe

weightwhat @katdish ¿Oye bebé, viene aquí mucho?

JeanneDamoff @weightwhat @katdish What's up with the cheesy Spanish pick-up lines? :)

weightwhat @JeanneDamoff It's important to be obnoxious in as many languages as possible.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Careful, careful. Let's keep it rated-G.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter What? Is my cheesy pick-up line getting you all PG-rated?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I just feared the progression from that cheesy pick-up line to the conversation it could spark.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter My conversations never go down that road. Ever.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Please excuse me while I step away from the computer. I'm allergic to lightning.

weightwhat Gotta go wash all the goop out of my daughter's hair now. Oooo... goopy.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I know I shouldn't do this... But TWSS

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Who could resist?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Thank you. I knew you'd understand.

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries You have no self-control. (TWSS)

br8kthru @weightwhat I'm back- no i'm more into instant gratification- i really wasn't thinking about the other... :)

BridgetChumbley @br8kthru TWSS...

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley Go Bridget! Go Bridget!

br8kthru @BridgetChumbley Glad you've still got it- now hold on to it and don't let go- whoa, not that tight! :)

redclaydiaries @br8kthru OMGoogle. So. Tempted. Must. Resist. The. TWSS...

weightwhat @br8kthru Man, you're just a TWSS waiting to happen tonight, aren't you?

Yes, it was a busy week on the Twitter. Diversion is a good thing! I really want to thank all of you who have been praying for my kiddo. I truly appreciate it!


jasonS said...

1st off- there is a lingerie store in Tulsa, OK called the Bust Stop. I know because of the giant billboard on the side of the highway.

2nd- 'burrito' is Spanish for little donkey- not so appetizing now...

3rd- Glad to help distract in a good way (not used to that). As they say, diversion loves company...hence the creation of the twitter. :)

Stephanie Wetzel said...

I can't decide...

Should I be proud or embarrassed that my TWSS tendencies are so clearly on display in this post?

I guess it's better than some other things on display. (TWSS)

Kelli said...

So, I haven't tweeted much this week so I can't join in - other than to ruin television for you. On second thought, it looked like you tweeted enough for the 2 of us.

Thank you for the update on your daughter - will keep praying :).

katdish said...

Grrr...frustrating about your daughter. Still praying.

Saw the lightning tweet and was confused. I should have known you were involved in the conversation.

Lanette said...

Haven't been in the blogoshpere in a while and so sorry to hear about your girl. Having stuff happen to our kids is the hardes thing ever and then waiting...very frustrating. Perhaps a word of encouragement, my husband had a seizure almost 10 years ago. We did all of the tests and nothing terrible was found, but they did notice something and evidentally sometimes something minor can cause a seizure, scarring from a head injury or even traumatic childbirth. He went on meds for a while and no further problems. Been off of them for over 5 years and no more seizures. I know it's scary, been there done that, but know lots of people care and are praying.