Friday, November 13, 2009

Return of the Son of the Epic Tweet


Okay, I'm finally getting my post up for the Twitter Ho-down over at Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants. I'm a little behind. Which is better than being a big behind. But that's a whole 'nother post entirely...

The one-liners

Slower than molasses in January. #howslowistwittertoday

Huh. I think it's moving backwards. #howslowistwittertoday

And the snail pulls into the lead! #howslowistwittertoday

Was that a tumbleweed? #howslowistwittertoday

Ever continue to sit in front of the computer even though you really have to pee just because you're afraid of missing something on Twitter?

Yeah, me neither.

I think my teeth are floating. #Ireallyneedtopee

Are my eyes turning yellow? #Ireallyneedtopee

Okay, who turned on the babbling brook soundtrack? #Ireallyneedtopee

Low-lying areas are now no longer under a flood warning. #Ipeed

Could someone just bring me some food and put it in my mouth for me? Thanks.

That's it. I'm taking my Barbies and going home.

I'm here, but not really. Gotta get to bed. Just wanted to say hi and goodnight beforehand. I'm not addicted to Twitter. I can stop anytime.

A little bit longer ones

br8kthru @weightwhat I live to serve. God has a plan for my life, you know.

weightwhat @br8kthru You mean more than to promote the welfare of sweater vests everywhere?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat @redclaydiaries I used to have a teddy bear named Waffles. Until my then-boyfriend's rottweiller ate Waffles. *sniff*

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I guess buying a maple syrup scented teddy bear wasn't a good idea afterall, huh?

BridgetChumbley @katdish It was a bit creepy... but nothing really surprises me on the Twitter. Esp in certain 'groups'.

katdish @BridgetChumbley Yes. "Some people" will talk about anything...

weightwhat @katdish Hey, are you talking about me?

katdish @weightwhat Oh man! Tomorrow's Friday isn't it? Sigh...

weightwhat @katdish Yes. Yes it is. Tweet like the wind!

The ones that are even longer

Helenatrandom @weightwhat SHOCKING! I googled "Helen's frontsetts" and my blog did not pop up!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Really? When I googled it, it did. Uh, I mean, if I had googled it I'm sure it would have...

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I probably don't have as much practice Googling as you do, being that I'm Catholic and all...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I don't know about that... I've heard that there's a lot of Googling Catholics around. Confessionals have been very busy.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I meant we don't Google OURSELVES! That's a no-no...

.redclaydiaries Either a) The Twitter is cranky b) Tweetdeck is sabotaging me again, or c) Everyone's gone & left me alone. [crickets] Anybody there?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I vote for sabotage!

redclaydiaries @weightwhat You're not supposed to vote for what you WANT to happen.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries You never let me have any fun anymore.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Oh, you love me. Just admit it.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat hmmmmm. ooo-k. I admit it.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 See? And admitting it is the first step to recovery. Uh. Wait a minute...

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I knew you'd want to see the touched-up red. I did it all for you. So, yes, it's all about you. ;-)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh Sarah. When isn't it all about me?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I ask myself that, too. I say, "It's about Wendy. When isn't it about Wendy?" ;-)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter You are wise for one so young.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

sarahmsalter @weightwhat LOL! Yes and no. I live way out in the country in a county well-known for 1 thing: its active Ku Klux Klan back in the day.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Not something to be proud of. But it's their claim to fame.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Wow. Do they have a post card for that?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat No. Nor do we advertise our moonshiners, meth dealers, and puppy farms. It's my own personal mission field.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Darn. That would have made a great addition to my tacky postcard collection.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I can find you some of half-nekkid people when I go down to the beach for Thxgiving...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Nah, I collect tacky, not skanky.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Tacky. Skanky. It really can be a fine line...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter That's true. Good thing I'm an excellent judge of all things tacky.

billycoffey @BridgetChumbley It's still a little iffy, but at least I'm conscious!

weightwhat @billycoffey Maybe you need some extra hot jerky to pull you the rest of the way out of it.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Ummm.. TWSS ??

weightwhat @makeadiff21 YESH!!!

makeadiff21 @sarahmsalter Currently laughing at what @weightwhat just said to @billycoffey I am SO not going to let that one pass w/o pointing it out!

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Oh, that'll be going into the Ho-down. No doubt about it.

br8kthru Today

weightwhat @br8kthru Are you sure?

br8kthru @weightwhat was a premature e-tweetulation (am I allowed to say that? I think I just did)

weightwhat @br8kthru I think someone's trying to make the Ho-down...

sarahmsalter @br8kthru That was just wrong! What's gotten into you today?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Lord, have mercy. I didn't see that one coming. (TWSS)

BridgetChumbley I need a Fun Friday idea... I'm feeling very boring today!

Helenatrandom @BridgetChumbley TWITTER HO DOWN, GIRL!

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley I vote for the Twitter Ho-down for you, too. You should listen to Helen and me. We're the voices of reason.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Uh, yeah...when reason has a sore throat and is drinking for medicinal purposes then, yes, we are the voice of reason...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Exactly.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Voices of reason?!! BWAHAHAHAHA! U didn't type that w a straight face, did you?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Wha...? You don't believe me? I'm shocked.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Do u ever say anything reasonable? Cuz I haven't followed a thing you've tweeted today...

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Pear pimples on hairy fishnuts.

sarahmsalter @br8kthru I'd do it for you. But, um, well... :-P

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS

sarahmsalter @weightwhat I'd tell you what I think of that, but you'd TWSS that, too.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Chicken.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Bite me!

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Happy now?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS. And yes, I truly am happy.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat LOL! Wendy, I don't know if you complete me or corrupt me.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oddly enough, I am a giver of both gifts simultaneously. I'm particularly blessed that way.

katdish @sarahmsalter I would say she completely corrupts you.

weightwhat @katdish Hey, there's no half-way in my book.

So there you go. I know. It's just not a weekend until you've read my Twitter post. But now your life is complete. You're welcome.


Helen said...

I have been looking high and low for this all morning! I need the other half of the voice of reason...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katdish said...

Yep. Completely corrupted.

jasonS said...

Ah, epic tweets indeed. They sting a little but at the end, you're a better man... If you haven't noticed, this is me rambling. You seem to bring that out of me...

Kristi Fornshell said...

This is some FUNNY stuff. You ladies can take a topic and run with it.

Heaven help anyone who runs across this and tries to make sense of it all. lol KC

Anonymous said...

Poor Jason...

I'm going to go find Mr. Linky now... so he knows I don't hate him!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say Mr. Linky... Mr. Lindy is a distant relative and completely irrelevant to this comment.

Stupid fast fingers!

Sarah Salter said...

Wendy, some days while we're talking, I feel like I'm living out a Laurel and Hardy movie.

That is all.

Kelli said...

So I haven't been on twitter a lot this week. But I'm all caught up now! Funny funny!