Monday, January 11, 2010

Life is Funny - Why my mom doesn't ski


Yes, the Life is Funny blog carnival is back! Feel free to rejoice. You know you want to.

Mom, if you're reading this, now would be a good time to shut down your computer and walk away. Skedaddle.

Is she gone?

Okay, I've got another Mom story to share with you. I know, you've missed my Mom stories. And if you're one of my mom's friends and you're reading this: You didn't hear it from me.

Years ago, my family was all into skiing. Except my mom. Mom didn't ski. But one year she decided to give it a go and Dad decided to give her a lesson. Already a recipe for disaster, huh? So Mom is all suited up and on the bunny slope with my dad. Then she starts to slide down the hill and doesn't know what to do about it. She's picking up speed and has no idea how to stop, turn or anything. Dad yells to her, "Lay down!" So she does. Except instead of laying down to the side, which would stop her nicely, she goes straight back turning herself into a human taboggan. A taboggan of death! Okay, maybe not death. But definitely mayhem. Back to our story. When we left, Mom was a human taboggan heading down a hill and picking up speed. Unfortunately for all involved, there was a ski school group in Mom's path of destruction... She goes right through the middle of the ski school, running over skis and knocking down students, all the while saying, " I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

It was after this little incident that my dad decided that Mom needed a private lesson. With a real ski instructor. This should go better, right? Um, no. The first thing the instructor decides to do is take Mom up on the chair lift. Yeah, mom's never been on the chair lift before. But hey, he's the instructor and he knows what he's doing, right? Well... They get on the chair lift okay, but then he dropped his glove...and jumps off the chairlift to get it...leaving Mom alone on the chair. He yells to her, "I'll meet you at the top!" Yeah. That was the last time my mom tried skiing. But the memory, and the whole body twitch whenever anyone mentions skiing to her, lives on. Good times.

So now it's your turn to share! If you did a post last week, feel free to link up both posts here on Mr. Linky. It makes him feel more loved.


Kelli said...

LOL - You gotta love Mom! I pictured every last bit of that. Too funny!

It reminds me of one time when my son was skiing with my dad and I was watching from the club house. My son had just turned 4, but had been skiing for about 18 months. He decided he was tired of the conveyer belt hills and wanted to go ride on the "swings" (aka the chair lift). I watched in horror as my little guy skiied off to get in line for the "swings". Luckily, they stopped him before my dad could get there.

He's 8 now and gets to ride the "swings" quite often, but of course he's a much better skiier now.

jasonS said...

That sounds similar to my mom's one and only skiing experience. She was so terrified that the medics had mercy on her and took her down on a snowmobile. Yep, lots of fun! :)

Tiffany said...

Yeah, so I've been skiing with my husband. Once. I've been PRIOR to that but only once with him. We went with another couple we know. Both my husband and this other guy used to be ski instructors. That would be lovely, except that when it's your husband telling you what to do, all logical thoughts cease. The other guy had to coach me down. Embarrassing for all. Fun times.

Anonymous said...

Poor Mom! My one and ONLY ski attempt went very similarly to this one. I prefer the lodge, a roaring fire and hot cocoa!