Twitter Ho-down anyone?

Where has this week gone? No, really. Where has it gone? I've been sick all week and I think I missed out on stuff. Good thing there's always the Twitter...

The one-liners

Okay, who still has some of their Christmas decorations up? ...Why am I the only one raising my hand?

I love me some Sleep Talkin' Man! "I'm here! I know, I brighten the room. Everything's better." Think he sounds like me?

I'm thinking of making a fitness video: Coughing Your Way to 6-Pack Abs.

When did I eat corn? #thoughtsonthetoilet

I wonder if the bus driver is confused when I show up at the bus stop in the afternoon in my jammies...

Ode to the Sleep Talkin' Man (Yes, these are things he says in his sleep.)

"Yeah, falling in love is WONDERFUL. Especially when it's with me." #stm

"Horray for me! Yup, I said it. Now the rest of you can join in." #stm

"Yes, I can get away with wearing leather chaps. Just not on a windy day." #stm

"So many little people. Pet them on the head. pet pet pet pet pet...." #stm

"Babies don't bounce. They don't bounce! Shame. It'd be much more fun if they bounce." #stm

"Deedoo. It's a deedoo. A deedoo...Oh, it's not a deedoo. I have no idea what it is." #stm

"I'm trying not to laugh. But your face! Your face! Oh, please look away. Please?" #stm

"Skipping to work makes everything better." #stm

"Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We're done for.... done for." #stm

"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope." #stm

"Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun." #stm

"Dance for me, go on. Oh you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack..... Doofus." #stm

A little bit longer ones

katdish Sorry people! I'm busy CHANGING LIVES here!

weightwhat @katdish For the better or the worse? Gotta ask.

Helenatrandom Today I am grateful that when @redclaydiaries asked "What's Shakin'" I asked if I need a new bra, and not a new girdle.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom *snort!*

TheRustedChain Trying to talk my hubby into taking me to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner...

weightwhat @TheRustedChain You should bribe him with what he really wants... the remote.



katdish @billycoffey It's a package deal.

sarahmsalter @katdish I think that tweet was TWSS-able... A ruling from the judges, please?

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Package? Totally TWSSable.




The ones that are even longer

br8kthru @weightwhat no problemo! Now really, why have you been avoiding me? Do I need a mint?

weightwhat @br8kthru Tell the truth now - it's you who's been avoiding me, isn't it?

br8kthru @weightwhat Maybe you're right. I'm just transferring my feelings of avoidance on you. You should totally be the next Dr. Phil...

weightwhat @br8kthru Yes I should. People need what I'm dishing out.

beckfromfrogandtoad My kids are crabby and pugnacious.

weightwhat @beckfromfrogandtoad Is that news?

beckfromfrogandtoad @weightwhat It has never happened before! They are normally such angels! I am a big honking liar!

weightwhat @beckfromfrogandtoad Remember, the horns are only there to keep the halo up.

And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

Helenatrandom When is it okay to tell someone they are "badgertastic"?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Only when it truly fits.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat See, is it a compliment? How would you take being called "badgertastic"?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Anything ending in "tastic" is a compliment. Really. One of my favorite compliments to give is calling something cheesetastic

br8kthru @weightwhat Mmmmm, cheese...

weightwhat @br8kthru Exactly!

Helenatrandom @redclaydiaries Do you think I need a new bra?

weightwhat @Helenatrandom How about a coconut one? I hear they're all the rage.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I have one of those, but it's a little too small and gives me splinters...

br8kthru @Helenatrandom 'I have one of those, but it's a little too small and gives me splinters' -disturbing TWSS

weightwhat @br8kthru You're disturbed by splinter-ridden frontsets? Really?

redclaydiaries @br8kthru @Helenatrandom What the French Toast are we TALKING about????

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Okay, since they aren't answering... @helenatrandom in a coconut bra and getting splinters. 'Nuff said.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Ohhhh.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Don't forget that I get splinters because coconuts are too small...THAT is very important to the equation...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Your coconuts overfloweth.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat That sounds so poetic, Wendy. Thank you...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes, I make everything sound pretty.

What? Haven't gotten your fill of tweets? Then head on over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants and see what others had to tweet. Inquiring minds want to know.