You've waited for it all week and now it's here - the Twitter Ho-down! Feel free to get into the fetal positions, smack your head and try to find a happy place.
The one-liners
One thing parenting has taught me is how to fight like a kid. No it hasn't. Yes it has. No it hasn't. Yes it has. Oh this is so not fair. (RT @stretchmarkmama )
Men. (insert eye roll here)
Twitter saved me from a terrifying keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself addiction. (RT @debihope)
I always have the strangest dreams after eating Mexican food. I like to refer to them as "jallucinations". (RT @MrBigFists )
The munchkin is complaining she's hungry. Better feed her before she turns cannibal.
weightwhat @katdish - In case Buddy Love ever decides to become a cross-dresser:
A little bit longer ones
sarahmsalter @Helenatrandom You know, those who can laugh at themselves (@weightwhat) will never cease to be amused. :o)
weightwhat @sarahmsalter I give myself so much material...
BridgetChumbley I just hit SEND... now, I wait... #vaguetweet
weightwhat @BridgetChumbley If you can't say something nice, say something vague.
racegearcom88 @weightwhat ooo she spoke to me my day is now complete ;)
weightwhat @racegearcom88 Yes, you have been graced with my presence. Now move along. I've got others to grace.
br8kthru I'm drinking English Breakfast tea in the afternoon. Yes, I am such a rebel. And no, I cannot be tamed.
weightwhat @br8kthru You will, of course, keep your pinky properly raised...
BridgetChumbley @makeadiff21 That's too long... but something to look forward to just the same!
weightwhat @BridgetChumbley TWSS
BridgetChumbley @weightwhat hahahahahaha I didn't see that one... shame on me!
The ones that are even longer
racegearcom88 @BridgetChumbley depends on what you want. Some can be hard.
BridgetChumbley @racegearcom88 Going to take the high road and not TWSS you... hehe
sarahmsalter @BridgetChumbley Oh, c'mon! I don't think we've ever TWSSed @racegearcom88 before. Initiate him!
weightwhat @racegearcom88 Okay, if no one else will do it... TWSS! Sheesh.
br8kthru @weightwhat Nodding off at my desk. I'm getting sleepy (very sleepy) & best I can tell no one is trying to hypnotize me
weightwhat @br8kthru Do you need to be poked with a stick?
br8kthru @weightwhat Maybe you could poke me with a doughnut- I think sugar might help at this point...
weightwhat @br8kthru I would, but there's no way a doughnut would make it that far. And no, that's not chocolate smeared around my mouth.
br8kthru @weightwhat why must you provoke me? & when are we going to have those food replicators like on Star Trek so I don't have to wait...
weightwhat @br8kthru Once again, life does not live up to tv. Such a sad story.
br8kthru @weightwhat You really should get to inventing that- I would be really appreciative...
weightwhat @br8kthru Right after I bring about world peace and solve the mysteries of non-dairy creamer.
sarahmsalter @weightwhat So... Got your blog post written?
sarahmsalter @weightwhat Thank you, Ma'am. And again I say, "Where is yours?"
weightwhat @sarahmsalter I don't have one. I gave patience up for lent last year and it worked out so well I decided to give it up forever.
weightwhat @sarahmsalter Oh, and TWSS.
And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones
weightwhat Bus stop time!
br8kthru @weightwhat Is that anything like Hammer time?
weightwhat @br8kthru Yes. Like my parachute pants?
br8kthru @weightwhat they are totally coming back- that's why I saved mine
weightwhat @br8kthru So THAT'S why you saved them... Uh-huh
br8kthru @weightwhat Ok, I read 'saved' as 'shaved' & I was abt to tell you it was none of your business.
weightwhat @br8kthru Shaved? You'll never keep your cockles warm that way.
sarahmsalter @weightwhat Did you tell @Helenatrandom how BADLY you treated me in the ho-down this week?!
weightwhat @sarahmsalter I treated you badly by repeating what you said?
sarahmsalter @weightwhat You know these things don't sound nearly as bad coming out of MY mouth as they do when they're sprayed in graffiti on your wall.
weightwhat @sarahmsalter How long have you been delusional like that?
sarahmsalter @weightwhat Just since I met you. :-P
redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter Really? I hate that deadline crunch. Well, Nick would recommend a low-carb Monster. Got one?
weightwhat @sarahmsalter If not a low-carb Monster, how about cranking up the music and doin' the Single Ladies Dance. And video tape it.
sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Nope. I don't keep caffeine in the house.
weightwhat @sarahmsalter FOR THE LOVE OF GUMBY, WHY NOT?!
redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter Okay, then do you keep any unitards in the house?
weightwhat @sarahmsalter Uh oh oh oh...
sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries No, I do NOT keep unitards in the house. Do you?
weightwhat @sarahmsalter Want me to send you one of mine?
There you go. You may resume your daily activities, but only after your head over to Katdish's blog and enter to win something from my etsy shop. Go on now. Don't make me turn the hose on ya.
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5 comments:
I can't believe I didn't make the cut. Also, "Unitard" sounds like an insult.
My week has been made complete. All those hardships are now worth it. You are the miracle worker and I am your Helen Keller (yes, I can be a little dramatic sometimes- wanna fight about it?)
:)
I thoroughly enjoyed that :)
I had to leave and come back. Because that note from school was a post in itself. That. Was. Awesome.
I'm late to the hodown party, but I have to say that those were just as funny as the first time I read them on the Twitter.
And seriously, where did you get that detention notice? That was brilliance on carbon paper.
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