Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Parenting 101 - Potty training

For years, one topic has struck fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: Potty training. It's just not fun. And it's a major source of frustration. Why, oh why, can Jr. not just sit and go? I'll tell you why. Lack of motivation. Oh sure, you've tried bribery. You've tried the sticker chart. You've even tried threats. But they didn't work, did they? No, they did not. Doctors will tell you that you just have to wait for little Tommy or Susie to be ready on their own. Well forget that malarky! I'm about to share the solution with you.

Fear.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Fear will bring about the desired potty use. It's simple really. You just use your child's natural fear of heights to work against them. Something like this:

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You tell your precious little darling that since they have not been using the potty, you're now out of diapers. Then take your non-potty using child with you to the store to shop. Once there, tell them that since they're the ones using the diapers that they'll have to be the one to get the diapers. From the top shelf. Which they can't get to unless they are hoisted up there and left for a bit. Just long enough for the panic to set in. "Oooo! It sure is high up! I hope I can get you back down again!" Yes, the fear of diaper shopping will get your potty-avoiding tot sitting on the throne in no time.

"But Wendy," one might ask, "what if my child isn't afraid of heights?" Being the fount of wisdom and all things parenting, I have an answer for that, too. Two words for you: Krazy Glue. You're welcome.

10 comments:

Jewda said...

My dad offered me $1 to go by myself. I agreed. Turned out, though, that he only had 75-cents on him, but it was too late.

Sarah refused to learn to potty train until her mom decided to start teaching her little sister. That was all the training she needed.

♥ Kathy said...

haha!

jasonS said...

With our oldest, we used cheerios as targets in the toilet to make it a game- worked like a charm! For our middle son, he refused until little sister starting getting good at it and he wouldn't be out done. Ah, the adventures of parenthood!

Casey said...

Oh I am so using this on Sophie! She will be 3 in August and has ZERO interest in using the potty. She is afraid of heights so this couldn't be more perfect for us!

Thanks Wendy! You are such a lifesaver!! :)

Lianne said...

Fantastic. I am putting this one in the mental file for a little while down the road. I just wish you'd shared this pearl of wisdom with me sooner for the other two.

bman said...

HAHAH! That's awesome.

Helen said...

Wendy, I as so glad you have resumed sharing your parenting wisdom with us all.

Rachel said...

Hee hee hee...that made me laugh.

Potty training ranks up there with one of those things I really dislike doing...alongside pulling hair out of the drain.

Rachel

Candy said...

Wait a minute, you're supposed to potty train kids? Dang, they're all in their 30's now. Guess I'd better call them.

I have to be honest, I only trained the first one. I figured nobody wanted to go to school in diapers. And lo and behold, the others were trained at a younger age than the one who was instructed to write his name in pee in the toilet.

Jake said...

I've got too many friends in the throes of potty training. translation: I'm learning how to potty train children, too. Not a bad idea....