Halloween Silliness

Welcome to the Halloween version of Saturday Silliness! It's the video extravaganza! Why? Because I can't just pick one. Look at it as a "But wait! There's more!" kind of thing. No, you won't get a set of Ginsu knives. Darn it all. Now on to the silliness!

Some funnies:

And the trailer from my favorite movie to watch on Halloween (If you haven't seen 'Lady in White,' you really should go out and rent it. So good!):

Have a fun and happy Halloween everyone! Feel free to send me any Snickers bars your kids don't want!

How tweet of you to come

It's Friday and you know what that means! No, not that. Guess again. Okay, I'll just tell you. It's the Twitter Ho-down over at Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants! You should play along. It will make your life complete. That is, if by "complete" you mean exactly like it was before.

The one-liners

I'm here! Now what?

2 days until my blogoversary and nothing planned for it. I may need to get a plethora of piñatas.

Everything you ever wanted to know about *ahem* but were afraid to ask: Parenting 101 http://bit.ly/1U3UIQ

Just got back from the bus stop, but I'm not in my jammies. Why? Because I fell asleep in my clothes last night. Confused the bus driver.

I'm back. Let the wild rumpus start!

Just got back from the bathroom. My daughter clogged the toilet with what looks like an entire roll of t.p. Her butt's just not that big.

weightwhat @HeatherSunseri Happy Birthday! I'd send you some cake, but I ate it. I can't be trusted around cake.

I've been hitting the Pirate's Booty again. TWSS

weightwhat @sarahmsalter I do like to bore my readers, so that is tempting...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter and @becca_homefront - Oh c'mon you guys. You're plenty funny. I point and laugh at you all the time.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Or perhaps just a few strategically placed whoopie cushions.

My daughter just asked to be put to bed early tonight. Clearly this is the end of days.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Sarah, you can marry more money in 10 minutes than you can make in a lifetime. You might want to cross-stitch it on a pillow.

weightwhat @Brian_Russell Okay, I've got the monkey's in their tutus. Now what?

A little bit longer ones

weightwhat Sitting at the bus stop. Yes, I'm in my jammies. Why do you ask?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat I didn't. I assumed it would be too cold where you live to wear a time traveler costume.

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I only wear that costume when I'm set to kill, not to stun. We don't need that kind of carnage.



sarahmsalter @becca_homefront I'm picky about the brand, but not how it's hung.

weightwhat @sarahmsalter TWSS



PeterPollock Is anyone else having trouble with Intense Debate today?

weightwhat @PeterPollock I always have trouble with Intense Debate, but then again, I'm a lover not a fighter. ;o)

weightwhat @br8kthru Can't hold out with the sweater vest much longer, huh? I hope that doesn't mean moving to the puffy vest next though.

br8kthru @weightwhat My wife has never let me wear 1 of those! She said she had an short-time boyfriend who wore 1 all the time so no puffy vests :(

weightwhat @br8kthru Your wife is wise. You should listen to her. No good can come of puffy vests.



Brian_Russell Boredom strikes exactly when you expect it.

weightwhat @Brian_Russell If you hadn't set the monkeys in tutus free, you wouldn't be having that problem.



br8kthru @weightwhat don't even pretend you don't love me & my offbeat personality!

weightwhat @br8kthru Actually, I think it's more the sweater vest that does it for me.



The ones that are even longer

br8kthru Getting waffles at SE Waffle Co. Appraisal on our house later so trying to keep it clean. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Should we be quiet when you have your waffles?

br8kthru @weightwhat nah, make some noise- I like audience participation. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru Hey batter batter batter! Get it? Waffle batter? Yes, I'm preemptively explaining things to you now.



And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

Helenatrandom @weightwhat When you read it, you will be amazed that Bob still married me! :-0

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Oh, go on! He's blessed to have you! Who else can conjugate in so many languages with him?

Helenatrandom @weightwhat He's pretty good at conjugating as well. wink wink nudge nudge...

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Say no more, say no more!

Helenatrandom @weightwhat Veni Vidi Vici! RAWR!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom Helen! Shouldn't you wait for Bob to get home before you start to conjugate?

Yes, that is 5 minutes of your life that you can't get back. You didn't really need those 5 minutes anyway, did you?

Happy Blogoversary to me!

It's my blogoversary today! Where are my presents? What? There are no presents? What about the plethora of piñatas I was hoping for? Really? Nothing? Hmph. I see how you are...

For today's fabulous blogoversary extravaganza, I've decided to do a "best of" of sorts. Plus a bit extra. Yes, I've searched my blog to find my 3.5 fan's (the .5 fan is kinda wishy-washy) favorites and post 'em again. Why? Because I couldn't come up with anything more original. So, for your viewing annoyment enjoyment, I present the following...

Best new invention

"Bra Snacks"

Best clip art

Best video (it's a two-way tie)

Best post (it's from my "Life is Funny" blog carnival)

"A Little Extra Effort"

The following story is not mine. But it sure seems like something I'd do.

I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office. I had been re-scheduled for early that morning at 9:30 am. I had just packed everyone off to school and it was 8:45 a.m. already. The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure I was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the procedure, as most of us do, I hopped on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he said, "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" But I didn't respond. The appointment was over. I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day went normally - some shopping, cleaning, and the evening meal, etc. At 8:30 that evening, my 14-year old daughter was getting ready to go to a school dance when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom, where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get another one from the cabinet. She called back "No! I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it!"

And for a little bit extra...

"You googled what to get here?"

something funny that everyone needs - Well, of course that would lead to my blog. Where else would it go?

today is what i need to deal with tomorrow is something else - Yes, but what IS tomorrow exactly?

I've gotta get out of here - Take me with you!

earn your mancard back - But you can't have mine. I've had it bronzed.

kosher bra - Yes, but would it be considered meat or dairy? Yup, could go both ways. See the conundrum?

nude dietitians - Wow. Really?

jesus turban - It wasn't a turban, it was a Turbie Twist®. Dries your hair faster.

"snot rash" - How to get it or get rid of it?

ooo a sparkly! - Yes, my blog is very twinkly, very sparkly. Like a holiday.

"I peed my" wet pants - I did not! At least, not this week anyway.

no no bad dog - Gidget! This one's for you!

what gives great happened you r life - Huh?

anti raisinite - Wow, it's like they know me...

I think that's enough for now. I wouldn't want to overwhelm you with too much fabulousness. No, no. No applause. Just throw money.

Parenting 101 - The beginning

It has come to my attention that some of you out there are not yet parents. I figured this out using my keen observation and by reading the following letter:

Dear Wendy,

We are not parents yet, but would like to be. Can you help us?

Signed,
Desperate to Use Your Parenting 101 Tips

Being the helpful sort that I am, I will give my expert guidance on the subject. How does one *ahem* become a parent in the first place? The following video should explain everything very clearly.

You're welcome.

Life is Funny - The tea party

It's that time again! Who has something funny to share? Do your post and sign up with Mr. Linky below. Don't keep the funny to yourself!

Today's post is not my own work. Hey, I've told you before that bloggers steal stuff. This comes from an email that my mom forwarded to me and it's just too funny not to pass up...

CUP OF TEA

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 3 years old, and someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift. It was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home. My dad made her sit quietly in another room, so Mom could watch me bring Dad the cup of tea, because I was so cute.

Mom waited, and sure enough, I came walking down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. Mom watches Dad drink from the tea cup.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

So now it's your turn! What have you brought to share with us today?

For all you single ladies out there (No, it's not what you may think)

Today's Saturday Silliness goes out to all the single gals out there. It's tough to find a good man, isn't it? Well luckily, you've come to my blog and I'm here to help out. What you need is just a little basic instruction to get you on your way to marital bliss. Just watch the following video, and you'll be hearing church bells ringing in no time!

It's not the size of the tweet...

Hello, my name is Wendy and I've been a Twitter Slacker. Again. Yup, been a bit light on the Twitter again. But hey, it saves you from all that extra reading, right? So here ya go. The best and worst of my week on Twitter. You're welcome.

The one liners

I'm early for an appt. Clearly this signals the end of days.

It's raining. In Washington. Crazy, huh?

Pringles and chocolate gelato: The new breakfast of champions.

weightwhat RT @PamperingBeki Please keep your fingers out of my nose. #thingsIneverthoughtIdsay

weightwhat Because the dog doesn't like being poked there. #thingsIneverthoughtIdsay

weightwhat Now tell me again how the glue got THERE? #thingsIneverthoughtIdsay

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley I think everyone will be driving their kids to school while wearing their jammies in the future. I'm a trendsetter.

@makeadiff21 Need to borrow a cattle prod?

Gotta drive the kiddo to school. She missed the bus. Yes, now the school gets to see me in my jammies. How lucky are they?

@Helenatrandom Oh Helen, have I taught you nothing during our time together? Raisins are evil and can only be made moreso.

@br8kthru I'm away for 2 minutes and I come back to see I'm getting blamed for stuff? Really?

@stretchmarkmama Heh heh, she said buttress.

A little bit longer ones

ImAPennyPincher DH is a hard core meatetarian, but I am seriously considering a few meatless dishes a week... suggestions anyone??

weightwhat @ImAPennyPincher Yeah. Make meat.



marni71 @weightwhat What's up??

weightwhat @marni71 The sky, the price of gas and the size of my shoes. Stupid big feet.



katdish @Helenatrandom @makeadiff21 @Doallas @BridgetChumbley @billycoffey @HeatherSunseri @br8kthru Thx for the RTs. I'm officially overexposed

weightwhat @katdish Maybe now's a good time to get out that Snuggie then. We wouldn't want you all overexposed.

PuriChristos @weightwhat @katdish ewww



weightwhat Whoa. This bag of Pirate Booty was full just a minute ago.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat What? You're holding a pirate's booty? Isn't that inappropriate?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I bought him dinner first.



@sarahmsalter I love egg nog! I assume Wild Turkey is bourbon? I don't know my likker.

@CandySteele TWSS



And the ‘why don’t you just post the whole conversation’ ones

weightwhat So, how is everyone this morning?

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Did I mention we have sun this morning?? SO happy.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Sun? Is this unusual for where you are?

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Well, now that you're here, evidently the sun has come out at @makeadiff21's house. See how powerful you are? ;-)

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Well, I am Sweetness and Light™.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat Oh, Wendy, we ALL live to be harrassed by you. You are the wind beneath our wings. ::batting eyelashes::

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Truer words were never spoken.

br8kthru @weightwhat when I said make some trouble- I didn't mean harassing me...

weightwhat @br8kthru No, you only thought you meant not to harass you. In actuality, you live for being harassed by me. Denying it will get you nowhere

br8kthru @weightwhat I have been instructed to deny, deny, deny... By whom? that's for me to know & you to find out.

weightwhat @br8kthru Shall it be torture then? Bring out the comfy chair and the soft cushions!

br8kthru @weightwhat Okay, commence the confusion... Now I'm just lost. Was bound to happen really...

weightwhat @br8kthru Must I explain everything? http://bit.ly/P2stC

Feel like you didn't get your fill of tweets? Then head on over to Fellowship of the Traveling Smarty Pants to see what others have been working on this week.