Thursday, July 29, 2010

It's snot funny

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I spent yesterday being disturbed. And no, not pleasantly. What could possibly disturb mild mannered little me? Allergies. Bad ones. Ones that make me don my protective headgear.

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I had to go to Target yesteday to get reinforcements - another multi-pack of tissue (with lotion in it, of course). I thought I was walking in there totally prepared, having filled my pockets with tissues, but there wasn't enough preparation in the world enough to cover these allergies.

As my daughter and I worked our way through the store, I was quickly using up my tissue supply. I was a sight to behold with my red, chapped nose and my watering eyes. But clearly, that wasn't enough for me, because by the time we'd reached the back of the store, I was on my last tissue. Last tissue. In the back of the store. Far away from the restrooms where I could get a toilet paper backup.

Ya ever have so much snot in your nose that when you blow your nose it shoots out of the bottom of the tissue and down inside the v-neck of your t-shirt, sliming you completely? Uh, yeah, that never happened to me, either.

Target has all those scanning stations all over the store that also have a phone and a trash can attached. Well, they USED to have paper towels in them, too. Yeah. Used to. Stupid budget cuts.

I finally made it to the bathroom. It was a big cleanup job. I guess I should feel bad for whoever got that cart after me... And now I can't help but wonder, were the security guards having a good laugh while watching me on the monitors yesteday? Or are they now as disturbed as I am?

9 comments:

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...

Wow, we both wrote about toilet paper today. Proof that our pleasant disturbitudeis compatible.

I'll loan you some Charmin after I stab it.

K8 said...

I've had something similar happen before. I just opened a new box of tissues and started using it through the store. Poor lady at the checkout was about to ask, then looked up and shut up, guess it was that obvious!

Helen said...

I had to reread your sentence about the paper towels more than once. I kept reading that you were so desperate, you used paper towels that you found that had been previously discarded. So glad that I reread that a couple of times and got that straightened out.

jasonS said...

My guess is the security guards were so thoroughly bothered by the horror of your snot display that they reevaluated their lives, saw the shortness of life, and decided to go help orphans in India. You and your snot are heroes! Making the world a better place one tissue at a time. I salute you.

HisFireFly said...

I agree with Jason...

You'll never know just how much good has come from your little mis-adventure ;-)

Claudia said...

love that picture - and - yep - toilet paper poetry - sooooo good!

Duane Scott said...

Haha! Now I want one of those hats!

And I agree with Jason. You and your snots are heroes.

Kory said...

Duane..That was rather snotty thing to say! LOL!!! I'm here all week!

Sandra Heska King said...

I am like totally grossed out now.

Love the picture!