Monday, July 12, 2010

Life is Funny - Food is sneaky

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My daughter and I are plagued with an eating problem. You see, when we eat, the food does whatever it can to not go into our mouths. Yes, I blame the food. Food is very sneaky, you know.


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These days, it's just not a meal unless some of it has dropped on me. My family has stopped telling me when I've been the victim of a food attack, and instead just say, "It's a meal!" Unfortunately for me, my favorite sandwich is a French Dip. Yeah, there's no walking away from that meal without au jus carnage. The other night we went out for Mexican food. Somehow, I managed to get a blob of refried beans on my neck. My neck! How does that even happen? Clearly the food was going for my jugular.

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As I said though, this food curse is not limited to me. Yes, it's gone after my daughter, too. The food makes her eat it from the center instead of the edges. The result is food covering both sides of her cheeks almost back to the ears. But sometimes, the food is even more devious. The other day, I took my daughter to Costco, one of her favorite places. Why? The samples, of course! One of the samples this day was the mini chocolate croissant bites. I know, yummy, huh? So they took these already small bites and cut them in half to make a sample. Sounds easy enough, right? Yeah. As is normal for us, I did a mouth check on my daughter after she ate it. And also, as normal, there was food on either side of her mouth. I told her to clean it off and we continued walking. When we got to the front of the store, she turned and I saw the other side of her face. Cheek to ear were covered in chocolate. But wait! There's more! She had chocolate up on her forehead starting right above her eyebrow. How? The world may never know. But there it was. Of course by this time, it had dried nicely, so my daughter had to endure Mommy spit to get it off. We then went and had slices of Costco pizza, which ended up everywhere. But it turns out that the mini chocolate croissant bite was not yet done with my daughter. Somehow, even though she was standing up when she had the sample, chocolate had fallen and attached itself to her shorts. The exact place on her shorts that she managed to rest her hand. So the chocolate smearing went on. Unbelievable!

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Eating is an adventure with us. On the upside though, we've always got a snack for later somewhere on our person. On the downside, napkins don't stand a chance against us. Sometimes, only a firehose will do.

Ready to join the Life is Funny carnival? Just do a post on your blog about how your life is funny, a joke or whatever. See how easy I am? Just make sure you link it up to my blog and put the link to your post below with Mr. Linky. Just don't give Mr. Linky any food while you're there. Watching him eat is just not pretty.


10 comments:

Ginny (MAD21) said...

My family has this disorder, too. It's at it's worst when we wear white or light colored clothing.

Helen said...

Sigh. Me too.

jasonS said...

How many trees have died so that you can have napkins to aid your curse? Think of the trees! We have to find a cure before the Amazon rain forests cease to exist entirely. :)

Tony C said...

I share this same affliction...

If I'm eating it...I'm wearing it!

The world just got a lot smaller. Thanks.

Wendy said...

No worries, Jason. We don't use paper napkins to clean up with, so the trees won't be hurt. We use napkins made from baby Polar Bear fur. Much more absorbant.

jasonS said...

All I have to say... THANK GOD! That was a close one...

Water Shack Lady said...

I am so entranced by that little face it makes no difference if it is messy.
She is a poster child for IMPISHLY ADORABLE.

Mommy spit is highly under rated. You could scour away barnacles on a battleship if you could collect enough. And that's the truff...Pfhtttt

Rebecca on The Homefront said...

Sounds like a day in the life around here...except it skipped my daughter and went directly from me to my son. Hubby can't understand how we manage it, but that doesn't stop him from laughing at my bib...I mean, shirt...whenever we're out. :P

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

So. Stinking. Cute!!

Bridget Chumbley said...

Since some of us are sparkly vampire fans... and some aren't... I thought this was fun and have been meaning to post here forever.