When you least expect it, expect it

Feel free to don your protective gear, because it's Twitter Ho-down time! You knew it was coming, so I hope that you're prepared.

The one-liners

Going to make breakfast now. That's right. All this AND I'm domestic!

I've discovered the ultimate pizza topping. Footlong meatball subs. (RT @badbanana)

DD just told me that she's going to go clean her balls. (bouncy balls) Resisted urge to say "TWHS" to her. Wasn't easy.

ADDerism - I would have a longer Attention Span if so many things weren't so SHINY! (RT @3stepsadd)

RT @Schnik "chosen for what oh great gherkin?" #randomsimpsonquote

Here's your problem - you've got it set to 'evil.' #randomsimpsonquote

I'm a member! #randomsimpsonquote

But it comes with a free frogurt! #randomsimpsonquote

A little bit longer ones

DaleChumbley It would appear the gentleman in front of me on the escalator didn't know someone was behind him... #atomicfart

weightwhat @Schnik Or maybe he did, @DaleChumbley. #justsayin'

Schnik Here's something new and different. I'll be wearing my "Front Desk Nick" hat today, so it seems.

weightwhat @Schnik Is that the one with the propeller on top?

weightwhat @WritingJoy I love twitter. It helps me show the world how perfectly normal I am.

WritingJoy @weightwhat Must be tough if it takes Twitter.

weightwhat @WritingJoy What are you trying to say?

weightwhat My blog post today has gotten quite a few hits, but is seriously lacking comments. Apparently I'm being read by the silent masses.

WritingJoy @weightwhat You've struck everyone dumb with your wit and sheer normalness.

weightwhat @WritingJoy That must be it.

weightwhat @br8kthru You're livin' on the edge there, aren'tcha Jason?

br8kthru @weightwhat I go over the edge when I get out of bed in the morning. You should know, I'm very dangerous #fairwarning

weightwhat @br8kthru Hey, one look at that sweater vest tells me that.

katdish I love automatic DMs after following people! Also? It's opposite day.

weightwhat @katdish Do you love them as much as you love zombie frogs dressed as clowns?

Schnik @weightwhat I've had a conversation about nipples and a separate conversation about headresses. I though about you. #justsayin

weightwhat @Schnik Why does that not surprise me?

weightwhat Don't look @katdish! Too late. She looked. http://tinyurl.com/23uy4su

katdish @weightwhat You are evil, Wendy. Truly.

weightwhat @katdish Who, me?

katdish @JeanneDamoff I've most certainly got the loon part down.

weightwhat @katdish You're a Loon? I always pictured you as more of a Blue-footed Boobie.

katdish @weightwhat That's Big-footed Boobie to you, young lady.

weightwhat Good morning! Please use small words with me - I haven't had my coffee yet.

lainiegallagher @weightwhat Super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious!

weightwhat @lainiegallagher You're not my friend anymore.

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries At 7:30, I was about ready to lie down and die. Right now, I'm just sort of pleasantly fuzzy.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat snort. I need a ruling on this one: "pleasantly fuzzy". TWHS? TWSS? Or am I reaching...?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I think you could go with either one for that little ditty.

weightwhat Is 9:37 am too early for Cheetos? I think not.

WritingJoy @weightwhat It is never too early for Cheetos. Or is it Cheetoes?

weightwhat @WritingJoy Depends. Are your toes covered in powdered cheesy goodness?

SBeeCreations @sarahmsalter Did you know that @weightwhat was so bored while you were gone that she posted like 4 or 5 posts to her blog a week?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Me? Bored? Never... @sarahmsalter! Don't ever leave us like that again! I can't handle being that creative!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Busy day. I've been out running around all day. Okay, not really running. I don't run. I was out frolicking all day.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You don't run, but you frolick? Interesting visual I just had...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter No, I don't frolick. That just sounds like I'm going around licking fro's and that would be weird. I frolic.

The ones that are even longer

Brian_Russell Sometimes... I'm an idiot.

weightwhat @Brian_Russell Aw, you're being too hard on yourself. Sometimes? I think you're much more consistent than that.

Brian_Russell @weightwhat thanks?

weightwhat @Brian_Russell Glad I could be here for you, man.

Helenatrandom @CandySteele Okay, now I have to go google body parts....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom TWSS. And I thought Catholics didn't do that.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat And on the Twitter, too!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'm shocked! My virgin eyes!




stretchmarkmama Breaking new records of unproductivity today.

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Really? Are you dressed?

stretchmarkmama @weightwhat If by "dressed" you mean, "wearing something appropriate for a trip to Wal-Mart," then "yes."

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Well, that certainly does expand the definition of "dressed" now, doesn't it?

weightwhat Coffee in hand. Life can go on.

SBeeCreations At work early this morning and coffeeless.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Sounds like inhuman working conditions to me.

marni71 @weightwhat Amen and Amen. My coffee and I are gonna show Wednesday who's boss!

weightwhat @marni71 It's Wednesday?! GAAAA!!! I need more coffee than I thought.



weightwhat I just talked to @sarahmsalter on the phone!!! She's home and she's good!

weightwhat And @sarahmsalter got a couple of marriage proposals while she was there. She's like catnip to African men...

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat I guess we're lucky @sarahmsalter decided to come home. #meow

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley I think @sarahmsalter just leaves a wake of heartbroken men wherever she goes.



And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

makeadiff21 @weightwhat I have never heard of chocolate zucchini bread. How did I miss that conversation?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 I don't know, but any time a vegetable is willingly passed through my lips there's a chance the earth will fall off it's axis.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Hahaha. I have other friends who don't like veggies, either. We love them in this house. Sorry/you're welcome.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 The chocolate zucchini bread was really good, too! Who am I and why am I saying such things?!

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Haha. Ya well perhaps it's a sign that there may be other veggies you could like so long as they are in disguise.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Whoa, let's not get all crazy here.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Ok. I take it back. You weren't ready yet.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 You shouldn't make be break out into a cold sweat like that.

makeadiff21 @redclaydiaries So work a few hours this morning and then ditch it for fun. Sounds like a good compromise.

redclaydiaries @makeadiff21 U make it sound so easy. #organizedpeoplescareme

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Don't let @makeadiff21 fool you! She tried to get me to try more veggies earlier this morning. Still eyeing her suspiciously.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat She tried to make you eat vegies in the MORNING? That's going too far...

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I know! It's just all kinds of wrong.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Between that & trying to make me prioritize, I'm beginning to think that @makeadiff21 is out to get ADD people.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Are you ready to start eyeing her suspiciously with me?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Oh, I've been looking askance at her since 8:36.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat I don't want to lose my ADHD card. What can I do to earn it back?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 I think you may be beyond help. Veggie pusher.

br8kthru @weightwhat Will we be bringing on the zombies today then? (we totally need our own language- that's what the cool people do)

weightwhat @br8kthru Of course we'll be bringing on the zombies! You know how they get when they're left out.

br8kthru @weightwhat I feel our language should be spoken in an Irish accent if that works for you...

weightwhat @br8kthru How about an Irish pirate accent?

br8kthru @weightwhat Aye, Irish pirate it be then.

weightwhat @br8kthru Yo ho ho and a bowl of Lucky Charms!

weightwhat @br8kthru Bring on the zombies

br8kthru @weightwhat And don't forget to stop and smell the apocalypse!

weightwhat @br8kthru I love the smell of Apocalypse™ in the morning! Now with bacon!

br8kthru @weightwhat I love it the morning, evening, anytime really. There's definitely a warm feeling, but maybe that's the nuclear holocaust...

weightwhat @br8kthru Oh, so you noticed the subtle nuclear holocaust undertones! Fabulous!

br8kthru @weightwhat Well, I have a very refined and sensitive palate.

katdish @weightwhat You can't trademark the Apocalypse!

weightwhat @katdish Why not? No one else has. I called dibs.

br8kthru @katdish It's our new fragrance...

weightwhat @br8kthru @katdish Now with bacon!

br8kthru @CandySteele Hey Candy- heard it;'s your birthday! Hope you've been having a great day & you have a blessed year. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru We should send @CandySteele some Apocalypse™ for her birthday, don't you think?

br8kthru @weightwhat Yeah, let's give @CandySteele a whole case! She'll just pay shipping. What do you use to ship Apocalypse? Hmm- Fed-Ex- gotta be

weightwhat @br8kthru I think you're right. Fed Ex it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmZRDUO1wGQ

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Oh, it's clear to me. BTW, did u see how I cleverly posted to #FOTTSP on Twitter HoDown day? #bulliedbyanibex

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Whoa! And you did a blog post on your blog?! Who are you?!

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I am the Eyjafjallajökull of blogging. Beware the ass clown.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries You really are. All over Europe, flights are now grounded because of you. Bring on the zombies!

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I can't help it. I'm wearing Apocalypse. (I'd do the TM thing, but I'm too lazy to figure out how.)

weightwhat @katdish I offered to send @CandySteele some Apocalypse™, but she didn't seem too thrilled.

katdish @weightwhat What about a burrito fart vuvuzela mandle?

weightwhat @katdish That's still in production. We keep having strange reactions with the testers. Not that foot long nosehair is problem for most.

WritingJoy @weightwhat Wendy has a serious side. :) Thanks for the RT.

weightwhat @WritingJoy Hey, let's not go spreading rumors like that around, huh?

WritingJoy @weightwhat Your secret's safe with me. (Except that you DID retweet it.... to all your followers.) #notverysecretonTwitter

weightwhat @WritingJoy Yes, but they won't necessarily come to the same conclusion. You must remember, I'm followed by crazy people. #yesthismeansyou

rntammyp @weightwhat @writingjoy Well, I'm glad u were talking about Joy. #mademenervousforasec

weightwhat @rntammyp Not so fast, Loopy.

WritingJoy @rntammyp @weightwhat Last time I checked "people" is plural and inclusive, Tammy. Welcome to the Crazy Club.

rntammyp @WritingJoy @weightwhat My DH calls it "Tammy land". #myhappyplace

WritingJoy @rntammyp @weightwhat "Tammy land" has a nice ring to it. Unlike "Joy land."

weightwhat @WritingJoy Okay, "Joy Land" sounds like it should be the name of a certain type of movie. #brownchickenbrowncow (@rntammyp)

WritingJoy @rntammyp @weightwhat All right, I have to ask the stupid question. What is brown chicken brown cow? #homeschooled #sheltered

weightwhat @WritingJoy The family friendly version of an imitation of adult movie music. #youaskedanditold

WritingJoy @weightwhat I was guessing that, but didn't want to assume everyone went straight to the gutter like I do.

weightwhat @WritingJoy They don't?!

Okay, take a break. But be warned... There's more Twitter Ho-down to come! Muahahahaha!