Wednesday, July 28, 2010

When you least expect it, expect it


Feel free to don your protective gear, because it's Twitter Ho-down time! You knew it was coming, so I hope that you're prepared.

The one-liners

Going to make breakfast now. That's right. All this AND I'm domestic!

I've discovered the ultimate pizza topping. Footlong meatball subs. (RT @badbanana)

DD just told me that she's going to go clean her balls. (bouncy balls) Resisted urge to say "TWHS" to her. Wasn't easy.

ADDerism - I would have a longer Attention Span if so many things weren't so SHINY! (RT @3stepsadd)

RT @Schnik "chosen for what oh great gherkin?" #randomsimpsonquote

Here's your problem - you've got it set to 'evil.' #randomsimpsonquote

I'm a member! #randomsimpsonquote

But it comes with a free frogurt! #randomsimpsonquote

A little bit longer ones

DaleChumbley It would appear the gentleman in front of me on the escalator didn't know someone was behind him... #atomicfart

weightwhat @Schnik Or maybe he did, @DaleChumbley. #justsayin'

Schnik Here's something new and different. I'll be wearing my "Front Desk Nick" hat today, so it seems.

weightwhat @Schnik Is that the one with the propeller on top?

weightwhat @WritingJoy I love twitter. It helps me show the world how perfectly normal I am.

WritingJoy @weightwhat Must be tough if it takes Twitter.

weightwhat @WritingJoy What are you trying to say?

weightwhat My blog post today has gotten quite a few hits, but is seriously lacking comments. Apparently I'm being read by the silent masses.

WritingJoy @weightwhat You've struck everyone dumb with your wit and sheer normalness.

weightwhat @WritingJoy That must be it.

weightwhat @br8kthru You're livin' on the edge there, aren'tcha Jason?

br8kthru @weightwhat I go over the edge when I get out of bed in the morning. You should know, I'm very dangerous #fairwarning

weightwhat @br8kthru Hey, one look at that sweater vest tells me that.

katdish I love automatic DMs after following people! Also? It's opposite day.

weightwhat @katdish Do you love them as much as you love zombie frogs dressed as clowns?

Schnik @weightwhat I've had a conversation about nipples and a separate conversation about headresses. I though about you. #justsayin

weightwhat @Schnik Why does that not surprise me?

weightwhat Don't look @katdish! Too late. She looked.


katdish @weightwhat You are evil, Wendy. Truly.

weightwhat @katdish Who, me?

katdish @JeanneDamoff I've most certainly got the loon part down.

weightwhat @katdish You're a Loon? I always pictured you as more of a Blue-footed Boobie.

katdish @weightwhat That's Big-footed Boobie to you, young lady.

weightwhat Good morning! Please use small words with me - I haven't had my coffee yet.

lainiegallagher @weightwhat Super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious!

weightwhat @lainiegallagher You're not my friend anymore.

sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries At 7:30, I was about ready to lie down and die. Right now, I'm just sort of pleasantly fuzzy.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat snort. I need a ruling on this one: "pleasantly fuzzy". TWHS? TWSS? Or am I reaching...?

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I think you could go with either one for that little ditty.

weightwhat Is 9:37 am too early for Cheetos? I think not.

WritingJoy @weightwhat It is never too early for Cheetos. Or is it Cheetoes?

weightwhat @WritingJoy Depends. Are your toes covered in powdered cheesy goodness?

SBeeCreations @sarahmsalter Did you know that @weightwhat was so bored while you were gone that she posted like 4 or 5 posts to her blog a week?

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Me? Bored? Never... @sarahmsalter! Don't ever leave us like that again! I can't handle being that creative!

weightwhat @sarahmsalter Busy day. I've been out running around all day. Okay, not really running. I don't run. I was out frolicking all day.

sarahmsalter @weightwhat You don't run, but you frolick? Interesting visual I just had...

weightwhat @sarahmsalter No, I don't frolick. That just sounds like I'm going around licking fro's and that would be weird. I frolic.

The ones that are even longer

Brian_Russell Sometimes... I'm an idiot.

weightwhat @Brian_Russell Aw, you're being too hard on yourself. Sometimes? I think you're much more consistent than that.

Brian_Russell @weightwhat thanks?

weightwhat @Brian_Russell Glad I could be here for you, man.

Helenatrandom @CandySteele Okay, now I have to go google body parts....

weightwhat @Helenatrandom TWSS. And I thought Catholics didn't do that.

Helenatrandom @weightwhat And on the Twitter, too!

weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'm shocked! My virgin eyes!

stretchmarkmama Breaking new records of unproductivity today.

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Really? Are you dressed?

stretchmarkmama @weightwhat If by "dressed" you mean, "wearing something appropriate for a trip to Wal-Mart," then "yes."

weightwhat @stretchmarkmama Well, that certainly does expand the definition of "dressed" now, doesn't it?

weightwhat Coffee in hand. Life can go on.

SBeeCreations At work early this morning and coffeeless.

weightwhat @SBeeCreations Sounds like inhuman working conditions to me.

marni71 @weightwhat Amen and Amen. My coffee and I are gonna show Wednesday who's boss!

weightwhat @marni71 It's Wednesday?! GAAAA!!! I need more coffee than I thought.

weightwhat I just talked to @sarahmsalter on the phone!!! She's home and she's good!

weightwhat And @sarahmsalter got a couple of marriage proposals while she was there. She's like catnip to African men...

BridgetChumbley @weightwhat I guess we're lucky @sarahmsalter decided to come home. #meow

weightwhat @BridgetChumbley I think @sarahmsalter just leaves a wake of heartbroken men wherever she goes.

And the 'why don't you just post the whole conversation' ones

makeadiff21 @weightwhat I have never heard of chocolate zucchini bread. How did I miss that conversation?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 I don't know, but any time a vegetable is willingly passed through my lips there's a chance the earth will fall off it's axis.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Hahaha. I have other friends who don't like veggies, either. We love them in this house. Sorry/you're welcome.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 The chocolate zucchini bread was really good, too! Who am I and why am I saying such things?!

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Haha. Ya well perhaps it's a sign that there may be other veggies you could like so long as they are in disguise.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 Whoa, let's not get all crazy here.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat Ok. I take it back. You weren't ready yet.

weightwhat @makeadiff21 You shouldn't make be break out into a cold sweat like that.

makeadiff21 @redclaydiaries So work a few hours this morning and then ditch it for fun. Sounds like a good compromise.

redclaydiaries @makeadiff21 U make it sound so easy. #organizedpeoplescareme

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Don't let @makeadiff21 fool you! She tried to get me to try more veggies earlier this morning. Still eyeing her suspiciously.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat She tried to make you eat vegies in the MORNING? That's going too far...

weightwhat @redclaydiaries I know! It's just all kinds of wrong.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Between that & trying to make me prioritize, I'm beginning to think that @makeadiff21 is out to get ADD people.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Are you ready to start eyeing her suspiciously with me?

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Oh, I've been looking askance at her since 8:36.

makeadiff21 @weightwhat I don't want to lose my ADHD card. What can I do to earn it back?

weightwhat @makeadiff21 I think you may be beyond help. Veggie pusher.

br8kthru @weightwhat Will we be bringing on the zombies today then? (we totally need our own language- that's what the cool people do)

weightwhat @br8kthru Of course we'll be bringing on the zombies! You know how they get when they're left out.

br8kthru @weightwhat I feel our language should be spoken in an Irish accent if that works for you...

weightwhat @br8kthru How about an Irish pirate accent?

br8kthru @weightwhat Aye, Irish pirate it be then.

weightwhat @br8kthru Yo ho ho and a bowl of Lucky Charms!

weightwhat @br8kthru Bring on the zombies

br8kthru @weightwhat And don't forget to stop and smell the apocalypse!

weightwhat @br8kthru I love the smell of Apocalypse™ in the morning! Now with bacon!

br8kthru @weightwhat I love it the morning, evening, anytime really. There's definitely a warm feeling, but maybe that's the nuclear holocaust...

weightwhat @br8kthru Oh, so you noticed the subtle nuclear holocaust undertones! Fabulous!

br8kthru @weightwhat Well, I have a very refined and sensitive palate.

katdish @weightwhat You can't trademark the Apocalypse!

weightwhat @katdish Why not? No one else has. I called dibs.

br8kthru @katdish It's our new fragrance...

weightwhat @br8kthru @katdish Now with bacon!

br8kthru @CandySteele Hey Candy- heard it;'s your birthday! Hope you've been having a great day & you have a blessed year. :)

weightwhat @br8kthru We should send @CandySteele some Apocalypse™ for her birthday, don't you think?

br8kthru @weightwhat Yeah, let's give @CandySteele a whole case! She'll just pay shipping. What do you use to ship Apocalypse? Hmm- Fed-Ex- gotta be

weightwhat @br8kthru I think you're right. Fed Ex it is.

redclaydiaries @weightwhat Oh, it's clear to me. BTW, did u see how I cleverly posted to #FOTTSP on Twitter HoDown day? #bulliedbyanibex

weightwhat @redclaydiaries Whoa! And you did a blog post on your blog?! Who are you?!

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I am the Eyjafjallajökull of blogging. Beware the ass clown.

weightwhat @redclaydiaries You really are. All over Europe, flights are now grounded because of you. Bring on the zombies!

redclaydiaries @weightwhat I can't help it. I'm wearing Apocalypse. (I'd do the TM thing, but I'm too lazy to figure out how.)

weightwhat @katdish I offered to send @CandySteele some Apocalypse™, but she didn't seem too thrilled.

katdish @weightwhat What about a burrito fart vuvuzela mandle?

weightwhat @katdish That's still in production. We keep having strange reactions with the testers. Not that foot long nosehair is problem for most.

WritingJoy @weightwhat Wendy has a serious side. :) Thanks for the RT.

weightwhat @WritingJoy Hey, let's not go spreading rumors like that around, huh?

WritingJoy @weightwhat Your secret's safe with me. (Except that you DID retweet it.... to all your followers.) #notverysecretonTwitter

weightwhat @WritingJoy Yes, but they won't necessarily come to the same conclusion. You must remember, I'm followed by crazy people. #yesthismeansyou

rntammyp @weightwhat @writingjoy Well, I'm glad u were talking about Joy. #mademenervousforasec

weightwhat @rntammyp Not so fast, Loopy.

WritingJoy @rntammyp @weightwhat Last time I checked "people" is plural and inclusive, Tammy. Welcome to the Crazy Club.

rntammyp @WritingJoy @weightwhat My DH calls it "Tammy land". #myhappyplace

WritingJoy @rntammyp @weightwhat "Tammy land" has a nice ring to it. Unlike "Joy land."

weightwhat @WritingJoy Okay, "Joy Land" sounds like it should be the name of a certain type of movie. #brownchickenbrowncow (@rntammyp)

WritingJoy @rntammyp @weightwhat All right, I have to ask the stupid question. What is brown chicken brown cow? #homeschooled #sheltered

weightwhat @WritingJoy The family friendly version of an imitation of adult movie music. #youaskedanditold

WritingJoy @weightwhat I was guessing that, but didn't want to assume everyone went straight to the gutter like I do.

weightwhat @WritingJoy They don't?!

Okay, take a break. But be warned... There's more Twitter Ho-down to come! Muahahahaha!


K8 said...

Perhaps I should dedicate the rest of my week trying to position myself for a spot on the "ho-down". LOL! Always a great read, thanks for sharing Wendy!

jasonS said...

Wow, what a week! I was just trying to remember the other day what phrases we were using. It's funny to read them back, but they can't make much sense to someone who doesn't know about it. Thanks for the joy (that may or may not be gas).

Joy said...

In keeping with my strategy of "no question is a dumb question" I have to ask: Is an ass-clown an anatomical reference or a personality description? How would one use it in a sentence, for example?

Ginny (MAD21) said...

"ADDerism - I would have a longer Attention Span if so many things weren't so SHINY!"

HAHA! If it were on a shirt I would so wear that. Love it.

Now go, eat your veggies :o)

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...

Joy, Wendy tweeted me about your question. After I slapped her for being overly familiar, I came over.

Ass clown = the clown of asses that arrives soon after a volcanic eruption.

Based on this post on my blog: Beware the Ass Clown!

Oh, and my word verification was hempicen.

Hempicen: Pain reliever made from hemp, legal for medicinal purposes in California. Side effects include double rainbowgasms and a craving for Cheetos. (But not Cheetoes.)

Helen said...

We hardly tweet at all any more...