Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Guest commenters wanted

It's that time of year again! Time for the possible onslaught of gifts you never dreamed possible. And by that, I mean the truly tacky and/or thoughtless gifts given to you by people who claim to be your friends or family members. C'mon, we've all gotten them.


One of my all-time favorite tacky gifts came from my grandma. With grandma's gifts, you just learned to put on that fake smile and say thank you. But this year was above and beyond her usual gift giving skills. She got my sister and me polyester mumuus. Oh, they were fanciful. I can't remember if I was in junior high or high school at the time, but clearly they were meant for someone over 70 on their way to a vacation in Boca. Luckily for me, I'm all about the tacky. So I took my mumuus, and those of my sister who was more than happy to be rid of them, and put them into my costume box. And yes, I have worn one. In public. Fear me.

So, what have you gotten for Christmas that's been, um, memorable? I'm inviting my tens of readers to take over my comment section to share/purge/find a happy place and tell the rest of us about the oh-so-special gifts you've gotten over the years. Remember, laughter is theraputic. And we're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you. Okay, maybe we're kinda laughing at you...

12 comments:

Ginny (MAD21) said...

The best I can come up with is a sweater my dad got me once back in high school. For some reason he was SO excited to give it to me. He had found it on one of his business trips, and thought I would love it.

It was awful. But I knew how much it meant to him. He didn't get excited about giving gifts very often. So I humbly wore it to school a few times, with something underneath it so I could take it off later.

I think I finally gave it away a few years later after I had moved out.

gina said...

lol. i had to come over from twitter- your call for "guest" commenters cracked me up. Um, gifts, hmm... I am ONLY going to admit it here- but one year, maybe K, my oldest's teacher thought it was a really GOOD idea to amke clay strawberries the size of my daughter's FIST and and have them paint them and THEN make them in to PINS for us to wear. I think it was mother's day come to think of it , but STILL. And don't you know my daughter EXPECTED me to wear that 5lb thing hanging off my shirt EVERYWHERE. Which I did, but geez, teacher, I could have lived with another macaroni necklace or something. At least those don't pull your shirt down in a completely unflattering manner. ;)

Marni said...

I have a doozie. But frankly, I don't think I have it in me to tell the story again. I think I left in SFL's comment section once so maybe I can go find it there and link and spare myself the trauma of reliving it again.

PLEASE tell me you have pictures of yourself in the muumuu. PLEASE.

Marni said...

Found it! Enjoy...and try not to be jealous:
----------------------------
My husband is a police officer. He was hired on just after Christmas in 1991. The following Christmas, his parents decide to get me a gift to commemorate our marriage and his profession.

Everyone in the room must have known what I was getting except me, because they all stopped unwrapping their gifts to watch me open mine.

It was a gold chain with a large gold pendant (think slightly larger than golf ball sized) and in flourish-y script, it read "Cop's Lady". And if that wasn't sufficient, it was randomly studded with mine and the hubby's birthstones.

I was gracious and thanked them profusely, but in my head I was hearing "I pity da fool, I pity da fool".

To make matters worse, my husband liked it! So I had to wear the gosh-awful thing a few times (IN PUBLIC MIND YOU) before I tragically "lost it".

Kelli said...

LOL - LOVE that you wore the mumuu out in public!

The year before I got married (I was engaged to my husband, but had never met his mother - who was a bit estranged/strange), my future hubs and I received matching sweatshirts. That would have been nice. In theory. These sweatshirts were size Medium generic maroon colored sweatshirts, like the kind you get from Walgreens or Walmart. I'll give you a hint - neither hubs or I wear size mediums (unfortunately, not even close). When I opened the box, I was taken aback by the smell of rancid cigarettes. I pulled the sweatshirt out of the box to find a partially used cigarette butt also in the box.

Gee, thanks mom.

jasonS said...

Maybe I should speak on condition of anonymity. I'm one of those weird guys that doesn't mind getting cool house decorating things (like a box or even a candle holder). Well, when I joined my wife's family, their definition of cool and mine were a tad different. I got some interesting things for sure (the thought and love behind it, I have to say were truly felt).

One time I ended up with not one but two bronze-colored metal pointy Christmas tree things that stand about 10 inches tall. Not sure who told Santa I wanted that, but I accepted graciously anyway. :)

Sarah Salter said...

Well, I have no husband, thus, no in-laws. And I only had one grandmother while I was growing up and she had impeccable taste. So, I'm a little thin in the tacky present area. But, I did have one sweet great aunt named Evelyn that hosted our Christmas gathering each Christmas Eve. She was so scared I wouldn't have something under the tree that each year, she'd run into the kitchen and grab a random piece of dishware out of her cabinet, stick it in a gift bag, and scrawl my name on the bag. To this day, I have all of her random pieces among the sets of dishes that live in my cabinet.

katdish said...

How much space do I have here? Too many to mention. Forturnately, we get invited to a few white elephant Christmas parties, so I have been able to spread the love. My dad gave my son a singing billy bass (Christmas version). Sadly, I accidently dropped a hammer on it repeatedly.

Gretchen said...

My dad and his new wife were trying to get on our good sides after a hard year. So, they decided to appeal to the three years I lived in Warsaw, Poland, and got me "Polish American Christmas Carol Karaoke DVD". AND...a size extra-large, Barney the dinosaur-colored sweatshirt that read "WORLD'S GREATEST AUNT" (I'm a size 4 living in Boston, where no one wears sweatshirts unless they're Red Sox or Patriots-related).

Good times...

Terra said...

I can't think of anything myself...but I have a friend who always receives something her MIL has purchased at a garage sale in obviously used condition...those gifts are memorable for sure.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

After being on the "honey-do" list for a long time, I told RB all I wanted was a new faucet for our bathroom. So I got it. What I SHOULD have said was that I wanted and INSTALLED NEW FAUCET, because it was August before it got installed. I looked at that faucet in the box for 8 stinkin' months.

Max02 said...

TOO funny!