Friday, March 6, 2009

Friends don't let friends run

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Friends, I have noticed an unnatural trend rising. I must say that I'm shocked at the behavior being displayed in public - after all, children could be watching! I'm sure you've witnessed it yourselves. We must take a stand and fight this outrageous behavior! Yes, I'm talking about running.

I was reading Darcie's blog yesterday, and I was stunned to find that her seemingly normal husband was trying to get her to...run. I know! I couldn't believe it myself! What I found most grievous was that she was giving in to him! Say it isn't so, Darcie!

So I did what any real friend would do. I talked her down.

For those of you out there who are not in-the-know, let me lay out some simple guidelines for when it is permissible to run:

1. When you're being chased by a monster. Now, we all know that monsters don't really exist, so this is not a valid excuse. Besides, if you really did see a monster, you'd want to stop and take a picture of it to sell on the internet.

2. You're running to get the phone. But then again, you could just let the machine get it. Would you want to be known as the person who ran to pick up a phone call only to have it be a telemarketer on the other end of the line?

3. There's a 90% off shoe sale. Okay, now that's a valid reason. And if you find any black flat mules in my size, give me a call, huh?

So friends, be on the lookout for these ne'er-do-wells and talk them down from the endorphin high that they're on. Remember, friends don't let friends run.

8 comments:

Kelly said...

Thank you for taking a stand on this. I mean someone has to be the voice of reason for those who have been led astray.

Heather said...

I couldn't agree more with your thoughts on running. I have taken the stand in my house as well!

MoonGoddess said...

You know I have never been a runner. I tried it once, but eh... I was always the gal in PE who made a stand against running the mile saying that I was brought up never to run from problems but rather to face them head on.

that being said, I am jealous of those bodies runners seem to get as a side effect. I tend to toy with the idea about 3-4 times a year yet I never get much further than speed walking & that tend to never last as long.

So here, here for your stand against running. Why bother to? there are just too many things you miss when you speed through life!

gina said...

My husband's a runner- he says things like : I ran 6and 1/2 miles today- I feel great. And I roll over and go back to sleep until the sun comes up. ;)

Darcie - Such The Spot said...

My name is Darcie. And I run.

The first step is admitting your problem right? :)

When I'm running I'm *pretending* that I'm en route to a shoe sale. Doesn't that count?

The Fat Dietitian said...

LOL! Just what I needed to read after being discouraged about my inability to run... Honestly, if I were being chased by a vicious animal I would simply end up being mauled because I am incapable of running! :)

Liz said...

I used to feel the way you do about running. Even made jokes about the only way I would run is if I was running away from something. But guess what? I became a runner because of some gentle pushing from my BFF. I can't run far, but I can run. And I was the worst in gym class, totally unathletic. So you just never know... =)

By the way, I read your 100 Things list, and you appear to be a Disney fan like me. Cool!

Connie Weiss said...

LOL! That is so funny! I want to be a runner....just need to lose a ton of weight first so that my fat doesn't jiggle!