Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Mystery meat - why is it still moving?

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The other day, I gave my lovely readers a chance to throw out ideas on what they thought I should write about. So today's topic, cafeteria food, is brought to you by Heather. If you like what you read today, tell me about it in the comments. If you don't like it, feel free to comment on Heather's blog. :o)

Oh cafeteria food... Is it a punishment? A curse? Or just a rite of passage? I've mentioned what cafeteria food did for me in an old post (see #20), and while that was entertaining, it wasn't exactly something I could add to my resume. And while being turned into a gas giant may just seem like playful fun dished up by a lady in a hairnet, cafeteria food at my school also had a dark underbelly.

An evil underbelly.

They would hide things in the food there. Vile, ugly, evil things. Yes folks, they hid mushrooms in the food. Mushrooms! That's fungus that grows in cow poo! Why would I want to put that in my mouth? Fortunately, I was on to their scheme early on in my college career, and I knew to look for said mushrooms so I could pick them out.

But one day, my luck ran out.

Poor, innocent me went to the cafeteria to find the sustenance I'd need to make it through the day when I was greeted by the menu board which said "cheeseburgers." No one's afraid of a little cheeseburger, right? I was lulled into a feeling of safety with this meal. I brought my cheeseburger over to a table and sat down. Just to give myself some peace of mind, I lifted up the bun to make sure that there were no surprises waiting for me. Cheese and meat - I was safe. Or was I...? They set me up with a false sense of security, then WHAM! As soon as I bit into that burger, I knew that evil was afoot. Because hidden under the cheese was a pile of mushrooms! Who does that?! I could almost hear that hairnetted lady behind the counter snickering. Okay evil lunch lady, you won that time, but I lived to tell the story and spread the word to all who will listen:

Never trust anyone in a hairnet.

Hey, you look like you've got a funny life. Why don't you tell us about it? Join the Life is Funny Carnival. Really, we're laughing with you.

9 comments:

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Just today we asked my 5th grade son what he'd learned when the middle school counselor visited his school to prep the kids for next year.

The one thing he was most excited about:
The counselor said that the middle school cafeteria DEFINITELY has better food.

Now my 3rd grade daughter is counting the days till she goes to middle school.

I'm gonna tell you a little secret about me from college cafeteria days (based on your 100 things post):

My college friends called me Master Blaster.

Draw your own conclusions.

MoonGoddess said...

as someone who is certainly NOT a fan of fungi, THAT IS JUST WRONG!!

Plus what if you had an allergy to mushrooms?

Ug. That is one of the best things about getting out of school... no more mystery "meat".

On a similar note, I was taken to lunch by my new boss & a couple of the other guys to a restaurant they go to a lot. They knew their order & I quickly chose some chicken mole. They ordered the "speedy gonzalez" ... I almost busted out laughing! All I could think of was did they just order a RAT!?! Course it was just code for some combo platter...but still had me giggling!

Jaime (ChaseNKids) said...

My five year old will not eat cafeteria food. Her teacher bargains with her. I keep getting notes that say, "Eden Marie only eats lunch when she brings it from home!"

I think they are trying to tell me something...

gina said...

That's why- from grade seven on- I lived off of fritos and good humor ice cream for 30 cents in the "snack line".

Heather said...

Well everyone must have liked the post because no one came over the complain to me!
I went to boarding school for some of my high school and I gotta say the only meal that I could get down was the one that they served tater tots. I mean when you start thinking that peanut butter and pickles sounds like a good meal something is very wrong!
Thank you so much for this post Wendy. I just knew you would have something to share about this right of passage!

Helen said...

How long have you had this abnormal aversion to mushrooms? At the renfair in Bristol, they serve a grilled portabella mushroom on a hamburger bun. It would be better with cheese, but what can you do?

sherri said...

Okay- Im just here to settle a score. I saw where you were drawing lude and crude pictures on another blogsite of my ample rear!

Really. Ya'd think that a girl could just go to work, mind her own business, write a blog about prayer and come back home to just a normal evening checking out friend's blogs. First one I visit has my butt drawn/typed on it!!!!

Don't make me come up there!

I do a mean toe stompin' and nail scratching (meow). I hope you're up to it!
I'll find you Wendy, I will.

This is me sayin' BRING IT ON!!!!

(But not till later cause I'm going Hraley riding)

sherri said...

Okay- I'm back and feelin' sassy. I'm typing this in black leather so sorry if I come across a bit...jaded!

And, FYI, "Hraley" ridin' is when an ex- cheerleader (such as myself) goes ridin' on a Harley. You know, HOORAH! It's Harley ridin' time!
"Hraley" for short.

And I can't believe the disrespect to come on my blog with a sensitive post about prayer and not only criticize the size of the junk in my trunk, but then stoop even lower and poke fun at what you ASSUMED to be a typo and then stoop even lower to make a snarky comment about my being a short person!!!! It is obvious you've being reading WAY too much of katdish's stuff.
When I get my tattoos, and a few piercings, I'm gonna' ride up your way on Big Al's HRALEY and let you see my pointed toe thigh high black leather boots CLOSE-UP!
I'm bad, Wendy....sooooo bad. You don't wanna' mess with me!

sherri said...

Where did my other comment go? I came a few minutes ago and left a snarky one! Did you delete it?

Just so you know, I'm back from my HRaley ride, fully decked out in black leather and thigh high boots!

Got me a couple of tatts on the way home, so I'm feelin' it....

Meet me behind my blog site, to settle this once and for all...