In yesterday's post, I mentioned that there was a practical joke that I wanted to pull off but didn't. I know you're on the edge of your seat wondering what it is, so I won't keep you in suspense anymore. I'm a giver that way.
First, a bit of background. As I mentioned, I went to Westmont College, a small Christian school that was very conservative. There was no drinking, no smoking, you could only be in the room of a member of the opposite sex on certain days, and even then the door must remain open at a 45 degree angle. Don't even think about dancing. Oh, that totally reminds me of a joke... I'll have to get to that later... Anyway, there would be off-campus dances, usually put on by students. There would be fliers that went around, but on the bottom of every flier had to be the statement, "This is not a Westmont function." It became a big joke among my friends and me about what was, and what was not, a "Westmont function."
More background. One of my best friends worked at the health center over at UC Santa Barbara - a hotbed of sin and indisgretion, clearly. In that health center was a giant fishbowl that was filled daily with condoms. Students could just go in and grab what they needed, or liked to think that they'd need.
Last bit of background. Every year, Westmont would have a parent's weekend when parents would come up to stay and tour the campus, visit the classrooms, and take their kids out for meals that did not resemble anything that came from the dining commons. Lots of parents...
And now, for the practical joke that never saw the light of day. My plan was for my friend to start grabbing large handfuls of condoms every day and bring them back to me. Lots and lots of condoms. Then when parent's weekend came around, we'd take this huge stash of condoms, blow them up and write "Not a Westmont function" on all of them. We'd then put them up all over campus just in time for the parents to arrive. A brilliant plan, yet I couldn't get it to work. My friend didn't want people to see her taking condoms and getting the wrong idea. *sigh* I just can't believe that she wouldn't be willing to look like a cheesy tart in order to make my plan work. What's up with that?
I promised you a joke, didn't I? Growing up in a Baptist family, I found this pretty funny. If you're a Baptist and easily shocked, avert your eyes now!
Why don't Baptists believe in pre-marital sex?
Because it could lead to dancing.
Still time to jump on the Life is Funny Carnival Train! If you miss this one, don't worry. The next train will come by on Sunday.