Oprah Lizardfanny

Okay folks, you were warned that this day would come... In an older post I said that I'd post about Captain Underpants (see #28), and now I'm making good on that threat promise.

I have a great fondness for Captain Underpants and his many adventures. I could lie and tell you that it started when I bought a book for my daughter, but the truth is, I've had Captain Underpants books since before she was born. Kind of like my Veggie Tales collection. I can't blame it on the kiddo. It's all my own doing.

One of my favorites of the series is Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants (by Dav Pilkey). Yes, it's very intelligent reading. Anyway, our villain in this story forces everyone to change their names using his "Name Change-O-Chart 2000" - yes, it's evil brilliance. So for your name-changing pleasure, I present the chart, complete with instructions on how to change your name.

First Chart: Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name!

A= Stinky , B= Lumpy , C= Buttercup , D= Gidget ,

E= Crusty , F= Greasy , G=Fluffy , H=Cheeseball ,

I= Chim-Chim , J= Poopsie , K= Flunky , L= Booger ,

M= Pinky , N= Zippy , O= Goober , P= Doofus ,

Q= Slimy , R= Loopy , S= Snotty , T= Falafel ,

U= Dorky , V= Squeezit , W= Oprah , X= Skipper ,

Y= Dinky , Z= Zsa-Zsa

Second Chart: Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name.

A= Diaper , B= Toilet , C= Giggle , D= Bubble ,

E= Girdle , F= Barf , G= Lizard , H= Waffle ,

I= Cootie , J= Monkey , K= Potty , L= Liver ,

M= Banana , N= Rhino , O= Burger , P= Hamster ,

Q= Toad , R= Gizzard , S= Pizza , T= Gerbil ,

U= Chicken , V= Pickle , W= Chuckle , X= Tofu ,

Y= Gorilla , Z= Stinker

Third Chart: Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name.

A= Head , B= Mouth , C= Face , D= Nose ,

E= Tush , F= Breath , G= Pants , H= Shorts ,

I= Lips , J= Honker , K= Butt , L= Brain ,

M= Tushie , N= Chunks , O= Hiney , P= Biscuits ,

Q= Toes , R= Buns , S= Fanny , T= Sniffer ,

U= Sprinkles , V= Kisser , W= Squirt , X= Humperdinck ,

Y= Brains , Z= Juice

M new name is Oprah Lizardfanny and my maiden name is Bananapants. Pretty fun, huh? So, what's your new name?