The compassion of the young

Okay class, it's time to share what you've learned this week. Stop by Musings of a Housewife to see what everyone else learned.

My father-in-law died on Sunday. I had taken my daughter out for the afternoon and when we got home, my husband told me the news. My daughter had only met her grandpa once when she was maybe two years old because they live in Florida and we're in Washington. Basically, she has no memory of the man. But we sat her down to tell her what had happened. Then my sweet little 6 year old girl gave her daddy a long hug and told him, "I'm sorry your daddy died." She sat there and comforted him. It was enough to melt this mommy's heart. What I learned this week was that my daughter is more compassionate than I knew. She's always been caring, but in this act, I saw a Gift. Having her as a daughter makes me truly blessed.

Need to put some funny into your week? Check out my blog carnival - Life is Funny - and join in! C'mon, share some laughter!

Life is Funny - What did she say?

It's the Life is Funny Carnival time! Do you have something you'd like to share with us? Just sign up at the bottom of this post!

When I was very young, I had a bit of a speech problem. My "s" would come out sounding like "sh" when I spoke. Kinda cute coming from a little kiddo.

One day my family was at church - a nice Southern Baptist church - in the service. You know how little ones are, always needing to go to the bathroom at inconvenient times. On the upside, I told my mom that I needed to go. On the downside, when I had to go to the bathroom, I'd say, "I have to sit." Only with my "s" problem, it didn't quite sound like "sit." Stunned worshippers turned to see who would use such foul language at church. Think my parents were a bit embarrassed? Needless to say, my mom scooped me up pretty quickly and took me out of there so I could "sit." I don't think they went back to that church again...

Making my parent's lives funny for the past 41 years. It's my calling.

Ready to play? Here's what you do.

1. Anytime this week, blog about what in life you find funny. It could be something that happened during the week, your general impression about why life is funny, or even just your favorite joke. Be creative!

2. Please put a link to my blog in your post. And I'd appreciate it if you'd add my carnival button (made for me by Andie - thanks so much Andie!) to your post. To make this easy, I've put the code to do so under my blog button on my sidebar to the right.

3. After you've posted, come back here and sign up on Mr. Linky below. For the first box, put your name and your blog (example: Wendy @ Weight...What?), then your URL in the second box. Make sure you link directly to your "Life is Funny" post (not to your main page) so we can all read what you have to say.

4. Visit all the other participants and see what they have to say, even if you don't have a blog of your own. And very important: Comment, comment, comment! Oh, how we love getting comments...

5. If you Twitter, please tweet about this - the more participants, the merrier! So go out and spread the laughter! I can't wait to see what everyone has to say!

Prayers appreciated

I'm not going to be posting my blog carnival today, but I'll see if I'm up to getting it posted tomorrow.

My father-in-law passed away today. I would appreciate any prayers you can send up for my husband and his family.

Thanks.

Saturday Silliness - Flying the friendly skies

The other day I talked about equal opportunity obnoxiousness. I wish I could get June Cleaver to teach me my phrase in Jive...

(Warning: the following clip is definitely NOT G rated)

Get ready! The next round of the Life is Funny Carnival starts tomorrow!

Need more silliness? Check out this blog carnival!

Exnay on the wishing for more wishes

Here is yet another installment of "What Should Wendy Write About" brought to you by MoonGoddess. In case you missed it, I put out an offer on this post. If you want, you can still make requests there. But back to MoonGoddess' request. She writes: "Maybe talk about 5 things you would change in life if you were granted 5 wishes - nope you can't ask for more wishes!" Okay, your wish is granted!

What would I wish for? Would you like my Miss America answer? I wish for world peace. Oh, that's so not me... World domination, maybe...

But if I was being serious, I'd wish for a cure for Juvenile Diabetes. I hate that my daughter has it and there's nothing I can do to make it go away.

Of course, I'm not going to be serious. What fun would that be? So here is my list in no particular order:

1. I wish that the better a food tasted, the fewer calories it would have and the better it would be for you. I could be the healthiest person on the planet if that was the case. Now bring me some chocolate!

2. I wish that I could reach that spot on my back that always itches, but I can't quite get to. Either that, or someone to follow me around all day in case I need a good back scratch.

3. While we're on the topic of my back, I wish I could have a massage therapist at my beck and call. Oh yeah, I know how to wish...

4. I wish that my house was self-cleaning and that my garden would magically grow anything I wanted without me lifting a finger. No, I'm not a domestic goddess. I don't like to clean and I kill pretty much every plant I put into the ground.

5. Are you sure I can't wish for more wishes? Hmm... Gotta make this a good one then. I wish that I had an endless supply of fun blog topics so I'd never have to sit at the computer trying to figure out what to write.

But truth be told, I'd turn all those wishes in for the cure wish.

If I had six wishes, I'd wish that everyone would join in on my blog carnival. C'mon, make a girl's wish come true!

Mystery meat - why is it still moving?

The other day, I gave my lovely readers a chance to throw out ideas on what they thought I should write about. So today's topic, cafeteria food, is brought to you by Heather. If you like what you read today, tell me about it in the comments. If you don't like it, feel free to comment on Heather's blog. :o)

Oh cafeteria food... Is it a punishment? A curse? Or just a rite of passage? I've mentioned what cafeteria food did for me in an old post (see #20), and while that was entertaining, it wasn't exactly something I could add to my resume. And while being turned into a gas giant may just seem like playful fun dished up by a lady in a hairnet, cafeteria food at my school also had a dark underbelly.

An evil underbelly.

They would hide things in the food there. Vile, ugly, evil things. Yes folks, they hid mushrooms in the food. Mushrooms! That's fungus that grows in cow poo! Why would I want to put that in my mouth? Fortunately, I was on to their scheme early on in my college career, and I knew to look for said mushrooms so I could pick them out.

But one day, my luck ran out.

Poor, innocent me went to the cafeteria to find the sustenance I'd need to make it through the day when I was greeted by the menu board which said "cheeseburgers." No one's afraid of a little cheeseburger, right? I was lulled into a feeling of safety with this meal. I brought my cheeseburger over to a table and sat down. Just to give myself some peace of mind, I lifted up the bun to make sure that there were no surprises waiting for me. Cheese and meat - I was safe. Or was I...? They set me up with a false sense of security, then WHAM! As soon as I bit into that burger, I knew that evil was afoot. Because hidden under the cheese was a pile of mushrooms! Who does that?! I could almost hear that hairnetted lady behind the counter snickering. Okay evil lunch lady, you won that time, but I lived to tell the story and spread the word to all who will listen:

Never trust anyone in a hairnet.

Hey, you look like you've got a funny life. Why don't you tell us about it? Join the Life is Funny Carnival. Really, we're laughing with you.

Equal opportunity obnoxiousness

Is it really that time again? It’s only been a week, yet I’m expected to have learned something more? Okay, I’ll play. And to see what others have learned this week, check out Musings of a Housewife.

Let me start by saying that I do not have a gift for languages. I took French in junior high and Spanish in high school and I can’t say that either got me very far. What I remember of my French class was how to count to 10. Nope, I can’t count past that. I know one other French phrase, but I picked it up in college: Manger moi. Je suis le fromage. (Eat me. I am cheese.) Try to pull that one up in everyday conversation. I did a bit better with Spanish because I can now speak what I call “Restaurant Spanish.” Yup, I can order at a Mexican restaurant like a pro. Okay, maybe not a pro, but someone who might turn pro. Someday.

That being said, you might be surprised to find out what I collect. Some people collect stamps or coins, but not me. I collect a phrase in as many different languages as possible. “Hey baby, come here often?” Why would I collect such a phrase? Because I feel that it’s important to be obnoxious in as many cultures as possible. So far I can say it in sign language, Spanish, Thai, Vietnamese, and I learned it in Farsi, but for some reason I can’t remember it now. Drats. This week I learned to say it in French: “Hé le bébé, venir ici souvent?” So between that and “Manger moi. Je suis le fromage” I should get pretty far in France. Do you speak another language? If so, you can help add to my collection by giving me the phrase in the language you know. And tell me, baby, do you come here often?

Don’t forget to check out my blog carnival “Life is Funny” and feel free to join in! You know your life is funny, too.

Life is Funny - It looks good on you

It's that time again! Time to dust off your funny bone and get some laughter in. Make sure you sign up and tell your story, because laughing at yourself can be pretty fun, too.

Back when my husband and I were just starting out, I used to work at a place that wasn't terribly close to home. On occassion, my husband would drive down and meet me for lunch. One of our favorite places was this really great burger joint - you know, the kind that has monster-sized, messy burgers? Yup, we'd have a yummy and usually very messy lunch together.

One day in particular, we were eating our lunches and talking. I had finished my burger and wiped my face to make sure I was presentable. When I asked my husband if I got it all, he told me that I had. I continued to pick at my french fries, but my husband needed to get going. Once it was time for me to get back to work, I got up to leave and was walking toward the door. Then something odd started happening - everyone was staring at me as I walked by. Okay, that was weird. I got outside and was walking to my car, and people were staring at me out there, too. Huh. I got into my car and was getting ready to drive off, but decided to put some lipstick on before I left. Gotta look decent before going back to work, right? I looked in the mirror and what did I see? A giant blob of barbeque sauce on the end of my nose. Now that's attractive! My husband swears that it wasn't there when I asked him to do a face check on me, but I didn't have any more barbeque sauce after he'd left. Hmmm... Failing eyesight? Or just part of his evil plan?

Husbands. They make your life funny.

Ready to play? Here's what you do.

1. Anytime this week, blog about what in life you find funny. It could be something that happened during the week, your general impression about why life is funny, or even just your favorite joke. Be creative!

2. Please put a link to my blog in your post. And I'd appreciate it if you'd add my carnival button (made for me by Andie - thanks so much Andie!) to your post. To make this easy, I've put the code to do so under my blog button on my sidebar to the right.

3. After you've posted, come back here and sign up on Mr. Linky below. For the first box, put your name and your blog (example: Wendy @ Weight...What?), then your URL in the second box. Make sure you link directly to your "Life is Funny" post (not to your main page) so we can all read what you have to say.

4. Visit all the other participants and see what they have to say, even if you don't have a blog of your own. And very important: Comment, comment, comment! Oh, how we love getting comments...

5. If you Twitter, please tweet about this - the more participants, the merrier! So go out and spread the laughter! I can't wait to see what everyone has to say!

Saturday Silliness

Last Saturday's cupcake quiz got me thinking. Mmm... Cupcakes... But besides that, I was thinking that Saturdays would be the perfect day of the week to put up something completely random and silly. Okay, truth be told, I don't want to have to think on Saturdays. It's not like my statcounter is spinning out of control over the weekend... But since I feel compelled to post something, I'll just do a post that doesn't tax my brain. Well, too much anyway. So for your amusement, I present the following video clip (And just so you know, there's one potty word near the end.)...

Hey, you know what goes well with circus elephants? Blog carnivals! Yup, the next Life is Funny Carnival starts tomorrow! Jump on in! Your life is funny. Trust me.

The one that wasn't

In yesterday's post, I mentioned that there was a practical joke that I wanted to pull off but didn't. I know you're on the edge of your seat wondering what it is, so I won't keep you in suspense anymore. I'm a giver that way.

First, a bit of background. As I mentioned, I went to Westmont College, a small Christian school that was very conservative. There was no drinking, no smoking, you could only be in the room of a member of the opposite sex on certain days, and even then the door must remain open at a 45 degree angle. Don't even think about dancing. Oh, that totally reminds me of a joke... I'll have to get to that later... Anyway, there would be off-campus dances, usually put on by students. There would be fliers that went around, but on the bottom of every flier had to be the statement, "This is not a Westmont function." It became a big joke among my friends and me about what was, and what was not, a "Westmont function."

More background. One of my best friends worked at the health center over at UC Santa Barbara - a hotbed of sin and indisgretion, clearly. In that health center was a giant fishbowl that was filled daily with condoms. Students could just go in and grab what they needed, or liked to think that they'd need.

Last bit of background. Every year, Westmont would have a parent's weekend when parents would come up to stay and tour the campus, visit the classrooms, and take their kids out for meals that did not resemble anything that came from the dining commons. Lots of parents...

And now, for the practical joke that never saw the light of day. My plan was for my friend to start grabbing large handfuls of condoms every day and bring them back to me. Lots and lots of condoms. Then when parent's weekend came around, we'd take this huge stash of condoms, blow them up and write "Not a Westmont function" on all of them. We'd then put them up all over campus just in time for the parents to arrive. A brilliant plan, yet I couldn't get it to work. My friend didn't want people to see her taking condoms and getting the wrong idea. *sigh* I just can't believe that she wouldn't be willing to look like a cheesy tart in order to make my plan work. What's up with that?

I promised you a joke, didn't I? Growing up in a Baptist family, I found this pretty funny. If you're a Baptist and easily shocked, avert your eyes now!

Why don't Baptists believe in pre-marital sex?

Because it could lead to dancing.

Still time to jump on the Life is Funny Carnival Train! If you miss this one, don't worry. The next train will come by on Sunday.

I admit to nothing.

So, yesterday I posted that people could throw out topics to me and I'd see about writing something on said subject. For today's topic, we can blame thank Kelli who wanted to know what the best practical joke I ever played was.

First off, Kelli, I am shocked and appalled that you would think that I would ever stoop so low as to play a practical joke on someone. That being said, the following did or did not happen. I admit to nothing.

College... Living in the dorms... Ah, good times... Some of you may remember me telling you about going to Westmont, a small Christian college that was pretty conservative. So many chances to get myself into trouble there... Adding a bottle of dish soap to the school fountain, giftwrapping a douche and putting it in the mailbox of a male friend, laying seige to a guys dorm after everyone else had left for Thanksgiving break... Of course I had to do something special with the very large pair of tighty-whities that I might or might not have found in there. One of the best parts of that last one was that they never figured out that it was me who did it, but paybacks went to a couple of girls that I wasn't too fond of. Hey, the horns are only there to keep the halo up.

But after thinking about it for a while, I remembered something else that happened after college. Again, I admit to nothing. But if something did happen, it would have gone something like this... After leaving Westmont, I decided to take some classes at the local community college. And what kind of class would a good Christian girl take that she couldn't have taken at Westmont? Human Sexuality, of course! And what an interesting book for that class! There was this one chapter on sex-change operations, complete with detailed pictures of before and after a surgery. Wanting to share this information, I decided to copy the pictures and made up a letter to send to a friend that had gone to Westmont with me. I wrote up a letter as if it had come from a sex-change clinic and he had requested information on having an operation. Pictures, descriptions, the whole shebang. Oh, and then I faxed it to his work. Yes, this was at a time when workplaces only had one fax machine that everyone shared. Good times... Can you believe that he still talks to me?

Maybe later I'll tell you about a prank that didn't happen, but really needed to. Hmmm... I wonder if it's too late to go back to my old college and pull it off...

Your life is funny. You know it is. So tell us about it! Life is Funny Carnival. Just do it.

Are those Underoos?

Public Speaking and Debate class. Just the thought of such a class sends shivers down the spines of many. But me? I laugh in the face of danger! Ha ha! Okay, I don't really. But I did have a really fun time in my Public Speaking and Debate class in high school, and I owe it all to a wonderful teacher.

Mr. Bridges was one of my all-time favorite teachers. I found out before my last high school reunion that he had passed away. He was a great man. He gave me the chance to really have fun with public speaking, and how many people can really say that? Okay, I'll admit that I was totally the teacher's pet in that class. He really let me have a lot of leeway in there and I took him up on it. During the debate portion of the class, I debated whether or not the Trix Rabbit should be allowed to have Trix (Don't do it! That rabbit is evil and can't be trusted!). He submitted a piece of my work that ended up getting me the Creative Writing Student of the Year award. And he had us do impromptu speeches...

Mr. Bridges was a fan of impromptu speeches. He'd call our name and we'd start walking to the front of the class. While we were walking, he'd call out a topic and we'd have to start speaking about it as soon as we reached the front of the room. One particular day, the overall topic was clothing. Other people were getting called up and getting subjects such as shoes, socks, shirts... And then came my turn. As I was walking up to the front of the room, I hear, "Underwear!" So yes, I gave a speech on underwear in high school - and it still makes me smile today. After class, Mr. Bridges pulled me aside and told me that I was the only one in the class who he would have trusted with underwear as a topic. Um...thanks? But really, I'm thankful for the experience and for the opportunity to be taught by such a great teacher.

So to honor Mr. Bridges, I'm offering you the chance to throw topics at me to write about. Leave a comment here or email me a topic, and I'll see what I can do to write about it. Just make sure that is PG rated, huh? This could be fun...

There's still time to join in on the Life is Funny Carnival! Funny thing things happen every day!

God knows things

Time for the "What I Learned This Week" carnival. Be sure to check out what others had to say over at Musings of a Housewife!

I know that this post is supposed to be about something that I learned this week, but after a conversation I had with my daughter yesterday, I just had to write about what she learned this week. My daughter, who is 6, will often ask questions about God. Some of the stuff she comes up with is pretty funny. Yesterday she was trying to figure out just how much God really knows.

“Mommy, how tall am I going to be?”

“I don’t know sweetie, only God knows that.”

“Will He tell me?”

“Nope, it’s just one of those things you’ll have to wait to find out.”

“How does God know?”

“Because He knows everything.”

From there she went on to learn that God knew what she was thinking at that very moment (“But I’m not thinking about anything!), how many hairs were on her head (“No, I can’t count them for you.”) and who she would be playing with the next day at school (“No, He won’t tell you that either. You’ll just have to wait and see.”).

Watching her, I could just see the wheels turning as she tried to wrap her 6 year old brain around all this information. Heck, how could I wrap my adult brain around it all? I’m not sure how much she understands, but one thing that she did learn:

God knows things.

Don't forget to join in on my blog carnival, "Life is Funny." C'mon, you know your life is funny...

Making it up as I go along

I'm in a bit of a quandry here. I have a post all ready for posting. It's been ready since this morning. I can't even believe how prepared I am. The problem? It's for the "What I Learned This Week" carnival, but Musings of a Housewife hasn't done her starting post yet. Yup, just checked again. Nada. But I feel like I should post something for today. I have nothing planned and I don't really know where I'm going with this. But here I am.

Still nothing.

Okay, looks like I'm going to have to come up with a topic. Bear with me.

Grasping at straws to pull this out... European people seem to be fascinated by the splits. Or maybe having dreams of doing the splits. How do I know this? Because my statcounter has been telling me that I've been getting a ton of hits all over Europe to this old post. And it's not that they've been Googling it, either. They're going right to it. Why is this post bouncing all over that continent? That I don't know. But I'm more than willing to take a trip over there to find out. Okay, that's not going to happen, but I'd still really like to know what's going on. Are they all over there mocking me because they can do the splits and I can't? Perhaps they just like the picture of the Banana Splits that I put on the post. Or Kim Possible. Anyway, it's a mystery.

These are the kind of things that keep me up at night.

If anyone can clue me in on this one, I'd be eternally grateful. Or just for fun, come up with your own ideas and tell me about them in the comments.

And hey, since tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day...

So, do you find life to be funny? Tell us about it! Jump on the "Life is Funny" carnival train! You know you wanna...

Life is Funny - Pumpkin Pie and Monkey Man

Here it is folks! Round 2 of the Life is Funny Carnival! Jump on in!

My daughter, Pumpkin Pie, and my nephew, Monkey Man, adore each other. When they get together it's as if the rest of the world doesn't exist. They'll play for hours and be happy as clams. They get right up in each other's faces and talk and talk and talk. My mom says that they act like two little old people when they're together. It really is pretty darn cute.

The other day, I took Pumpkin Pie over to my folks house. They've been building this house for a while now and it's getting to the finishing stages - putting paint on walls, waiting for carpeting, putting on doorknobs... Well, Monkey Man came over that day too, and the two were off chattering away and having a great time. I went about doing some painting and getting things done, until...

I walked into another room to see my nephew talking through a hole in a door where the doorknob would soon be placed. And what was on the other side of that door? My daughter, going potty. She might be using the facilities, but that's no reason to stop talking! Right through the hole in the door. Oh, how I wish I had a picture of that...

Kids really make life funny.

Ready to play? Here's what you do.

1. Anytime this week, blog about what in life you find funny. It could be something that happened during the week, your general impression about why life is funny, or even just your favorite joke. Be creative!

2. Please put a link to my blog in your post. And I'd appreciate it if you'd add my carnival button (made for me by Andie - thanks so much Andie!) to your post. To make this easy, I've put the code to do so under my blog button on my sidebar to the right.

3. After you've posted, come back here and sign up on Mr. Linky below. For the first box, put your name and your blog (example: Wendy @ Weight...What?), then your URL in the second box. Make sure you link directly to your "Life is Funny" post (not to your main page) so we can all read what you have to say.

4. Visit all the other participants and see what they have to say, even if you don't have a blog of your own. And very important: Comment, comment, comment! Oh, how we love getting comments...

5. If you Twitter, please tweet about this - the more participants, the merrier!

So go out and spread the laughter! I can't wait to see what everyone has to say!

And now for something completely frivolous...

Saturday. Slow blogging day. What's a girl to do? I know! A completely silly quiz link! Go on... You know you want to know what kind of a cupcake you are...

You Are a Chocolate Cupcake

You are deep, richly interesting, and at times overpowering. You have a strong personality. You are drawn to people who adore you. You love it when your specialness is recognized. You are like a cupcake because it's hard for people to get enough of you. You have a mysterious charm that makes you incredibly addicting. People are drawn to your drama.

What Flavor Cupcake Are You?

Hmmm... Brilliant. My life as a cupcake! So spill - what kind are you? And is it true what they say about you?

There's a new Life is Funny Carnival starting tomorrow! Get those funnies ready!

There's something seriously wrong with me.

I think there's something seriously wrong with me. I started cleaning today for no apparent reason. I know, weird! I mean, I don't even have company coming over!

I've never been much of a cleaner. My mom keeps threatening to show my daughter pictures of my bedroom from when I was a kid. Truth be told, I've got pictures hidden away somewhere of a pigsty of a bedroom from when I was in my 20's. Hey, as long as there's a pathway, it's all good. Just don't tell my daughter that.

Do you know who is to blame for this sudden cleaning frenzy of mine? Other bloggers. Yup, you heard me. With their oh-so-innocent posts about starting their spring cleaning and talking about how much nicer their homes look now... That evil cunning has sucked me in, I tell you! No! I won't be lured into that cleanliness cult of yours!

Whoa, would you look at that dust bunny? I'd better get the vaccuum...

Do I really need to remind you again? Join in already! Life is Funny... C'mon, you know your life is funny...

Just put the cereal down. Trust me on this one.

Yesterday was a big blog reading day for me. What else is one to do when they stay in their jammies all day? Anyway, I found some fabulous new (t0 me) blogs that will definitely become part of my regular reading repertoire. There was one post I read that I just have to share. On Marnie's blog, Chronicles of Marnia, she had some hysterical videos posted. Go ahead and click on her title so you can see them, too. They're videos from funny man Tim Hawkins and so worth the extra click to watch. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Back?

Okay, so I stormed YouTube to find more videos and let me tell ya, there's a plethora. Yes, I said plethora. Unfortunately for my computer, I was eating cereal while watching... If you follow me on Twitter, you'd know that yesterday was a big cereal day for me. Anyhoo, I cleaned the cereal chunks off my computer screen and now I'd like to share a video with you.

Make sure you put down your cereal first. Your computer will thank you.

Hmmm... I think I'm going to have a new cross-stitching project...

And now that you're in a funny mood, how about joining my carnival, Life is Funny? Make sure you check out what others have added on, too! Yup, some funny stuff there!

Why I don't need a weatherman to tell me that snow is coming

We got some snow here in lovely Washington a few days back. I hadn't watched the news, but I knew it was coming. How? I looked at my statcounter, of course.

I love having a statcounter. It's been a real kick to see what people are doing in relation to my blog. But a statcounter as a weather forecaster? Yes. At least, when snow is coming. Why is that? Because people start Googling "First Snowflake Freakout Lady" like crazy! And for those of you who Googled it and landed here, just hit that link I just posted and it will safely get you to instructions on how to hear the commercial. And I know you want to hear the commercial. It's a great commercial. I just had to go listen to it again myself.

So the moral of the story, boys and girls, is to blog about a commercial that is wildly popular and they will come...

Don't forget to join in my new blog carnival - Life is Funny!

Out of sight, out of mind?

Over at Musings of a Housewife, she does a weekly carnival called "What I Learned This Week" (Make sure you check out what others had to say, too!). As I lay awake in bed last night, I wondered what I had learned. The answer I came up with was kind of a surprise for me. People remember me.

I spend a good amount of time thinking about people I've known in the past and wondering how they are and what they're doing now. Where is Bobby, my love from kindergarten, anyway? And does he remember how sweet he used to be? Is my 5th grade teacher, my all-time favorite teacher, still teaching? And what about those mean girls from jr. high? Did they get their comeuppance? (Oh, they were evil!)

But I never think that people will remember me, let alone sit and think about me. I'm not sure why that is, but I've always thought that once I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind for other people. Facebook has been rocking that notion lately. I signed up recently and people that I never would have guessed would remember me are finding me there. I have to admit that I'm still having a bit of trouble wrapping my head around that one, but it is really nice. I like being remembered.

Now, if I could just do something about all the pictures these old friends have of me... Did my hair really look like that?!

Don't forget to check out my new blog carnival, Life is Funny!

Life is Funny

Introducing... My new carnival!!! I have to say that I'm pretty excited about doing this. I hope that everyone will participate! I'll explain more in a bit, but for now, here's my post.

God has a great sense of humor. Need proof? Just look around you. Life is funny. Take the random assortment of leftover parts that we've come to know as the platypus.

See? Funny. God had to be laughing when he created them.

And then there's our kids. I have to say that my daughter is hysterical! She's picked up quite the little sense of humor. Even when she was young, she was full of surprises and laughter for us. One of my all-time favorite things that she did happened when she was 2 or 3 years old. We were driving at night and she was in the back seat and angry about something - I wish I could remember what. It was dark, so of course we couldn't see her, so from the backseat we hear, "I'm making a face at you!"

I'm sure she wasn't happy about it, but my husband and I couldn't stop laughing. To this day, we'll still say, "I'm making a face at you!" when the other person needs to have a face made at them. Oh, good times.

So, how is life funny for you? C'mon, share. Laughter is a gift!

Ready to play? Here's what you do.

1. Anytime this week, blog about what in life you find funny. It could be something that happened during the week, your general impression about why life is funny, or even just your favorite joke. Be creative!

2. Please put a link to my blog in your post. And I'd appreciate it if you'd add my carnival button (made for me by Andie - thanks so much Andie!) to your post. To make this easy, I've put the code to do so under my blog button on my sidebar to the right.

3. After you've posted, come back here and sign up on Mr. Linky below. For the first box, put your name and your blog (example: Wendy @ Weight...What?), then your URL in the second box. Make sure you link directly to your "Life is Funny" post (not to your main page) so we can all read what you have to say.

4. Visit all the other participants and see what they have to say, even if you don't have a blog of your own. And very important: Comment, comment, comment! Oh, how we love getting comments...

5. If you Twitter, please tweet about this - the more participants, the merrier!

So go out and spread the laughter! I can't wait to see what everyone has to say!

It's a mystery.

I think we're going to have to call in Scooby-doo and the gang to figure out today's post. Yes, it's a mystery. Will it have a point? Probably not. I'm feeling some rambling coming on...

It was quite cold and windy here today. Perfect weather for standing outside the grocery store selling Girl Scout Cookies. Today was our last booth sale, and I'm happy to say that we sold enough cookies that we'll have to order more for Operation Cookie Drop. This is a good thing because I didn't want to have to buy leftovers.

We (my family) are going to see Seussical the Musical tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty excited about it! I've heard that it's a really fun show. Have any of you ever seen it? And if so, care to give your review?

And to wrap it up for today, I have another mystery for you... I'm going to be starting a weekly feature, a carnival of sorts, tomorrow. Want to know more about it and how to participate? Ha! You'll have to tune in tomorrow...

Friends don't let friends run

Friends, I have noticed an unnatural trend rising. I must say that I'm shocked at the behavior being displayed in public - after all, children could be watching! I'm sure you've witnessed it yourselves. We must take a stand and fight this outrageous behavior! Yes, I'm talking about running.

I was reading Darcie's blog yesterday, and I was stunned to find that her seemingly normal husband was trying to get her to...run. I know! I couldn't believe it myself! What I found most grievous was that she was giving in to him! Say it isn't so, Darcie!

So I did what any real friend would do. I talked her down.

For those of you out there who are not in-the-know, let me lay out some simple guidelines for when it is permissible to run:

1. When you're being chased by a monster. Now, we all know that monsters don't really exist, so this is not a valid excuse. Besides, if you really did see a monster, you'd want to stop and take a picture of it to sell on the internet.

2. You're running to get the phone. But then again, you could just let the machine get it. Would you want to be known as the person who ran to pick up a phone call only to have it be a telemarketer on the other end of the line?

3. There's a 90% off shoe sale. Okay, now that's a valid reason. And if you find any black flat mules in my size, give me a call, huh?

So friends, be on the lookout for these ne'er-do-wells and talk them down from the endorphin high that they're on. Remember, friends don't let friends run.

Oprah Lizardfanny

Okay folks, you were warned that this day would come... In an older post I said that I'd post about Captain Underpants (see #28), and now I'm making good on that threat promise.

I have a great fondness for Captain Underpants and his many adventures. I could lie and tell you that it started when I bought a book for my daughter, but the truth is, I've had Captain Underpants books since before she was born. Kind of like my Veggie Tales collection. I can't blame it on the kiddo. It's all my own doing.

One of my favorites of the series is Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants (by Dav Pilkey). Yes, it's very intelligent reading. Anyway, our villain in this story forces everyone to change their names using his "Name Change-O-Chart 2000" - yes, it's evil brilliance. So for your name-changing pleasure, I present the chart, complete with instructions on how to change your name.

First Chart: Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name!

A= Stinky , B= Lumpy , C= Buttercup , D= Gidget ,

E= Crusty , F= Greasy , G=Fluffy , H=Cheeseball ,

I= Chim-Chim , J= Poopsie , K= Flunky , L= Booger ,

M= Pinky , N= Zippy , O= Goober , P= Doofus ,

Q= Slimy , R= Loopy , S= Snotty , T= Falafel ,

U= Dorky , V= Squeezit , W= Oprah , X= Skipper ,

Y= Dinky , Z= Zsa-Zsa

Second Chart: Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name.

A= Diaper , B= Toilet , C= Giggle , D= Bubble ,

E= Girdle , F= Barf , G= Lizard , H= Waffle ,

I= Cootie , J= Monkey , K= Potty , L= Liver ,

M= Banana , N= Rhino , O= Burger , P= Hamster ,

Q= Toad , R= Gizzard , S= Pizza , T= Gerbil ,

U= Chicken , V= Pickle , W= Chuckle , X= Tofu ,

Y= Gorilla , Z= Stinker

Third Chart: Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name.

A= Head , B= Mouth , C= Face , D= Nose ,

E= Tush , F= Breath , G= Pants , H= Shorts ,

I= Lips , J= Honker , K= Butt , L= Brain ,

M= Tushie , N= Chunks , O= Hiney , P= Biscuits ,

Q= Toes , R= Buns , S= Fanny , T= Sniffer ,

U= Sprinkles , V= Kisser , W= Squirt , X= Humperdinck ,

Y= Brains , Z= Juice

M new name is Oprah Lizardfanny and my maiden name is Bananapants. Pretty fun, huh? So, what's your new name?

All I want for Easter is my one front tooth

After seeing the title of this post, you probably thought it was going to be about my daughter, didn't you? Well, you'd be wrong.

Way back when, I got my front tooth knocked out. Yes, it was the permanent one. It was horrible. I was jumped by a gang of thugs and they just knocked it out. No? Would you believe that it was a horrible hockey fight? No, huh? Well, would you believe that it was knocked out by a Girl Scout? Oh sure, that one you'd believe. Of course, that really is what happened... I was in 4th grade and at a Girl Scout meeting. We were in the back yard playing and doing gymnastics while we waited for the meeting to start. Well, I was going one way, and another girl was going another way... I got kicked in the face and it knocked out me and my tooth. Ick..

Flash forward. I've been working on getting a dental implant for said tooth for almost 3 years now. I've been through an awful lot to get to the point I'm at now ( I can't hear "bone graft" without getting the shivers) and I'd really like my tooth. Oh sure, I've got a fake one in there now, but I want the permanent one in there. I miss eating corn on the cob without looking like a side show act. I was told last spring that I should be done by last summer and that I'd get to have that corn on the cob. Nope. They just keep dangling that carrot in front of me. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've heard, "Just a few weeks more!" Well, today was supposed to be the day. Yes, "supposed" to be. The tooth was at the dentist's office waiting to be put in. Too bad that it was the wrong color. And not just a little bit wrong either, although I wouldn't mind my teeth being that glowing white. .

So here I wait, listening to the call of the wild corncob. .

I'll bet my dentist buys carrots in bulk.

And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street...

Did you know that today is Dr. Seuss' birthday? His books are as fun for me today as they were when I was a kid. Okay, maybe more so now. There are just so many of his books to love!

Who can resist Green Eggs and Ham? I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

My personal favorite is One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. From near to far From here to there, Funny things are everywhere.

My daughter loves it when I read Fox in Socks to her - have you read it? That is the tongue-twistiest book I've ever read! We'll find something new to do now. Here is lots of new blue goo now. New goo. Blue goo. Gooey. Gooey. Blue goo. New goo. Gluey. Gluey.

So much to love!

Did you know that there's a really cool Dr. Seuss website? There are fun games to play there, you can read up on Dr. Seuss, see the catalog of books and more. Oh, and check out the Read Across America link there - it's still going on for a bit longer. And hey, there's a contest going on, too. Wait. Forget about entering the contest. No, really, don't enter. You wouldn't want to win some silly old contest now, would you?

So, what's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?

Cheesetastic!

I'm about to share something with you all. I have a love for things that are tacky and cheesy. I'll go on factory tours that would make most people just roll their eyes. If I could find one, I probably would put a hula dancer on my dashboard. I have a purse that's made from half a coconut. The list goes on and on. But my great love is for tacky postcards.

It all started back in college when I got "The World's Tackiest Postcards" and "Revenge of the Son of the World's Tackiest Postcards" (Klutz Press, now out of print). They were books of real postcards that you could tear out and mail, and boy were they tacky! Here's an example of one:

Of course, I did pull some out and mail them. But then I missed them so much that I had to go and re-buy the books so I'd still have them all. I started checking out postcard racks wherever I went in the hopes of finding something truly tacky. I found one once that was a guy standing next to an open coffin, modeling it. Ah, those were the days when you could just walk into a store and find a tacky postcard. It's much more difficult these days. I find plenty that are just in bad taste, but that hardly qualifies as something truly tacky. I need cheesetastic!

I once made a postcard for my sister and sent it to her. What did I make it out of? One side of a tampon box. It had lovely flowers on it. I don't know why she wasn't as amused by it as I was.

Friends used to send me the tacky postcards that they were able to find, too. One of my old roommates was on England semester one year and sent me a couple of interesting ones. The innocent should avert their eyes about now. Ready? They were boob postcards that had faces painted on them. One of them had the caption: "We're a couple of swells in London." Oh, and she sent them to me at my parent's house. Ah, priceless. Thanks Prancer!

I went looking for my postcard books today, but I couldn't find them anywhere. Yes, I'm distraught. I could really use a tacky postcard fix. My friends don't send them to me anymore (probably because they're so hard to find these days) and my mailbox is lonely for them. So if you see any postcards that are truly tacky and wonderful, please feel free to send them to me. I'll love you forever!